Time to stop the madness

[someone_else]

Time to stop the madness

Well done, justforme! Sorry you're feeling depressed...just remind yourself of what you've accomplished!

[mayday]

Time to stop the madness

Justforme;881710 wrote: HI Mayday - Your story is also mine, particularly liked your referring to the 'few wines' while preparing dinner. I've been AF 40 days today. Everyone around me is very impressed/shocked/incredulous which should tell me a lot! In the first few days when the cravings were really bad (particularly as I prepared dinner) I had my wine glass right beside me and kept it topped up with whatever flash kind of soft drink that I could find in the supermarket. Cranberry and Lime was a goodie. Also went through bottles of sparkling mineral water. It was as if I had an unquenchable thirst. Every time that thought came into my head (as in 'swallow') I just filled that wine glass up again and slugged it back. Each morning I woke up in amazement that I had not succumbed to AL.
The thing that I have found most difficult in my sobriety is looking at why I needed to drink so much. (I was 1 bottle of wine per night/1 1/2 sometimes). Somewhere around day 38 I've come to realise that I was pouring myself a drink whenever I felt any emotion at all. Happiness, sadness, anxiety, concern, whatever it was, I now know that a sensation passes through my body which says, have a drink, that will help. Weird, I know. But I think I'm on to something for helping myself understand the hold that AL has had on me.
I hope that after 3 months I will be able to have a glass when I am out at dinner and enjoy what it tastes like. But maybe not. It may be at the end of three months that I have realised that it's not about the taste at all for me, it's about covering something up, or shutting a feeling down.
Anyway, rambling here. But I am feeling quite depressed (I am on anti-depressants) but feel that this is part of the process for me. If I'm sad, I need to understand why, rather than smothering it with alcohol.
Good luck for today Mayday. I wish you well. Should also mention that in the first week or so, I checked into this site twenty or so times a day, just to be in touch with people who understood. There is nothing quite like this site for getting through this. xx

Hi Justforme...thank you so much ..its lunchtime now and have just come on again (5th time today) just feeling like I needed to read some more supportive stuff and there it was, I am really really heartened that you are at day 40, so I'm feeling I can do it too and absorb all your insight I am off to the supermarket to also get some really nice non al drink and think I will take your idea and pour it into my favourite wine glass!
I also have come to the place I know the drink is not about the taste because I could start off slowly sipping and then (especially on a bad day) I would be positively 'skulling' it until I got the euphoric numb feeling...and it really started to not matter whether it was a 'rough red' or an expensive white...as long as I got numb.
I also had a breif spell on anti depressants but opted to increase my exercise and started taking 5 HTP at night (which works to create serotonin) so that I could stop taking them, I was also a bit worried about taking them and drinking like a fish as well!!
I hope it helps your sadness a little today to know that you have really helped me..and I really hope you feel happier soon, I know that sad feeling and its the pits..Thank you!:l

[mayday]

Time to stop the madness

Arrgh...woken up this morning feeling like I have a hangover and no alcohol...this was not something I expected...hope it passes quickly

[daybyday]

Time to stop the madness

:goodjob:On Day one Mayday! Yes, the hangover feeling can stick with us for awhile but it does go away. Guess it's a remembered pattern. Your story also rings to true to my own AL life. I have been AF for 50 days now and everyday just keeps getting better so hang in there and know that being AF is wonderful!

[mayday]

Time to stop the madness

Wahoo...Day 4 and feel so much better today..weird thing..my head feels clearer and had the best nights sleep, can just feel today is gonna be a goodie! have also lost 1 kilo in weight..can that be possibler after only 4 days with no booze?..hope that continues!

[mayday]

Time to stop the madness

daybyday;882536 wrote: :goodjob:On Day one Mayday! Yes, the hangover feeling can stick with us for awhile but it does go away. Guess it's a remembered pattern. Your story also rings to true to my own AL life. I have been AF for 50 days now and everyday just keeps getting better so hang in there and know that being AF is wonderful!

Thanks..will do..50 days! thats fantasic..thats where I'm headed
:thanks:

[brittney101]

Time to stop the madness

I am on my second day AF. It is so tough not to have a beer to unwind but I know that I will drink an entire 6 or 12 pack before I go bed. How did I get like this? Nobody knows how often I was buzzed in the midde of the day. Cracking open a beer by 10 am because I felt that since I am a good wife, mother,daughter, employee and law abiding citizen I deserved it. I want to stop that insanity and I am asking for all of you to pray for me and I will return the favor and pray for all of you. Let's stay strong!!

[mayday]

Time to stop the madness

Hi brittany101, stick with it..you can do it, I had a bad day yesterday (day3) but am so glad I just kept close to this site, read alot of what others have done and now before I knew it its day 4 and feel totally different, if someone had told me I would feel like this tommorrow I would've probably said 'yeah right!...' I will pray for you
I don't really know how I got to that place either, but I guess it was a slow process over time so I guess it makes sense that recovery out of it will be the same (a slow process over time), just in reverse...only difference is the days will get better, not worse hang in there you're doing great!!