Regrets

[twosox40]

I have so many regrets because of AL, I think I used to just put it out of my mind before, becuse I was not always drunk during those regrets, but AL made me lazy really lazy, all I could think about is enjoying my glass of wine or that beer, instead of getting up and playing a board game or going swimming, biking or playing catch with my kids, no I would rather sit at the end of my dock or in front of my t.v. and have a few drinks, because I thought I deserved it, did not cross my mind what my kids deserved and that was a mom who would do things with them. I can remember coming home from the hospital with my third child and what did I do, sat outside with my feet up and a drink, she started fussing and instead of getting my ass up out of the chair, I let my mom take care of here, that should have been me. I wish I could have realized this a long time ago, but all of a sudden I am finally seeing it, like my eyes have been shut and now there open. I always told myself I don't have a problem because I am not stumbling about only did that occasionaly, may have had a lot of buzzes but not drunk, never thought about how damn lazy it made me that I would neglect the fun things the truly fun things with my kids. This is it, I can not ever let AL rule my life, I want to live and be there for my babies, they are the world to me. Sorry for going on and on, just had to get it off my chest.

Thanks for listening,
Twosox

[sk8punk]

Regrets

Hey Twosox. We all have regrets fom alcohol. The best thing to do is let your past go. Learn from it but don't dwell in it. Be a better person today. That's all any of us can do. Be the best you today and it will make tomorrow better.

[one2many]

Regrets

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” Sydney Smith quotes (English Clergyman

[hart]

Regrets

Good thread, thanx Two, S* and Oney.

I too have regrets about passed opportunities due to rather stay home and drink that whatever. And what irritates me is when I did go, a lot of times I had a blast. But with drink in hand and next opportunity I seemed not to remember.

But Oney's quote is very apt and something to live by. So let's go make the future full of taking opportunities and experiencing things, good and bad, rather than looking back with a lot of shouldas.....

And (((Two))) I don't know what age your children are, but I know they would rather enjoy you now than have you be mourning what's already happened.

[spedteach]

Regrets

Great quote one2.

Twosox, make those regrets work for you by staying af. I am visiting my 3 grown up sons. Finally being able to appreciate them sober. Don't wait as long as I did. As the quote says, that regret is inconsolable.

[Ringing Cedars]

Regrets

one2many;884304 wrote: Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.? Sydney Smith quotes (English Clergyman

Amen to that Oney. We have the power of today and the opportunities and choices that it presents.

[twosox40]

Regrets

Thanks to all of you, I know I just have to let it go and start making great and wonderful memories, not that I don't have any, but I will atleast have a lot more and a lot less regrets.

Twosox

[Guest]

Regrets

I" wasted my 20s and early 30s" was something I would continue to drink on. All the missed opportunities etc, then again I wouldn't have the wonderful friends I have made through those circumstances, or be here in this place right now. I might also have never developed any sort of self-awareness and turned out to be someone quite different.

I try not to look back as I can't change it, and it's sad sometimes - but I can make the most of now instead and try to forge a more positive way.

[hillsidetime]

Regrets

Hi Twosox, I am with you on this one. From your honest post, it is clear how you are feeling. I have a lot of guilt and regret as well - some days it is not there, and some days it is like a hot iron burning into me. I am not sure if it will take time, or us to forgive ourselves, - to move past these feelings. The one thing I do know, is that, being af, makes it easier to face those feelings - although I can't yet find resolution. Your children will enjoy every day with you, much more, when you are sober, I know that they appreciate it so much. All the best,
Hill

[Rusty]

Regrets

Welcome Twosox,

I have that regret, too....but here's the great thing....once your children see you sober, and sober for awhile, those memories will fade and children are very forgiving. I don't have any kids but I cringe about the times my little nieces and nephews (I have 12) saw me wasted, and those memories come back, just like Hill said, they are like a hot iron. Believe me, the sober memories your kids will have of you will overwhelm the drunken ones and your kids will remember the wonderful mom you are.

Oney, that is an incredible quote. I copied it for inspiration because like Sped said, that regret is inconsolable. I spent 3 1/2 years filled with anger, sadness and regret that was self-induced with alcohol. I'm not going to waste another minute because all that time was counterproductive. Yup, you're right....AL does make you lazy....it zaps the motivation to do ANYTHING right out of you, and yet we think it's our friend????? Sk8 is right....we can all just learn from it. Sk8 has been a wonderful addition to this thread and his story is worth reading. If you click on his name, you can read his previous posts or threads, and click on anyone's name, and you can read their stories. This will really help you.

Check in again with us, Twosox, we are all here for you.

[sk8punk]

Regrets

Like Hill mentioned, the best thing to do is forgive yourself. I know this may seem impossible right now. But you can do it. Remember life can not be changed with would've , should've or could've . Forgive yourself and make new memories. Rusty had a great point. With time those memories and be replaced with good memories.

[Rusty]

Regrets

Hi Citymama,

Sk8 is right again....should've, could've, would've....yup, it's like a broken record and we have no choice but to learn from our mistakes, and even with our heart of hearts, we would pay the devil to turn the clock back. What I've started to do, at the advice of my therapist, is to keep a daily journal of my feelings. I've never done that before, but it has been so cathartic and a part of my healing. That might be able to help you figure out why you drink and how to change.

Sk8...how is that darling little boy? He is sooo cute....if I could pull him right out of the picture, I would just hug him and squeeze him! Oh yeah, a sober life is worth living for that little guy. I don't have any kids of my own but I have 12 nieces and nephews who are my lifeline and I could tell by my youngest niece and nephew's graduation party yesterday that they have forgiven (and hopefully forgotten) my past drunken behavior of 2 years ago. Ugghhhh!

City and Sk8....I have gone to so many family functions in the last 6 months and now that I'm not drinking, they are coming forward and rather than throw my past in my face, they send me cards, e-mails and pay me huge compliments that make my cry out of gratitude. I thought I had lost my family 20 months ago when they confronted me. I didn't think they would ever forgive me, visit me again, or allow me around their children because of the bad example I set, but they have, and if I can be forgiven, so can you!!!!

[sk8punk]

Regrets

Good idea Rusty. A journal could really help. That's what I've been doing with my thread. It does seem once you get those feelings down on paper you can deal with them better. At least I can. There was a time I beat myself up about the past. It takes time and patience for one to forgive themselves. In some ways its harder than forgiving another person.

Great job Rusty! You're on the right path. Isn't great to enjoy get togethers sober!? I'm glad to see your family has forgiven you. Gives me hope for my own situation

[twosox40]

Regrets

Thank you all for the advice, I think before the regrets kept me in this addictive behavior, so I know I need to let them go and forgive myself, but I don't know if I want to forget, because right now that is what is keeping me af, funny how it is having the opposite affect this time around. I don't want to forget what a a_ _ al makes of me or how stupid I become or even if I am not drunk how lazy it makes me even if it is just a few drinks. I don't know if that makes any sense or not but remembering is keeping me from not drinking.

Thanks,
Twosox

[sk8punk]

Regrets

I do the samething Twosox. I have forgiven myself but I will not forget. Like you that is why I'm sober and the person I'm becoming. You seem to be on the right track.