Wanting a change

[rebirth]

Hi everyone. Been reading threads from this site for the past couple of days. So inspiring, so informative! Its taken me nearly two years to accept that I cannot drink like a normal person. I tried controlling my units for a long time as I did not want to give up AL and its impossible for me. I would have a good week ( not drink from monday to thursday), then down all the missing units over the weekend. Sundays would be the worse as I knew that I could not drink on monday so I drank even more out of sheer desparation and panic. A bad week (which happened alot) was basically drinking everyday...and hating myself.
I have been in a miserable state for a long, long time.. in that crazy limbo land of drinking but not wanting to drink. 15 years of this.Feeling sick and tired of my hangovers, of discovering bruises on my body from falling over, sleeping during the day because I am too wasted, not remembering what I said/did, burning myself cause I am too drunk to cook, too drunk to socialise, too drunk to live life.
I will die from AL if i dont stop . Change is my only chance....Its been day 12 since I have stopped drinking.I am miserably happy! I truely believe that this site will give me all the mental support I need. x

[tlrgs]

Wanting a change

welcome rebirth .. love the name relly its a new beginning in life you want to find and you found it here ..just do it one day at a time ... keep posting and reading what works for you and awesome job on 12 days af keep it going .. good luck and we are here with you and for you .. lets get this under control together

[techie]

Wanting a change

It sounds like you are off to a wonderful start rebirth. It is a rebirth, coming out of the fog of dependency. Not sure what you are doing for cravings.i.e. supplements, meds, etc but it appears you have a very strong determination. You willfind plenty of infomation in the holistic healing threads and good stuff in the tool box https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html I wish you well and a hearty welcome!

[rebirth]

Wanting a change

Thank you tlrgs for your comment. Means alot to mean. Its nearly midnight here so am going to sleep but I will be back for sure. I am grumpy and irritable but immensely happy of what I have achieved so far. Self respect and inner peace for 12 solid days. Priceless!

[Doggygirl]

Wanting a change

:welcome: and I too like that screen name!! I was where you are. I hated drinking, but I couldn't stop. I didn't want alcohol controlling me any more, but I was scared to death to face a life without drinking. I was suicidal too.

My life is completely different today. This change can happen for you too. You are already off to a fabulous start with 12 AF days!! I look forward to getting to know you better.

DG

[bugz]

Wanting a change

I think I have been in this state "that crazy limbo land of drinking but not wanting to drink"
for two and half years, I'm on my 4th or 5th real attempt to really stop... cause I really wanna
stop..... I'm just trying to really learn what to do so I don't crack and give in!!!

[rebirth]

Wanting a change

How lovely

How lovely to read these positive comments first thing in the morning with my cup of coffee. Thank you thank you for your support. Only you guys know how hard it is for me!
It does scare me not to drink as this is such a big part of my personality. But its been my captor and I its slave. It turns me into someone I DONT want to be.I hate who I am when I drink. I turn into a useless, uninteresting blob of flesh too incoherent to even say my name. Its so shameful.
When I have a craving I go onto this site and read all the previous posts. I call AA, I run around the house like a mad woman screaming/chanting "NO I WILL NOT GIVE IN TO YOU". I devour chocolate, I start cleaning the house etc
lol. Anything to make the craving disappear. Its a lifetime commitment but I people have beat this so so can I.
Thanks guys again. Today is a great day. Its wonderful to be sober.
x:thanks:

[woywoyboy]

Wanting a change

You sound very determined rebirth and good on you! As you say, it is wonderful to be sober and you deserve to be sober.

[spuddleduck]

Wanting a change

rebirth. well done on your AF time. your words ring so true for me, and many others i imagine. you are taking all the right steps, keep it up, you can do this

[hillsidetime]

Wanting a change

Hi Rebirth and welcome. It does seem like you are ready for a new beginning. You are already 12 days af, way to go! It is hard work, especially in the early going, but it is worth every difficult minute. Hang in there, some tough urges, old habits, social cues and temptetions will come, but you can ride them, and they will pass. All the best to you,
Hill

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Wanting a change

rebirth;888069 wrote: Only you guys know how hard it is for me!
Its wonderful to be sober.

Welcome Rebirth, nice name choice. I picked these two sentences in particular from your last post because they are so very true. The members here do understand only to well what it is like to be in the grip of alcohol addiction as only a person who has been there can. The result of this fact is the never ending non judgemental support, advice and help that is available here 24/7 from all around the world.
I wish you all the best on your journey, as you point out "Its wonderful to be sober"
Keep safe
KTAB

[K9Lover]

Wanting a change

Rebirth (great name, as others have stated)
Keep up the good work. When you get a bad craving, jump onto the boards, or go into Chat, there will be plenty of encouragement and support...of course, chocolate works too!
We're glad to have you here. You're doing great so far!
K9