my dillema

[bugz]

last time i posted here I was maybe 8 days AF, I finally cracked after hours
and hours of contemplating if I should or shouldn't drink... I had a full case
of beer in the garage and it was taunting me and driving me mad to the
point where I just gave in to stop my mind from focusing on it.... anyway
since then...

I am now 10 days AF but every night I get home from work I am bored
to tears the physical withdrawals are gone but mentally I am going
bonkers... there's isn't a single drop of booze in the house this time
so if I stay home I'm good... I get home after work late so bars
stores are closed which is another plus......

how the hell do I get it off my mind..... I need a solution of some sort lol :upset:

also since my 10day AF I have decided I have to completely eliminate
my friends and never be around them since all they do is drink... which
leaves me alone and bored...

uh

[bugz]

my dillema

I guess what I"m really asking is what can I do so I don't cave and give in again!

[rebirth]

my dillema

Hi bugz
I really relate to your frustration big time! Its a hard one to answer because it really is down to you to stop. I have tried so many times in the past unsuccessfully...feeling like a loser..then quitting..not caring ..back to drinking ....like a hamster in a wheel. I just woke up one morning and had enough of feeling like this. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. You need to get to that point where you have truely had enough. You will suddenly not care about your previous worries with boredom or your friends drinking because your sobriety will come first.My drinking was affecting my relationship, my motherhood so I guess I hit rock bottom. I sincerely wish you all the inner strength because I know how you feel. x

[woywoyboy]

my dillema

Try reading a large novel. I've not read for years and a few days ago bought a 1200pp novel and it really helps to relax and take my mind away for a couple of hours.

[Guest]

my dillema

Bugz

Right at the start I just kept things simple - in the past I too had had the same feelings you are having now. Used to go crazy feeling cooped up and alone.

What did I do this time?Well if I felt in any danger I would get a hot drink, get under the duvet and watch iplayer - anything from soaps(which are the best) to documentaries and let myself go to sleep. If I woke I'd put something else on until I nodded off again.

Really worked for me and I didn't feel alone because I had whatever I was 'watching' jabbering away.

[patrice]

my dillema

Hi Bugz I so empathise with the 'boredom' issue.. it can be such a big trigger and was always a reason why i haven't manage to start not drinking...I would have one drink and think ' Now I'll get onto all that daily life stuff- pay bills, sort out the house, fill in new passport forms etc but .. of course a glass would be a bottle and then there was no way I could do anything. Its great you have got to Day 10 - I commend you, ne Day 2 but what I have found is making a wee list and then just doing what I thought I could without putting pressure on myself to do it all in one day..
And yes I agree with woy woy, a good long book that is possible to finish because you don't have to now read the same page 3 times before giving up and thinking you need stronger glasses!!!

[K9Lover]

my dillema

Hi Bugz!
I can related to boredom being a trigger, because it was for me also, at the beginning. Now I find that I hardly have enough time in the day to do everything I want to do. I would suggest doing anything that keeps your mind occupied. Reading or watching movies is a good distraction. Of course you can always log on here and read, post or go into chat! We're glad to have you here, keep us posted on your progress!
K9

[bugz]

my dillema

thanks guys.... yea I do read a lot as is and do other stuff... the hard part is getting home at 1 or 2am
and have absolutely no desire to do anything since in the past all I did was drink and watch tv
or play video games.... now I do all that sober and it's a bit strange... I guess the more days
that go by the easier it will get.

I also made this huge list for myself to give myself reason why not to drink, I think the biggest
motivator is the health and money.... in just 10 days that saved me roughly 150$ lol...

and now I'm on day 11

[mama bear]

my dillema

I too am a big reader Bugz.....and I love to watch movies......but 2am is kinda tough!!
Good job on 11 DAYS...everyone says it gets easier....
Day 3 for me.....

[Doggygirl]

my dillema

Bugz, I made a LOOONG list of things to do. Some of it was "chore" type stuff. Some was fun stuff. Some was mundane stuff - but good reminders such as "go for a walk." Some was new fun stuff to try.

The nice thing about having a looong list is that when I would get a crazy urge, I could easily whip that list out and just pick something. I didn't have to really "think" during a difficult moment.

Like K9, I didn't know WHAT to do with myself at first and now I have a very busy and full alcohol free life. The important part is to NOT DRINK long enough to begin making other changes.

Boredom did not cause my drinking. Drinking caused my boredom.

I am not deprived of anything by not drinking. Drinking deprived me of REAL living.

Gotta change the stinkin' thinkin'.

DG

[bugz]

my dillema

Doggygirl;888764 wrote: Bugz, I made a LOOONG list of things to do. Some of it was "chore" type stuff. Some was fun stuff. Some was mundane stuff - but good reminders such as "go for a walk." Some was new fun stuff to try.

The nice thing about having a looong list is that when I would get a crazy urge, I could easily whip that list out and just pick something. I didn't have to really "think" during a difficult moment.

Like K9, I didn't know WHAT to do with myself at first and now I have a very busy and full alcohol free life. The important part is to NOT DRINK long enough to begin making other changes.

Boredom did not cause my drinking. Drinking caused my boredom.

I am not deprived of anything by not drinking. Drinking deprived me of REAL living.

Gotta change the stinkin' thinkin'.

DG

those are some very good points by the way...


I now made a huge list of things to read over and over again when I get the urge
I look at it several times a day and so far it helps.

I have this list on my phone lol and it helps to have it there...

1) it leads nowhere
2) you can change!
3) you can live without it!
4) if I drink then stop I can't sleep so I have to continue to drink!
5) I don't want to go thru withdrawals again!
6) It saves me a lot of money!
7) don't let your old friends influence you! ( I basically have to make new friends)

each day this list grows for me and reading it over and over again helps so far

[K9Lover]

my dillema

Hi Bugz,
Great job on making that list, it will help you when you feel a craving. Keep up your strong positive attitude and it will get easier. Let us know how you are!
K9

[Doggygirl]

my dillema

bugz, as far as distracting yourself from an immediate urge, research has shown that "active" things are more effective than "passive" things. Going for a walk is more likely to distract you from the urge than reading a book or watching TV, as an example. Doing ANYTHING is better than just focusing on the urge however. Just thought I would share that in case in helps you in your choices when you need to distract yourself.

DG