Does Everyone Have to Stop?

[OldSoul]

Hello --

I am checking all this out because I have been rather unhappy the last 'time' in my life and I drink a little most days. I believe 'my issues' are before the drinking and are why the drinking happens. But I can't seem to resolve the issues. Does that mean I have to stop? Does everyone here stop? Do people here believe everyone should stop...at leasst for a time?

Just curious....

)

OldSoul

[Doggygirl]

Does Everyone Have to Stop?

:welcome: It seems that a very high percentage of us have to stop as we simply cannot control our alcohol consumption. I am one of those. For the smaller percentage who have been successful at attaining true moderate drinking, many suggest stopping for a time to really evaluate your relationship with alcohol and also to see how it goes without.

Have you read the My Way Out book? You can download it from the health store. That is a really good place to start in addition to reading reading reading a lot on the forum. Most of the people attempting moderate drinking or successful at moderate drinking post in the "Long Term Moderation" section of the forum so make sure you read and post in that section too.

Whatever caused us to drink might or might not have to do with why we drink today. In my case, feeling like I didn't fit in, etc. fueled my drinking in the very early days. But in the later stages, I drank alcoholically because I'm an alcoholic. But it took me a lot of sould searching to figure that out.

One thing that's for sure, people here will be able to relate to you. You are not alone.

All the best to you on your journey,

DG

[Guest]

Does Everyone Have to Stop?

G'day Old Soul. What we have here is the chicken and the egg scenario.
It is understandable that the AL can work as a stop-gap measure but then, after a while, it only adds to the problem because it reduces the capacity to deal with the original cause.
Therefore you end up with a bad chicken and a bad egg.
It is commonly agreed here, I think, that the very first step is to go AF for 30 days.
That at least reduces the problem, and makes it easier to understand and deal with.

I've only been here a month and had some excellent results. I recommend that you take the time to read as many posts as you can. You will find echoes that relate to you personally. Then start asking questions as you are now.

The advice you will get is genuine...we are all in the same boat and all ready to help each other. A victory for one is a victory for all.
Welcome aboard.

[KateH1]

Does Everyone Have to Stop?

Hi Old Soul, and Welcome to MWO! Doggygirl gave you some great insight. I too think that reading the My Way Out book is the very best beginning for everyone that comes here. The book strongly suggests at least 30 alcohol free before attempting moderating. The 30 day period serves a lot of purpose, one, it helps to get alcohol completely out of your system. Two, your head does begin to clear, and I do mean BEGINS to Clear. Also you can see how dependent you are on alcohol.

As to the "Issues" in you life, this is like "What comes first, the chicken or the egg". I truly believe that deleating alcohol is crucial to resolving life issues. As long as we can "escape" into the numbness of AL we use this out, instead of learning solid coping skills. The fact is that most of us here will admit that we began abusing alcohol due to some sort of life issues and discomfort. The thing is, alcohol never resolves our problems, in fact, alcohol usually makes things worse.

Best Wishes on Your Journey!
KateH

[Cinders]

Does Everyone Have to Stop?

OldSoul,

I, too, am one who cannot drink.

There are others in the Monthly Moderation forum who have been moderating, and many of them successfully.

It depends on whether you are truly an alcoholic or not. Only you can figure that one out.

An alcoholic cannot drink just one or two drinks, that is sheer hell to us, worse than not drinking any.

A person who is abusing alcohol can eventually get back to "normal" levels of consumption. And, it is not sheer hell for them to do so.

At least that is the way I look at it.

If I take one drink, there is no stopping there at all.

Read the book, peruse the posts, some recommend a 30 day abstinence period as a start. If you can easily do that and then start drinking again in moderation, you are not an alcoholic.

If you can't, you might want to consider your options. There aren't many. Really two. Keep drinking and accept the inevitable consequences of that or quit.

btw, :welcome:, and I hope you are successful at kicking the Beast to the curb.

Cindi

[OldSoul]

Does Everyone Have to Stop?

Wow.....am amazed at the rapid-fire responses - thanks.

Chicken/Egg - darn, that's an old dilemma.

I will find 'the book', and read through and keep in touch here - seems some possibilities.

Thanks and Bon Nuit,

OldSoul

[bugz]

Does Everyone Have to Stop?

from my experience and it's a long drinking career lol...... you drink some today next month a little
more next year even more and before you know it you get to the point where you can finish a 750ml
bottle of rye straight and the next day you buy another 750ml bottle or you try to tone it down and you
can't... and you realize you become to dependent on it that you get to the point where you're no
longer a functioning alcoholic but barely making it day to day by simply poisoning yourself each
day.

it's a vicious cycle

[Ringing Cedars]

Does Everyone Have to Stop?

Hi OldSoul. You've come to a place with a wealth of information and support. All the best!:welcome:

[wannachange]

Does Everyone Have to Stop?

Sure stop, no harm in stopping anyhow and if ya can't sure then you know there's something wrong.
Welcome and lovely to meet ya!

[greeneyes]

Does Everyone Have to Stop?

I have no advice to add at the moment oldsoul, but I just wanted to extend a hand and say welcome! I'm one of the ones that can't drink.

[Guest]

Does Everyone Have to Stop?

That's up to you but most with drinking problems find stopping to be easier than moderation. Many of us thought perhaps we could have a go, that we were fixed. I've tried modding and I always ended up drinking more. What they say in AA is go and try it. However to learn to deal with life you generally need to be sober for a while hence the 30 days.

[sk8punk]

Does Everyone Have to Stop?

Like everyone else said depends on the person. I tried moderation and it didn't work. I can't have 1 or 2 drinks like most people. That 1 or 2 always lead to 6 or 12 more. There would be days I would be drinking and say to myself "I don't even want this" but I wouldn't stop. I'm sure that's a sign of a problem.

[OldSoul]

Does Everyone Have to Stop?

Thank you all so much...for just even thinking and sharing on this thread...warms me up a bit

[patrice]

Does Everyone Have to Stop?

Welcome oldsoul, I am quite new myself although I joined over 6 months ago until finally 4 days I took the advice of everyone here and have decided on 30 days AF.. and thatt will give me more idea on my drinking issues... And strangely, the last 4 days have not been as difficult as the last 6 months (I'm for sure not saying its easy though!!). But for the last 6 months I have said to myself I'll just have 2 glasses of wine, I had the 2 glasses, put the bottle back in the fridge or cupboard only to go back 5 minutes later and say ' oh I'll just have one more'.. this pattern was repeated night after night and beame so soul destroying.. saying the same thing daily only to do the opposite nightly... I began to feel like that hamster on the wheel. Today I just say today and that is helping SUCH a lot at this early stage.
Plus all the invaluable insight and advice and thoughts from people here..