Hi Seila!:welcome: Hope your night is going well.
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Scared Out of My Mind
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Scared Out of My Mind
I've had a great week and my mom has been here all week to help me get my life back on track. She's chosen to stay indefinitely until I've got a good plan in place and some stability around me. So, it is amazing the support you can find when you ask. I'm still shocked that I actually fessed up and when you tell your family you leave no backing out. So, while I'm nervous about the future I found meetings for AA, saw my previous counselor for a treatment recommendation/program/counselor and that's all underway. Friday night was a bit of a temptation but I made it through. I wonder what I would have been like if I hadn't had all the support. That is what still scares me silly. Can I actually do this?
I wish everyone a great weekend and hopefully a sober one! So far so good with 7 days and counting.
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Scared Out of My Mind
Great work Seila!
And yes, you can do this, and you are doing it right now. Congratulations on day 7! That is a huge accomplishment. Don't forget to read the 'Toolbox' thread in the 'monthly abstinence' section.
Best wishes, and go for it!
'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'
Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-
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Scared Out of My Mind
Yes - congratulations! "Doing this" is not so overwhelming if we just take it easy, and take it one day at a time. You did it today so that proves you can do it again when you wake up to the new day.
DGSobriety Date = 5/22/08
Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07
One day at a time.
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Scared Out of My Mind
Hey selia1, Chicago girls are tough. If things get tight just fight back harder. Here's a Chicago quote.
'One of theirs pulls a knife and puts one of yours in hospital? You pull a gun and put one of theirs in the morgue. This is Chicago.'
Dig deep, the strength is there.
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Scared Out of My Mind
Selia, I really want to acknowledge the courage you have shown in reaching out for help. I thought on many occasions I was doing that when in fact I was being very manipulative without realising it.
I'd like to tell you that I'm a sensitive, loving and caring man with many great qualities. But what I don't want you to know about me at the same time is that I'm insecure, I feel worthless at times, evil, I get angry, I can be judgmental, I lack confidence and self esteem, I get lonely and scared. I didn't want to accept these things about me because I didn't want people to think I was weak. So I tried to play out the romanticised perfect life and be who I thought I should be. I wasn't true to my authentic self. We all feel these things at times in our lives, we wouldn't be human if we didn't. So denying these things was what kept me blocked and I tried to control everything in my life so people didn't know the real me.
Reaching out the way you have is the first step in allowing yourself to become vulnerable. From here you can start to make steps forward by remaining transparent and allowing those you trust to help you make healthier choices in your life. It's very easy to put up all the blocks and walls again once you've made that first step. Keep being courageous and be honest with yourself first and foremost.
Congratulations on your first week off the drink!!! Well done.
Many Blessings
Phil"Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
Clean and sober 25th January 2009
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Scared Out of My Mind
seila 1,you no theres always a thread that pops out and makes you think,your doin great,just realising you hav a problem is an accomplishment, beleive it or not you actually have to get selfish,sobrietry is about you,as you go thro your journey youll lern that,AA is a great starting point,i for one think my saviour was treatment,depending on where u go,some think its a holiday,i think it is your last resort,AA and treatment dont stop you from drinking,there just aother alternative,whenyou get your base,and have a better understanding,youll find that your in charge of your own destiny,my tht for the day,and most of all,like doggy says,one day at a time, i wish you well gyco ps i went to a place called homewood,guelph ont. canada,one of the best facilities in the world,will give you a hole different perspective on life,and it is second to none,comparable to betty ford
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