WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

[girlfriend]

WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

I can grab a healthy goal that pulls me forward and causes me to put the long time not rock bottom but uncontrolled drinking wine etc. aside but I know that I don't control it and it controls me and I'm also aware that it most definitely is a progressive disease but sometimes knowing and alternate goal setting isn't enough. How do you sustain this over time while living in a world where mild to moderate to hidden extreme addictions are socially acceptable and even encouraged? I don't want to you, me or anyone to live a mediocre life. How do we lead and stay strong in this scenario? What can become more important than the collective shadow??? Anyone??:new:

[Justforme]

WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

I haven't yet read through all the responses to your questions (because there are soooo many!) but just wanted to say that I had to laugh when I read about your 'eyeing up what was left in the bottle and making sure you got your fair share'. God I just saw myself, except I was eyeing up not wanting to share!!
I've been going pretty well. AF since May 1 apart from a glass of bubbles with husband last week in celebration mode and I was able to say that he could have the rest - he looked stunned at that. At the supermarket today I put two bottles into my trundler. I have not had a problem until today completely avoiding the alcohol aisle but today I just slung a couple in as I went past. Spooky! I told myself on the way home that it would be a good test to see if I could have wine in the house without succumbing. My goal is to be able to have 1 or 2 glasses but only when I am out - none during the week or kept in the house. If I find that I can't do this I'm happy enough without alcohol in my life to say that I will just have to be AF free and that's that. It does feel really great however to be able to be in the position I am in now, AF for a good number of weeks. I just have to see how disciplined I can be.
Funny how so many of the responses you have got start with something along the lines of 'you could be telling my story'. I guess that really, it is just the same old book isn't it. You will get a great deal out of staying close to this forum.x

[Justforme]

WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

Hmmm, reading back on what I've typed, I see that I have already fallen down on my goal ... ie, not to have wine in the house. It is just so bloody easy to slide back, isn't it?

[Funny Girl]

WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

funny how that happens . . . . ;-) Insidious stuff this is, isn't it? Good thread . . . .

[dancingon]

WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

Hi Tip
I'm 49, and I never had a problem until a few years ago, although I can look back and see how various things made it more acceptable for me to drink. I used to be able to have an occasional drink, or one or two glasses of wine and be quite happy, but no more. It creeps up quietly!
I progressed during an unhappy period in my life to a bottle a night, by myself. It is so hard once you have got to that stage to go back to a glass or two. I can remember at one stage starting a bottle before my hub came home for dinner, and hiding it so that we could open our bottle and then I still had some left for later.
I now realise and admit I have a problem I can't fix by cutting back. Going AF is both simple and the hardest thing you'll do, but the best.

[bkyogagurl]

WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

sorry so long little bit of a vent

Can I just say that "I absolutely LOVE all for posting and sharing. It makes me feel human.

I actually was so grouchy last night with my husband because he is sort of the reason I started drinking heavily again and he feels really bad about it. He and I know I have a predisposition to alcoholism and probably have that gene the book talks about. Both my parents are addicts. I have struggled through out my life since I was a teen with alcohol. After getting married, I had moments but would always back off after one bad occasion. My husband used to be terribly controlling and a micro manager of my kids and I. I was doing so well running and doing yoga as a release for my mind. Only drinking 3-4 drinks a week~ unbelieveable... for me. Then he didn't like me spending time exercising cause he felt it took time away from the family, controlled what I cooked (I love to bake), who I spent time with if any(my friends are my family because my parents aren't in my life). That's it.... that's when I plunged into a sea of alcohol. And of course, after a while he did ask me to quit drinking and that's when I snapped. I told him he had taken away everything else I love so I am not going to even consider quitting much less cutting back on drinking. I asked him for a divorce.
But since then we have had a lot of drunk late night talks that have actually brought us together. He did a complete turn around, read a life altering book and here we are working on things. He knows that he was partly responsible, I'm not trying to put blame. Sometimes I get mad cause I feel like he is too.
Since a whole yesterday when I joined this board.... its like therapy already. We are going on a week long camping trip starting this weekend and I know I will drink we will just have to see how much. I feel strong. What's nice is you don't have to be perfect here to be accepted.
:thanks: Tip for starting this you want to know something... I have wine for my husband(his bottle) and my wine(my bottle) separate and always have extra on hand.

[K9Lover]

WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

franziasgone;893340 wrote:
I wish I could bottle the attitude and ambition I have at 10 in the morning and save it for evening.

I don't know if you are familiar with Antabuse or not, but basically it is a medication you take that will result in very bad consequences when mixed with alcohol. If you take it in the morning, your decision for the day is made....

[franziasgone]

WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

Yes K~
have heard of antabuse.......have to get it from a physician though right?
Can you order it from some of these pharmacies abroad? Do you know?

[techie]

WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

franziasgone;893893 wrote: Yes K~
have heard of antabuse.......have to get it from a physician though right?
Can you order it from some of these pharmacies abroad? Do you know?

Buy Antabuse (Disulfiram) Online Now

[Funny Girl]

WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

Just know that if you drink after taking the antabuse you can get very sick - and I mean VERY sick . . . you absolutely cannot 'slip' up if you choose to go that route or it can be devastating . . . .be careful.

[techie]

WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

Right FG that is ALL the medication is designed for, so VERY GOOD ADVICE!

[franziasgone]

WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

Thanks guys~
I will think about it and be very aware if I do decide to use it.
I'm almost to that point........my willpower is useless.

[Tipplerette]

WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

After the damn earthquake we had yesterday and us being only a few miles from the epicentre it was a great excuse for a bottle of wine - from the restaurant no less at 13% alcohol. So there went that. Thanks girls for your honesty especially about your human weakness. i don't feel like quite the loser. We are going camping this weekend and for a month long camping trip this summer and camping = drinking ... at least in this part of the world. Can't wait for the supps to arrive. Control, control, control. Do you know that this morning while lying in bed i had to ask my hubby what we did when we got home from the restaurant. I drew a complete blank. Not proud of that.

[Tipplerette]

WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

franziasgone;893340 wrote: A baby girl! Wow!

My oldest son is 29 and has a great potential of becoming an alcoholic. He has had a DUI, lost his driver's license for a year and spent one night in jail. This was about 5 years ago and he NEVER drinks and drives now. However ~ I have been told by his younger brother that he has passed out at parties and vomited after drinking with buddies.......so I know he has a problem. My youngest son who is 25 drinks but never out of control like his brother.

I am ashamed to say I have again chosen to drink wine tonight. It is 7:30 and I'm on my third glass. I wish I could bottle the attitude and ambition I have at 10 in the morning and save it for evening. What is it? Why does it happen? Why do we do this??

Maybe reading this tomorrow will help........God I hope so.

Hey Franz, your oldest son's experience is exactly my second oldest son's experience including the other son reporting that he passes out and I even got a call that they found his hat, flip-flops and cell phone in a park. I was frantic cos i could not reach him. He is the sweetest guy and was the easiest of the three kids to raise.

Don't beat yourself up too much about last night. I did the same using the earthquake (we are in Quebec, Canada close to the Ontario border) as an excuse. Scared the crap out of me and I was dying for a drink last night and had half a bottle. Let's try to be strong together.

[franziasgone]

WANTED- MIDDLE AGED FEMALE WINE DRINKER

I think I have a twin

Tipp~
We have a cabin in Prescott, up North from Phoenix in the pines. Lovely place we adore.
There is no possible way for us to go without drinking.........