Hello and a little about me

[bkyogagurl]

Hello...
Ok so I would love to become part of this support because I too need it. I like beer and wine and wish I could say that I only had a half bottle. I can drink two whole bottles in the one night. I love lite beer and can drink a lot of it. I have an extremely addictive past. My mom is a recovery IV drug user and my dad is an alcoholic. I have fought my addiction for a long time. I am married (11 yrs) with 3 wonderful boys. My husband and I just about divorced at the beginning of this year and surprising NOT due to alcohol. My husband was severely controlling with the kids and I. He needed some help himself which has turned him into a wonderful father and husband but the years of his oppression wore on me and I drank alot to escape it. Its a long story and would love to share in parts but feel it would to long for a first time post. I am decided which vitamin program to order and am downloading the book. I am looking forward to supporting and being supported.
:thanks::new:

[rebirth]

Hello and a little about me

Hi bkyogagurl,
Welcome to the site! I am a 39 year old single mum with a five year boy. I am self employed and on the outside I look like I have everything under control. I dont! I have been a heavy drinker for nearly 15 years...each year getting worse, each year more blackouts. I never wanted to admit that I am an alcoholic but I admit that i am. I have to drink a bottle of wine on a daily basis. Weekends would be more. Most of the time i would be okay, other times I would be drunk or black out. Drink just brings me misery.
I have not had a drink for 19 days. Its been difficult but soooo worth the battle. I hope you stay. We are all in the same boat. The support on this forum is wonderful. x

[bkyogagurl]

Hello and a little about me

thanks for your reply Rebirth and congratulations on your 19 days!!!
:goodjob:

It sounds like we have a bit in common and I have to take the steps to start my journey. I know this might sound like a cop out but I would really like to be able to just have 1-2 drinks socially instead of quitting totally. I don't know if it will work or not but that is my start.
Keep up your good work.

[mario]

Hello and a little about me

hi ya & welcome bkyogagurl and you to rebirth,
This is a great community here with lots of great support and advice,post your thoughts and feelings here as much as you can and you will see that you are not alone,We are all in this together and we can all beat this together,goodluck and hope to see you around,.Don'T quit quitting.

[mario]

Hello and a little about me

There are 2 days in every week about which we should not worry........2 days which should be kept free from FEAR & APPREHENSION,One of these days is yesterday,with all its mistakes & cares,its faults & blunders & its aches & pains.
YESTERDAY has passed forever beyond our control,All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.we cannot undo a single act performed.We cannot erase a single word said....Yesterday is gone
The other day we should not worry about is TOMORROW.
Tomorrow is beyond our control,it has not arrived......yet. Tomorrow,s sun will raise,whether in splendour or behind a mask of clouds.but it will rise.until it does,we have no stake in tomorrow.This leaves only one day........TODAY. Anyone can fight the battles of just one-day. It is when you add the burdens of those awfull two days together......yesterday & tomorrow.....that we break down.........
Let us therefore live one day at a time


hope this helps :-)

[K9Lover]

Hello and a little about me

Welcome Bkyogagurl!
You've found a great community full of support and encouragement. I've never been a wine drinker, but boy could I put away the Lite Beer...12 cans per night was the norm, 14 on a really bad day. I know it's not easy to quit, or cut down (for me I cannot moderate, it's all or nothing!), but you've made a first great step by posting on here. Keep reading, there are a lot of great inspirational stories...and keep posting, we'd love to hear more about you and get to know you through your journey. I am glad you're here!
K9

[Tipplerette]

Hello and a little about me

Hey Bkygargurl, welcome and thanks for replying to my thread earlier. I know what you mean about wanting to moderate. From what I've read here is near impossible. You know, I hate the taste of alcohol free wine but I love a virgin caesar with all the fixings. I was thinking that for this weekend's camping trip that's what I might try and my friends will think I am boozing it up and not pester me to just have one. That's something you may like to try. I just purchased the $129 package ($169 because I am Canadian) of supps and if you can afford it it's a good place to start. The book is great too.

[rebirth]

Hello and a little about me

Hi Bkygargurl (Hey Mario- What thought provoking words. Really beautiful!),
I tried to control my alcohol for about a year and a half.I certainly did NOT want to live life without it. Dreaded the thought! I was certain that it was just a reflection of poor willpower that made me drink like a drunk. I would manage at the most four days in a row during the week..but that was rare. Most of the time I managed a day or two, then back to my daily drinking as it was triggered by a lovely day, a bad day . Any excuse to break it! At the end of the day I just knew that once I drank I could not stop. And that got me into alot of trouble. I was okay when I drank at home because I always made sure I only had one bottle in the fridge, but if I went out and there was plenty to drink..I would make a total idiot of myself. I cringe just thinking about it. I just knew that it was all or nothing for me and I accept now that I have to stop drinking. I am actuelly ready to stop...just worried about the cravings etc I will experience. But so far so good. I havnt caved in! I still cant believe it myself!!!
I think its a good start to control your intake and then take it from there. x

[bkyogagurl]

Hello and a little about me

thank you everyone.... it is so nice to have a support right away.

Its really inspiring to have people open up. I am going to the health food store to get the Kudzu & a few other misc. vitamins mentioned on here so I can get started right way. We have our annual camping trip coming up this weekend (goes for a week) and I want to be prepared as much as I can. All of our friends drink. I am going to start reading the book today too. I just want to be a better role model for my children and spend more time playing with them and NOT sitting and drinking.

All your words of encouragement will be in mind and I will be checking as much as I can.

thank you thank you thank you for being here.

[not tonight]

Hello and a little about me

HI bkyogagurl -
I too was a wine drinker! I could drink a bottle by myself while making diner (hide the empty in the recycling bottle and send my husband out for a bottle to go with diner, pretending it was my first). I joined MWO in early May and haven't looked back since. Prior to joining I could not imagine going thorough the rest of my life without wine, now, with over a month under my belt I am doing things everyday that I could not do with a hangover or in the bottle, and I am loving it! This site is fabulous!!!! So welcome, welcome, welcome!

[Justforme]

Hello and a little about me

Hi from me too Kkyogagurl. A bottle of wine a night for me too. I began my AF journey on 1st May and like a lot of other people here, never ever thought I could go without it. But I just got to a point one night when I thought enough! When I try now to remember what it was that actually made me go through with it this time, I think it was catching the look on my husband's face a few hours after dinner was over one night as I filled (to the top) my wine glass and made to go and lie back on the lounge with it. It was an awful look, something like, disgust, despair and ambivilence all jumbled in together. I still drank that glass of wine but I couldn't get that look on his face out of my head. It was very hard stopping, but I do feel really proud of myself and more importantly, like myself for being a strong person. My ten year old loves me for it. I could not have got through those first couple of weeks without the support of all the really good people on this forum. Stay close. You will be just fine. x

[rebirth]

Hello and a little about me

Justforme - I relate to your story about this awful look... My partner and I were arguing over the amount I was drinking a particular weekend. He was pleading me to stop and I retaliated by telling him that he has no right to control me and proceeded to open another wine bottle, poured a glass of wine in front of him and started drinking ( never mind that I blacked out the night before from drinking).Jeez..the madness of it all. I will never forget the look from my partner's face while I drank that wine..disgust, despair,pity, disapointment,sadness, anger, frustration. He said " You are an alcoholic and you will die from it. Please don't do this to me". There was no hope in his voice and he looked suddenly very sad.
Well that was the moment I lost the compulsion to drink. Something snapped and I suddenly could not drink my wine. I suddenly felt stupid holding that glass of wine. I stopped drinking the next day but this time without any intention of slipping. I became angry towards alcohol. Its been 20 days so far. Life is better. x

[bkyogagurl]

Hello and a little about me

Justforme & Rebirth~ my husband doesn't look at me disgusted anymore he just wonders if I drink so I can stay with him... here is something I posted on another thread:

I actually was so grouchy last night with my husband because he is sort of the reason I started drinking heavily again and he feels really bad about it. He and I know I have a predisposition to alcoholism and probably have that gene the book talks about. Both my parents are addicts. I have struggled through out my life since I was a teen with alcohol. After getting married, I had moments but would always back off after one bad occasion. My husband used to be terribly controlling and a micro manager of my kids and I. I was doing so well running and doing yoga as a release for my mind. Only drinking 3-4 drinks a week~ unbelieveable... for me. Then he didn't like me spending time exercising cause he felt it took time away from the family, controlled what I cooked (I love to bake), who I spent time with if any(my friends are my family because my parents aren't in my life). That's it.... that's when I plunged into a sea of alcohol. And of course, after a while he did ask me to quit drinking and that's when I snapped. I told him he had taken away everything else I love so I am not going to even consider quitting much less cutting back on drinking. I asked him for a divorce. He asked me to stay and work on things.
But since then we have had a lot of drunk late night talks that have actually brought us together. He did a complete turn around, read a life altering book and here we are working on things. He knows that he was partly responsible, I'm not trying to put blame. Sometimes I get mad cause I feel like he is too.
Since a whole yesterday when I joined this board.... its like therapy already. We are going on a week long camping trip starting this weekend and I know I will drink we will just have to see how much. I feel strong. What's nice is you don't have to be perfect here to be accepted.

[hillsidetime]

Hello and a little about me

Hi byyogagirl and welcome. I am a 37 father of two, married. My wife went through about 4 years of pp depression as our children were born, - I drank more and more - relationship was strained to the max. I hit rock bottom, and with the help of people here, quite drinking. From what you say, it sounds like addictive personality is in your genes, and it also sounds like you are ready to stop drinking. You can do it. Like Mario is saying, one day at a time, today. All the best to you. It is hard work, but it is worth all of it. All the best,
Hill