Talk

[(E)]

I'm new here. I have a drinking problem and the worst part of it all is that I'm sitting across from my wife right now, I've been drinking all night and I dont feel like I can talk to her. I've battled with depression for quite a while, she knows about that, but I cant really talk with her about that either. Every time it comes up she gets weird, and I dont blame her I have a very close friend that killed himself earlier this year, and I think shes afraid that I'll do something like that. But I wont! I dont want to! I just need someone to talk to, to help me work out some things, and help me get off alcohol. Can anyone help? Thanks!

[spacie]

Talk

Hello E,
You might want to read the thread under "first time here FAQ" that might help you get started. Next download the book and read it too, there are a lot of tools on the boards. I can't offer any advice about talking with your wife, but for me talking about my problem when I was drinking wasn't a good idea.

spacie

[(E)]

Talk

Thanks Spacie I'll check out the FAQ page.

[mojomuppet]

Talk

E how are you doing today?

[lushy]

Talk

E, I hope today is finding you better and I am glad you found our site. Many of us have the same issue as you; that our partner is wired very differently from us and cannot even begin to relate to what we are going through. I hope you will find this board a source of comfort for you. Keep us posted.

[(E)]

Talk

I would like to express my thanks to all of you who have responded to my post. Thank you very much!

[(E)]

Talk

Today I'm doing ok. I'm not sure if any of you are going through this or not, but it seams like I'm constantly struggling almost every moment at times with the choice of whether or not to drink. I feel like I've made progress at times, but for the most part I feel like I'm just treading water. I've been able to stay sober for up to a week at times, but I just cant get past that. Does anyone have any suggestions for getting over the hump?

[lushy]

Talk

read the book, take the supplements and try and create a new routine during when you would normally drink. It can be difficult but it can be done. We need to get our brains used to not getting "fed" with alcohol. If you go through and read some earlier posts around here you will see it is a big struggle for many of us at first but then we find new things to do with our time. I, for one, am going to learn to play my piano and my guitar; things to keep my hands busy and not easy to keep reaching for a drink. GOod luck. YOu can do it.

[dilayne]

Talk

Hi (E),
I wanted to say that I agree with Kate that your wife may first need to know that you are seeking some help with the drinking..you are probably correct that she is scared. I do know that my husband is just learning to trust that I actually DO want him to talk to me about things, including his fears and concerns..I know what you mean about her maybe getting weird, she may very well be reacting from fear...you may start by trying to talk to her about some other things that are deeper and more intimate than you are used to..help her to feel comfortable in that space..once you both can get to that place, you both will feel more comfortable about talking about the more scary things? Does that make sense? If you haven't been communicating deeply about other things, it's really hard to communicate about the scary thing...you may start out with letting her know that you don't expect her to have any answers or to do anything, but that you just want her to be there for you...and to listen..that you need to talk it out..she will probably understand this and be relieved that she doesn't have to come up with a 'fix'. This journey will be much more meaningful to both of you if you can do it together...Maybe to start, you can simply share with her what you are experiencing here..what you are reading, what someone says..that will help her open her heart to join you in your recovery. Good luck and Namaste!

[sober reality]

Talk

Ready to make a change!

Hi there. This is my first visit. I've searched the web for hours - hoping to find help. Nothing ever compelled me till I found"My Way Out". Ready to make a change. It's been difficult to say the least. Totally convinced myself I didnt have a problem - I can stop drinking any time I choose - right? I have two boys who have never said anything but I know in my heart they're worried. Cant seem to just have a glass or two - it's never enough. I just want to be soberand find the clarity that was once there - but cant get it together to make it happen. HELP!!!

[Sunbeam]

Talk

There is usually someone in the chat room here to talk to. Not that it's the same as a live person, but you could at least talk about alcohol-related issues. Your spouse probably doesn't have a clue about how to discuss what my husband called "your problem".

[cumbye]

Talk

Hi E,your lucky you still got your wife,my drinking has lost me two and several girlfriends,all lovely people..work at it......

[HealerHealing]

Talk

hi

ever try writing a letter to her? sometimes it takes the pressure off the person about how to respond

[lil.michelle]

Talk

Hey!!!
I have been suffering from depression since i was 13, i'm now 24. To top it off i now have postnatal depression which is sooo hard. I too have a drinking problem. Drinking gives us a high for the first hour but unfortunatly is a HUGE depressant so after that high, you hit rock bottom. Have you spoken to you doctor? My doctor put me on different depressants to give me a calming effect as i need the drink to relax and use it an escape from my depression.
I know living with depression is really hard, it really grabs hold and it takes for ever to kick, if at all we can ever get rid of it and then if we do, it can come back at any time.
If you ever want to talk, i'm always here!

[1967]

Talk

wow...

Hi E... how goes it? it seems u've gotten some pretty good advice here as well.
i find u a prolific writer as i could picture u sitting on ur machine writing ur message w/ ur wife nearby; but the two of you worlds apart. Giving up the AL is very difficult, agreed. It sounds like you are getting to a place where you are ready for this to happen. This site has given me a lot of perspective. Stick around!