I am a trainwreck!

[taw]

Day 1 AGAIN!!! I am so sick of myself!

[mama bear]

I am a trainwreck!

i feel the same way about myself sometimes taw....stay here with us and we will get through this.....

[K9Lover]

I am a trainwreck!

Hang in there Taw. Did anything in particular happen that made you drink? Maybe something that you can learn from and avoid next time? The main thing is to not beat yourself up, that's a waste of time and will get you nowhere. Just start from this minute on and try again. That's all any of us can do. Please try to stay focused. You CAN do this, and we're here to help.
Sending good thoughts your way!
K9

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

I was bored! It was my furlough day and I was just bored and depressed!

[KateH1]

I am a trainwreck!

Hi Taw,
Day 1 can really suck, but Day 1 after Day 1 sucks pretty bad! I know, I had many, many of them! But, I can tell you this, once you decide tht you are Really, Really Done with drinking and Truly Want to live a Sober Life, you will only have One Day One Again!

I think the biggest obstacle to going AF is Our Own Thinking.....knowingly or not, we leave a space for AL to come back into our lives. As long as that space is there, it is guaranteed that we will drink. We hear this all the time....."I was so hurt that I drank".....I was so angry, that I Drank......I deserved to celebrate, so I drank.......I was bored so I drank........this list is endless! Ask yourself, what your list looks like, where have you left the door open for AL? How many doors do you need to Close, Lock and Bolt, in order to become Alcohol Free?

I hope this helps!
Kate

[tlrgs]

I am a trainwreck!

well dont beat yourself up .. and so glad you are back and that what counts onward and forward let go and just do your best but one day at a time .. and just believe inyourself and you can do anything you set your mind too

[K9Lover]

I am a trainwreck!

Hi Taw!
I have furlough days too, and believe me, they were always an excuse for me to really tie one on (no work tomorrow...etc, etc). And boredom was a huge trigger for me too. But since I've stopped drinking, I have noticed how much there is to do! You also mentioned you were depressed, alcohol only intesifies that feeling. Do you have a plan for getting through today?

[techie]

I am a trainwreck!

Hi Taw - Go do this thing. Many of us have had the "groundhog day" syndrome. Kate's post nailed it. Listen to what she said. Best of luck, and I'll hear from you on day two tomorrow!

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

I am going to go home and pour out all the bottles!! and if I have to sit on my hands to keep from going out so be it! I need to do this!

[Doggygirl]

I am a trainwreck!

Taw, just wanted to say that I applaud your efforts. I too like Kate's message and it was that way for me. YEARS of saying "I won't drink today.." and then drinking. Often before noon. I know how frustrating that is. I too left the door open a crack even when I didn't realize I was doing it.

Have you written down your sobriety plan? Is there something you can change from what you've BEEN doing to make sure you have a shot at a different outcome this time?

I have learned a lot about myself on this journey. One thing is that boredom didn't make me drink. Drinking caused my boredom. I STOPPED LIVING. Stopped doing anything else but drink every moment I could.

I encourage you to plan your days in detail. Plan some fun things to do when you have time for yourself. Things you haven't done in a long time because you've been busy drinking. Don't leave things to chance. Have a plan.

DG

[K9Lover]

I am a trainwreck!

Doggygirl;894341 wrote:
I encourage you to plan your days in detail. Plan some fun things to do when you have time for yourself. Things you haven't done in a long time because you've been busy drinking. Don't leave things to chance. Have a plan.
DG

Taw,
DG has hit the nail on the head with this one. When I first quit, I planned every MINUTE of the day. I would write down when I would eat, when I would shower, when I would just be watching TV. Sticking to the schedule got me through the toughest days (which are only a few at the beginning). I felt kinda stupid doing it, but nobody had to know. Make a plan, and stick to it no matter how silly you feel doing it. It will work. And it will be worth it.
K9

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

I tend to have way too much time on my hands....get bored easily....no hobbies, and when my son is with his dad it is even worse! I just moved and don't really know anyone.....I need to do this for myself and my son! No more excuses! Thank you all for being here for me today!

[hart]

I am a trainwreck!

Taw there is chat too. My most tempting time is when my hubby isn't home and I'm home alone, Friday nites are real bad, I come here and chat sometimes. We all have been where you are.

[TakeHeart]

I am a trainwreck!

Hi Taw,

Boredom was a big issue with me. However, there really are a lot of things to do when you think about it...volunteer, take up a new hobby, go back to school for your dream job if you're currently not doing it, etc...

However, with that being said. I also have dealt with depression and realize when I'm in a dark place, nothing sounds fun, interesting or worth the effort. I currently take an herbal supp called St Johns Wort which significantly has reduced my depression. I can notice when I don't take it.

Finally, I know for me at least, when I'm drinking my options for having fun, or just getting errands done where I would feel a sense of accomplishment, are greatly diminished as I don't want to drink and drive nor engaged with people who might suspect me drinking.

Hang in there! You've got a lot of cheerleaders here!

[rebirth]

I am a trainwreck!

Doggygirl;894341 wrote:

I have learned a lot about myself on this journey. One thing is that boredom didn't make me drink. Drinking caused my boredom. I STOPPED LIVING. Stopped doing anything else but drink every moment I could.

How true is that!! Thank you for those words of wisdom. x