Saturday Night

[IanRankin]

Hi,
Just had my first AF Sat night out in the pub in years tonight. Felt alright and I joined in with the banter etc, certainly no desire to drink. I'm not saying I felt 100% comfortable or that it felt 100% natural but its a start. I feel it was necessary for me because its important for me that I can go out and socialise AF.

By being AF I am doing the right thing.

[mama bear]

Saturday Night

Good Job Ian..not sure I could have done it

[techie]

Saturday Night

Hi Ian yeah I agree it is important to be able to socialize AF. Just be mindful that you're early in your sobriety so just be careful. I'm just 43 days AF and when I walk by a pub my forehead beads with sweat. We just need to be good to ourselves and adjust to this new us. However, great job man!!!

[Doggygirl]

Saturday Night

Ian, does socializing have to occur in a pub? I am finding that there is a whole big world out there I never knew about that occurs outside of bars. I don't care to be sober in a drinking environment any more. I just don't find it fun. I'd rather do other stuff. It took time and effort to FIND other stuff and develop other interests after years of thinking life revolved around a bar stool. (which it doesn't) Congratulations on your sober time!! Guard that gift with your life.

DG

[IanRankin]

Saturday Night

Hi DG,
I agree that socialising does not need to revolve around the pub. In my circle of friends a lot of of social activity is centred around the pub so it is factor of life. However in terms of socialising this week, Ive been to the gym, out for dinner with workmates, went to a football game with friends, had lunch with family none of which involved AL. So I would consider the 2 hours I spent in the pub not to be a huge amount of time. It just happens to be a social activity that I need ( and want) to overcome AF.
However I fully appreicate what you are saying and know I have to be careful as the pub may prove perilous in terms of being AF.
I remember asking a guy who stopped drinking if he still went to the pub and he replied no because if you keep going to a barbers eventually you will get your hair cut :-)

[Doggygirl]

Saturday Night

I used to feel like "the life of the party" when drinking in a bar with "friends." But now to go sit in a bar while others are drinking just makes me realize how boring I really was. It's just not the focus of my life any more. The real friends that I am still in touch with are happy to get together and do other things. The ones where drinking was a central connection...well, we've drifted. And that's OK. Nothing wrong with them or me. My life is just different now.

There are lots of people out there who either never were big drinkers or who have stopped drinking for whatever reaason and they have full lives that don't require bars. That's what I'm shooting for in my life too.

Like your other friend, I too see bar hanging as a danger zone for relapse. Especially when I don't have any fun there sober anyway...why take the chance? I love that saying about the barber chair!

DG