25 Days and not as confident.

[bungle]

Day 25, so far so good, not so good tonight though... craving so much, I have sailed through the past 25 days but I would kill for just one ..only one! I know why I am feeling like this and it (he) is so not worth undoing all my hard work.

This is the worst feeling, the monster on my shoulder has surfaced after so long of it being gone, can I beat him , I surely hope so.::no:

[bungle]

25 Days and not as confident.

Shall I just fall of the wagon and remind myself of how crap it is? do I need to do that?

[savon19]

25 Days and not as confident.

bungle - I used that same logic after being AF for more than 2 mos. All I can tell you is that I'm now back to drinking regularly. The only good thing is that I'm not drinking much during week... but I'll overdo on weekend.

Yes, I just wanted to "remind" myself...

I really was diong fine without it... and now I'm in a place where I don't even want to try!!

.. just Sayin.

[Doggygirl]

25 Days and not as confident.

Bungle, would drinking help the situation with "him?" (my guess is NO)

My mind tried everything to get me to drink again. "We can stop again tomorrow...." "just one....." (hahahahaha) "We DESERVE a drink...." "We're cured now....."

After my first 60 days AF I drank. What a mistake. In less than a week I was right back where I left off and then some. I knew right away what a mistake it was. But I just couldn't muster the *whatever* to get back on the wagon. So for me it was EIGHT MORE MONTHS of misery, depression, hangovers, consequences, having the AL ball and chain around my ankle, etc. etc. etc.

Was that drink worth it to see if I could handle it?

Ummmm NO.

I hope you decide that being sober is your #1 priority. The rest of life for me started to get better after that, and I think it would for you too.

DG

[bungle]

25 Days and not as confident.

Thank you, thank you, I needed to hear from you , i sometimes just read on here and really do think i need to get more involved as you are all such special people, even just to keep me from doing what I know I would so regret , Savon19 thank you.. your words of wisdom have reminded me I don't need need to be reminded!!!
DG you have come up trumps for me a few times now, and i really do appreciate it, I will take on board your advice and yes being sober is my #1 priority.

[Mrs Donovan]

25 Days and not as confident.

Hey Bungle

I made it to 45 days - was starting to feel a little proud of myself for once and then I went to a family bbq and had no plan in place whatsoever and I succombed instantly without any hesitation to the first glass. I actually shocked myself at what zero resolve I seem to have, but just carried on in a kind of 'oh well, I think I deserve 1 or 2. I'll have a day off today'.

Well as they say, one drink equals a drunk, and that's what I became, horribly drunk - I didn't particularly enjoy myself at the bbq and the drinking just continued when I got home. I don't remember going to bed, I remember waking up at 4am and throwing my guts up though, and then being unable to get back to sleep and then having the hangover from HELL the next day with the need to vomit again, the return of anxiety and a tight chest and a head so splitting in pain I can't tell you.

I could just kick myself stupid for what I did and I really do regret it as I would be saying 60days AF next week, but instead I'm back to square one.

All I'm saying is - it just isn't worth it. Get that thought out of your mind it is just a small craving that will go. There is no such thing for us as 'just one drink' as you well know.

[rebirth]

25 Days and not as confident.

Hey bungle stay strong! I am 26 days AF and I have had some massive hurdles to climb. All kinds of difficult tests have been thrown at me in the past 26 days but I much prefere my sober life than to the life I had as a drunk. I DESPISED myself when I was drinking. Oh God was I miserable!!
I cant slip. I cant just have a few drinks. Like Doggygirl, if I have one drink then its all over. I will be lucky if i can muster the courage to make it through another 26 AF days so quickly after a slip.My addiction to drink is so severe that it would probably be months/ years until I can again.

I have alot of soul searching to do still but one thing I have realised during my sobriety... Alcohol is such a LIE! I thought it was my friend, my comfort. I thought I needed it.
I so so don't. I have just conditioned myself to thinking I need it. Stay strong! x:l

[IanRankin]

25 Days and not as confident.

Hi Bungle,
Well done on 25 days, its a great achievement.
You have received some great advice here from people far more experienced than me. Keep focussed on why you have decided to stop drinking and think of all the benefits of not drinking. Is it worth spoiling all that and going back to square one (or even further back) - definitely not.

Best of luck.

[Guest]

25 Days and not as confident.

The conventional wisdom says: ?It is easier to stay out than get out?
Why risk it?

[Guest]

25 Days and not as confident.

Bungle

This was me over the weekend and the way I got through it was to remember HOW I felt when I was drinking. We both know 1 drink has a very high chance of taking you right back to that horrid place. Is the risk worth going through all of that again?Starting on day 1 all over again with the guilt, shame, physical suffering too?

[KatieB]

25 Days and not as confident.

bungle,
Yes you can beat the beast!!! I think it's normal to feel this way as you have been so long AF, it will make you feel that you can moderate.. however, you know why you are here, and only you knows yourself.. you would not be here if you could only have one, none of us would!
It might help to remind yourself of your past mistakes with AL.. and the reason you sought help in the first place.. we are here for you too,
Katie xx

[kslc2001]

25 Days and not as confident.

I felt the same way last night too. 25 days AF and boy did I want that wine! It came out of nowhere!!That 25 days kept me going!
If I'd felt like that after a week I would have caved in I know it. My local support groups out of town, so thank heavens for you guys.

[bungle]

25 Days and not as confident.

Thank you I am so grateful to you all... I beat my monster 26 days,,,, i love you all.

[KatieB]

25 Days and not as confident.

well done bungle! that's fab. xx

[techie]

25 Days and not as confident.

Yeah I agree with everyone. One drink would just totally derail me. The wheel of reason would fall right off and I'd be back to a state of weakness. Right now I fell empowered, and I'm sure you do too. Keep that in mind. You'll get over this period of cravings. WE ALL GET THEM!