I am 35 years old. I have lived with my Grandmother for the past 8 years, she is my enabler and she knows this now. I have not been able to hold down gainful employment over the course of this 8 years, I would rather drink. Over the past 8 years I held down one job for a little over 2 years, drunk thru it all. Only way I held it was, looking back, I had some alcoholic bosses and at times was a good worker. I lost that job in May of last year and have worked only 3 weeks since.
I am now active in AA in my community and have but just a couple 24 hours under my belt. I am scared to death in so many ways. I can't sleep without Melatonin, and when I do it is a short 2-4 hours. Fear consumes me. Over the past couple of months, since I moved to this area, I have acted insane in numerous public places. I avoid them, but the fear and humilation is always with me.
I've got a sponsor and numerous folks from the fellowship who have circled the wagon to help this Alcoholic. My eyes are not right as I am fairly certain I have damaged them thru my disease. Dark spots, rings around lights at night and floating spots when the sun is out.
Physically and mentally, other then my eyes, I am regaining health. I drink soda like crazy, it helps.
I found this forum and it appears that this is a place I can come at night after the AA clubs around town close up. Late nights and early mornings are the hardest times for me, thank God I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a bed to sleep in and a tv and dvd player to keep me off the street.
I am glad I found this place and look forward to this journey as I will be a regular, God willing, one day at a time.
Curt
I am now active in AA in my community and have but just a couple 24 hours under my belt. I am scared to death in so many ways. I can't sleep without Melatonin, and when I do it is a short 2-4 hours. Fear consumes me. Over the past couple of months, since I moved to this area, I have acted insane in numerous public places. I avoid them, but the fear and humilation is always with me.
I've got a sponsor and numerous folks from the fellowship who have circled the wagon to help this Alcoholic. My eyes are not right as I am fairly certain I have damaged them thru my disease. Dark spots, rings around lights at night and floating spots when the sun is out.
Physically and mentally, other then my eyes, I am regaining health. I drink soda like crazy, it helps.
I found this forum and it appears that this is a place I can come at night after the AA clubs around town close up. Late nights and early mornings are the hardest times for me, thank God I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a bed to sleep in and a tv and dvd player to keep me off the street.
I am glad I found this place and look forward to this journey as I will be a regular, God willing, one day at a time.
Curt
Comment