I am celebrating a month!
I am an alcoholic but I have managed 30 days AF for the first time in 15 years. Through gritted teeth I have battled with my cravings. I have changed my daily routine, avoided old haunts, my drinking pals, my think patterns, sweated, cursed, screamed, cried (alot!),ate spoonfuls of chocolate spread, doughnuts, cupcakes, drank gallons of diet coke, read a mountain of books.Man has it been difficult! I have at times been utterly miserable and got close to giving up.
But 30 days later I am so happy that I didn’t! The positive change in my life makes it worth the fight.And there are MANY!
In amongst my battling with addiction and old habits, I have being glowing inwardly. I feel this inner peace with myself. I have self respect again. I have found my drive to live again. I am smiling and laughing more. I am finally in control of my life!And my son loves me. I see it in his eyes. I feel it when he grabs my hand and holds it
I thought alcohol was my friend. I thought it made me happy,comforted me,made me feel understood.This length of sobriety has shown me it’s true colours. It’s a conartist, a liar, a manipulator. It wants me to look stupid.It wants me to hate myself.It wants me to waste my life away.I hate it. I hate it I hate ihateithateithateit.
Thank God for this forum! I get so much from MYO. I love the words of wisdom, the short documentaries, the advice, the banter, the honesty from you guys. You are one of the great helps that keep me sober when I am feeling fragile. Thank you with all my heart.
I shall carry on with my battle to kill my inner demons.So with a deep breath…here’s to another 30 days! Gulp.nervous already but ODAT.
Have a lovely day everyone and it's GREAT to be sober. xxxxxxxxxxxx:l
I am an alcoholic but I have managed 30 days AF for the first time in 15 years. Through gritted teeth I have battled with my cravings. I have changed my daily routine, avoided old haunts, my drinking pals, my think patterns, sweated, cursed, screamed, cried (alot!),ate spoonfuls of chocolate spread, doughnuts, cupcakes, drank gallons of diet coke, read a mountain of books.Man has it been difficult! I have at times been utterly miserable and got close to giving up.
But 30 days later I am so happy that I didn’t! The positive change in my life makes it worth the fight.And there are MANY!
In amongst my battling with addiction and old habits, I have being glowing inwardly. I feel this inner peace with myself. I have self respect again. I have found my drive to live again. I am smiling and laughing more. I am finally in control of my life!And my son loves me. I see it in his eyes. I feel it when he grabs my hand and holds it
I thought alcohol was my friend. I thought it made me happy,comforted me,made me feel understood.This length of sobriety has shown me it’s true colours. It’s a conartist, a liar, a manipulator. It wants me to look stupid.It wants me to hate myself.It wants me to waste my life away.I hate it. I hate it I hate ihateithateithateit.
Thank God for this forum! I get so much from MYO. I love the words of wisdom, the short documentaries, the advice, the banter, the honesty from you guys. You are one of the great helps that keep me sober when I am feeling fragile. Thank you with all my heart.
I shall carry on with my battle to kill my inner demons.So with a deep breath…here’s to another 30 days! Gulp.nervous already but ODAT.
Have a lovely day everyone and it's GREAT to be sober. xxxxxxxxxxxx:l
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