Today should have been day 7......

[Time to change]

I am so upset with myself right now, I caved in about 10pm last night and bought a bottle of wine from the shop which I polished off then moved on to the remnants of my housmates bottle in the fridge. Why did I do that? I feel so down right now after such a great start. The thing is I'm wasn't desperate for it, the cravings weren't that strong but I did it anyway. I should have been in work right now but I pulled another sicky as I couldn't face it. I feel such an idiot.
x

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Today should have been day 7......

Hi Time, you are not an idiot, far from it. You like all of us here have an addiction to alcohol. It makes people do stupid things despite our knowing the consequences. Yet we continue to do it over and over till one day it gets to the stage that the penny finally drops and we realise AL is ruining our lives. Come on pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again, you are not alone.

[Time to change]

Today should have been day 7......

Thanks KTAB,
I'm so mad at myself, I hate feeling like this. When I started out I said I was going to tell my friends and family to get it out in the open but I haven't so maybe this is something I need to do, then it wont be so easy to take that first drink. My AF life starts again today.
x

[TRUCKER123]

Today should have been day 7......

Hi Time to change I have done the same thing.Many time's i would just pull over to a bar i have never been in before conn, nyc,philly,maryland, delaware.florida, and just to have a drink check out the seen.Or out of no where's and say fluck aa and there way's I want a damm drink, This of course led me to a drinking binge.So don't beat your self up most here have done the sane thing just get back on board buddy! Trucker

[OverIt2007]

Today should have been day 7......

Hi Time to Change,

If I had a dollar for every time I caved in to my desire to drink, I would be a very rich women!!! Like you, I always have the best intentions to quit, but then the addicted brain, wants what it wants. Sometimes its like you feel like a little kid wanting some candy. You just want it, so you do it!

My willpower would fly out the window about every 3 days. If you can start again, and not slip, then I say go for it!! You CAN do it. Put the tools in place and get past a week.

Dont beat yourself up too much. I know it feels like a failure, but it can just be a setback and in a few days you can have some good sober time behind you again. Just go for it!

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Today should have been day 7......

Time to change;903278 wrote: Thanks KTAB,
I'm so mad at myself, I hate feeling like this. When I started out I said I was going to tell my friends and family to get it out in the open but I haven't so maybe this is something I need to do, then it wont be so easy to take that first drink. My AF life starts again today.
x

It may help to tell those closest to you but in my experience it is totally down to us to stop. Doesnt matter what anyone says when I decided I was going to drink, drink I would regardless.

[Time to change]

Today should have been day 7......

Thanks guys,
I'm gonna dust myself off and start again today. Sheri, that rang so true with me when you said the concept of one drink was alien to you! thats how I feel about AL. I don't see the point in one drink...Therefore I will ALWAYS get drunk. I am learning so much about myself and my attitude to drinking, I look at friends of mine who can take it or leave it and I just cannot comprehend how they are doing that.
I was thinking back over my drinking habits over the years and I was remembering how, when I was a child, on a Saturday I would go to the local shop with my pocket money and spend every last penny on chocolate and sweets, then I would sit in my room and eat all of them within the space of about 20 mins. I couldn't relax until I'd finished them all. I guess thats an addictive personality for you.
KTAB, I think I'm going to try writing down what I want to say to the people I love about my addiction, I really think it will be a weight off my shoulders to have the people around me know what I'm going through but its all down to me in the end as you say.
x

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Today should have been day 7......

Good idea and good luck with it Time, I hope you get loads of support from them, it will help a lot.

[techie]

Today should have been day 7......

Best of luck time. Glad you're getting right back in the fight!

[Time to change]

Today should have been day 7......

I've just send a long and honest email to my closest friends admitting to my addiction....I feel good but very emotional right now!
Now to tell my family....
x

[Flip Top]

Today should have been day 7......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04L9jdGbx7g[/video]]YouTube - Addict

Someone posted this link a few weeks back, it's very interesting.

[Time to change]

Today should have been day 7......

That was really interesting and so true! Thanks Flip
x

[prancy]

Today should have been day 7......

time, you drank again because you are a human being with an addiction to alcohol.
you will stop again because you are a human being with a desire to stop drinking. Forgive yourself and move forward. Living without AL is not about being the one who accumulates the most AF days in a row. It is about taking back your life from AL and living free and happy. That's a good deal every day! prancy

[1967]

Today should have been day 7......

Ugh, I was in your shoes on Friday. We just start again.

You might find this helpful, I know I did:


*JUNKIE THINKING: *One drink won't hurt.
RESPONSE: One drink will always hurt me, and it always will because I'm not a social drinker. One sip and I'll be drinking compulsively again.

*JUNKIE THINKING:* I only want one.
RESPONSE: I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 5 or 10 or 15 every day. I want them all.

*JUNKIE THINKING:* I?ll just be a social drinker.
RESPONSE: I?m a chronic, compulsive drinker, and once I drink one I?ll quickly be thinking about the next one. Social drinkers can take it or leave it. That?s not me.

*JUNKIE THINKING:* I'm doing so well, one won't hurt me now.
RESPONSE: The only reason I'm doing so well is because I haven't taken the first one. Yet once I do, I won't be doing well anymore, I'll be drinking again.

*JUNKIE THINKING:* I'll just stop again.
RESPONSE: Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it took me to stop this time? And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I'm back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I'll ever be able to stop again?

*JUNKIE THINKING:* If I slip, I'll keep trying.
RESPONSE: If I think I can get away with one little "slip" now, I'll think I can get away with another little slip later on.

*JUNKIE THINKING:* I need one to get me through this withdrawal.
RESPONSE: Drinking will not get me through the discomfort of not drinking. It will only get me back to drinking. One sip stops the process of withdrawal and I'll have to go through it all over again.

*JUNKIE THINKING:* I miss drinking right now.
RESPONSE: Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the pain of drinking right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I'd rather be an ex-drinker with an occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it.

*JUNKIE THINKING:* I really need to drink now. I'm so upset.
RESPONSE: Drinking is not going to fix anything. I'll still be upset; I'll just be an upset drunk. I never have to have a drink. Drinking alcohol is not a need, it's a want. Once the crisis is over, I'll be relieved and grateful I'm still not drinking.

*JUNKIE THINKING: *I don't care.
RESPONSE: WHAT IS IT EXACTLY THAT I THINK I DON'T CARE ABOUT? Can I truthfully say I don't care about my pain? I don't care about having a hangover in the morning? I don't care about what I'm doing to my liver, lungs, kidney, and heart? I don?t care about all the people I?ve hurt. No, I care about these things very much. That's why I stopped drinking in the first place.

*JUNKIE THINKING:* What difference does it make, anyway?
RESPONSE: It makes a difference in the way I live, the way my heart beats, the way I feel about myself. It makes a tremendous difference in every aspect of my physical and emotional health.
***************


Crap... I think I need a nap!! What IS it with me??

[Quit Quitting]

Today should have been day 7......

Hi Time

Trust me you are not alone in what you did - we can all see that reading the replies to your post. Day 18 I got to and then bang back to day one again and again and again.............................................

Yeah I am SICK of booze sick sick sick of it but I still do it. I know the only way for me is to abstain, it feels scarey I guess losing something I have done for so long, but I know I have to do it. I have divorced the bottle.

Love your post 1967 have printed it off and laminated it, can see how it can help, brilliant wording.

Good luck to all

QQ