Hi Time,
I appreciated the honesty in your post. I used to be in deprivation mode, too. I used to look at other people drinking and think, "Damn, why shouldn't I be able to drink, too? Do I HAVE to punish myself?!" I couldn't get that thought out of my head for the longest time.
And then, I started thinking about my beautiful, blonde-bombshell sister who is very happily married with 3 kids whom I adore. She stopped drinking (she never had an AL issue) after her son was born 20 years ago....it happened quite suddenly that whenever she took a sip of AL she would get a raging headache that would not go away for an entire day. She said she doesn't miss it, and talk about a fulfilling life....she has wonderful friends, lots of them, a fantastic husband and great kids. She does what she wants to do, and gets it done, every day, because she isn't drinking.
My younger neighbors also don't drink and by far they are one of the most attractive couples I have ever met. I asked the wife why she doesn't drink and she said, "I get lightheaded." Because she doesn't drink, she has the body she wants (which I don't have....it's been destroyed by AL) and the freedom to enjoy all of her outdoor activities with a clear, happy head and heart. I decided several weeks ago that I want to be the same way and it's great!
Time....these are a few examples of how my life is better without AL: I am finally losing some weight, my sister-in-law, who wouldn't visit me anymore because of my drinking, called me yesterday and invited me out to lunch....her treat. I have the love and respect of my family again. They can count on me to show up sober and on time to family events and feel comfortable knowing that I won't be repeating myself because I'm wasted.
I didn't think I could ever do it, but I have, and I just wish I hadn't waited so long.
Wishing you strength in your journey,
Rusty
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