I've been 100% honest with my hubby and told him that I do not trust myself with drink right now and if i can't trust myself HE DAMN WELL CANNOT! So i've been taking antabuse on a regular basis and i beggeg him to give me one a day for a while until i figure out what's making me tick like this again and he's been good but the odd day he misses a dose... i drink. HOWEVER, i do not drink or feel tempted to drink at the weekends when he is with me. I've posted notes on every door and all over the house saying, give mummy antabuse! It's not like i'm not trying but if he slips i slip.
I have 2 children and i almost lost my hubby ages ago and my baby girl due to drink and there is no a chance im going back to that place. I also almost lost my family. I'm not going back to that dark place, id rather die then put my family through it.
I love my life, i love my children, i'm a FANTASTIC mum and a great wife (i hope) I live life, i love being sober, i've even lost every pound of my baby weight and look fantastic, i feel great most of the time. HOWEVER, i feel like i've let my family down when i drink. It really is an odd occasion i drink but i hate myself so much it's unreal. I let my children down and i let my hubby down. He's all i got. He's my life, my soul, my love and i let him down.
I guess i need to find out what's happening to make me tick this way again....... Ideas people please.
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