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    #1

    Newbie

    My first time signing up for an internet support group. I think it may be better than keeping it all inside. I have 5 days AF. I was sober for 10 years and then started "socially" drinking again for the past 10 years. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired (cliche). I will be 50 at the end of August and determined to be sober here on out. My husband (of 10 years) doesn't understand why every once in a while the glass of wine turns into the whole bottle (duh, alcoholic). I have hep C and know that I cannot continue to do this or I will be dead in no time, then won't the memories of social drinking be fun for the living:-(

    All support is welcome! I have always been a binge drinker, not every day, so that is why the 5 - 10 days is not an issue, it's my lover (alcohol) seducing my mind into "just have a glass of wine to fit in and not be so uptight". Moderation is not an option for me because of my liver disease. Peace, and thanks for being here.
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    #2
    Newbie

    Hi patongar. A warm welcome to this forum.Moderation is also not an option for me. I am trying to quit drinking for good because I am also an alcoholic. I have managed 33 days so far..it's a good beginning. I attend AA meetings but I do find these online forums helpful. The more support the better. x
    Be strong-
    We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worse that has been done to us.
    Be constructive. Clear the word of CAN'T

    Comment

      #3
      Newbie

      Welcome Patongar,

      I too have realised moderation is not for me. You will soon see what a great place you have found. If you have not already got it read the book I found it helped me. Had a bad June and was not logging on here and trust me that is important as the people here are great and we all share the same issue AL. Talking about the book I am going to read it again starting tonight.

      Good luck

      QQ xx
      Success is knowing when to sit back and enjoy the moment

      Comment

        #4
        Newbie

        Hi Patongar!

        Sounds like you are in a great big family here! I too just turned 50 and my romance with wine is over!!
        I can't moderate because I've tried umpteen times which should have told me something along time ago.

        I have 18 days so far.. and my new commitment includes AA this time and that has helped me because it is another huge reminder when I go to meetings of why I need to just not drink and deal with it one hour at a time if I have too. This forum is also extremely helpful too.


        Cher
        May our choices today not result in regret, but rather be wise

        Comment

          #5
          Newbie

          Hello pat and welcome. I'm another that cannot moderate. I'm 53 days AF this time with the help of the wonderful folks here. Best of luck to you. Keep reading and posting!
          Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

          Comment

            #6
            Newbie

            Welcome Patongar. You have come to the right place. I am 6 months out and like the others, cannot moderate - that had been my intention when I stopped AL. But it needs to be all or nothing for me. This site has so much to offer - read, absorb - as Quit Quitting said, the book is very good and there are lots of helpful tools and ideas here. Welcome again.

            Sunshinedaisies
            How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

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              #7
              Newbie

              Thanks

              Thank you all for the support. Just had a cool watermelon spritzer and it was very refreshing:-) No AL

              Comment

                #8
                Newbie

                Hi Pat and welcome

                This is a good site to be on and is extremely supportive. I'm on day 33 too the same as Rebirth. This is the first time I've been AF for this long in more than 30 years!! I have a passion for wine (and came so close on Thurs as others will tell you) I am looking to moderate after 2 months AF but if I can't, well stuff it. My friends will have to deal with me sober or find a new one!!!

                Good luck to you

                Comment

                  #9
                  Newbie

                  Welcome patonger! I'm only slightly mad that you didn't share your watermelon spritzer with me.

                  I too quit drinking at 50 years old. (which is the new 29 around here, just so you know) My life is infinitely better today than it was before. I'm another one who has found the combination of this forum and AA to be what works for me. When I first started my sober journey, I also included the Starter Kit of supplements from the health store here, the hypnosis CD's, and also the exercise and diet recommendations outlined in the My Way Out book. If you haven't had a chance to check out the book yet, you might want to download it from the health store and give it a read as a starting point.

                  Whatever you do, I strongly suggest making a written plan for yourself and sticking to it, and modifying it if it doesn't work. It got to the point where sobriety is life and death for me, so I take it real serious. Be willing to do whatever it takes to get and stay sober, and you will.

                  DG
                  Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                  Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                  One day at a time.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Newbie

                    Thanks Doggygirl! I agree with 50 being the new (29) I will check out the health store re:the supplements and the book. It's somewhat comedic that I do take many health supplements and exercise, yet would always justify that glass/bottle of wine (crazy thinking). I just got home from spending time with six wonderful reasons to stay sober and healthy, my grandchildren.

                    I do need to go to AA, yet such a small town thinking area I'm in and the pride thing is currently in the way.

                    I do believe I need face to face support so I will continue to press into that. I have had a lot of therapy and know the process, now I need to start working it again on a daily basis.
                    I'm grateful that I have found this site, made today easier knowing I had a touchstone for the evening.

                    Blessings

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Newbie

                      patongar;904769 wrote: Thanks Doggygirl! I agree with 50 being the new (29) I will check out the health store re:the supplements and the book. It's somewhat comedic that I do take many health supplements and exercise, yet would always justify that glass/bottle of wine (crazy thinking). I just got home from spending time with six wonderful reasons to stay sober and healthy, my grandchildren.

                      I do need to go to AA, yet such a small town thinking area I'm in and the pride thing is currently in the way.

                      I do believe I need face to face support so I will continue to press into that. I have had a lot of therapy and know the process, now I need to start working it again on a daily basis.
                      I'm grateful that I have found this site, made today easier knowing I had a touchstone for the evening.

                      Blessings
                      Hi Patongar,

                      I like that idea of 50 being the new 29:H given that I will be 50 next year!
                      I really relate to a couple of things you have mentioned 'small town thinking...' 'the pride thing...' and the ironic part about supplements and exercise...have done both most of my adult life...
                      All I can reiterate is that you've come to the right place..so much support and info:welcome:
                      30 day Challenge...started 16.08.2010

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Newbie

                        Hey Pat!

                        I love that phrase, " I have a touchstone for the evening!!" I'm going to remember that!!

                        Cher
                        May our choices today not result in regret, but rather be wise

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Newbie

                          I used to think of check ins here at MWO as "touching the lifeline."

                          Think of it this way on the supplements and exercise you have already been doing. That has surely left you better off than you would be without it.

                          Anyone you see at AA anywhere is there for the same reason you are. (if you decide to go) I sort of freaked out when I went to a business function (I am on the board of directors of this organization) and saw a man I knew from AA. Turns out he's the husband of another woman who serves on the board with me. :H It all worked out fine. I'm learning that it's never an embarrassment to be sober. If I wasn't embarrassed to be falling down drunk in bars, at wedding receptions, etc. than I shouldn't feel bad at all walking soberly into an AA meeting.

                          Took me a while to shake those fears though. But for me, it's all been worth it.

                          Hope you are having a good day!

                          DG
                          Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                          Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                          One day at a time.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Newbie

                            The support is welcoming. My husband freaked out last night when I told him I was on the open chat. He doesn't think I have a problem (good grief, where is he when I can't form a sentence lol). He said, just quit if you don't think you should drink. Grrrrrrrrr , old school on his part. I'll just keep it on the down low (as my kids say), and take care of me.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Newbie

                              Our spouses can be in denial just as much as we can. I know there are lots of people here who might have wisdom on that topic to share. One poster who comes to mind is retteacher. Even after a frightening incident involving a trip to the emergency room, she has shared that her husband still didn't think she had a problem. retteacher has now been sober over a year and her husband has been on the journey too, and has come 'round to a greater understanding of her alcoholism, and the support she needs from him.

                              One way to deal with spouse in denial is to "lay low" as you said. My only word of caution about that is it's just another form of secrecy - not that unlike drinking, where we try to hide the amount we have drank and stuff like that. I encourage you to consider finding a way over time, to help your spouse accept the truth just as you have to accept it. I think that's the ideal scenario anyway.

                              Mr. Doggy understands that I am addicted and in recovery. He understands that I need a support system beyond him to help me stay happy and sober and fully functional. The "new undrunk me" is a blessing in our marriage and he is very supportive, which I am grateful for. I would hate to think of NOT being able to share with him my involvement in MWO and AA - my sobriety support systems.

                              Anyway...just some food for thought. We all have to find our own way and I wish you well finding yours!

                              DG
                              Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                              Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                              One day at a time.

                              Comment

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