Tell us a little bit about yourself..

[sk8punk]

Tell us a little bit about yourself..

Rusty;907108 wrote: Sk8,

I just saw that you are 91 days AF! Congratulations!
BTW, I spend loads of time in warehouse and manufacturing plants and I talk to the receiving people all the time. I can understand why your drinking may have gotten out of control. That can be either a very boring or very stressful job.

Hey Rusty, I never rember to change that. Its 93 days now. And yes my job is very boring.

[not quite a swan]

Tell us a little bit about yourself..

Hi-Im 35 yrs old,very shy and quiet...im a lurker and havent posted much but do go on chat and have made some wonderful friends who have really helped me..
I have been AF since christmas (1 short slip) despite loosing my son who was 10 and my mother in this time,and my beautiful daughter has been adopted only the other week....so life is pretty crap...but im not a quitter and i will turn my life around and become proud of myself once again..

[Skye5942]

Tell us a little bit about yourself..

Hi. I'm 45, and a single mom to a beautiful 14yr old. Her father is a good man and father to her but a complete pain in the ass and very critical of both of us. Well, he's critical about everyone but himself, so I guess its not just me!! I'm very good at "putting on a show" for the world to see and pretty much have everyone convinced that I'm confident, secure, doing great and life is a breeze. Quite the actress! My true self is so far apart from my "performances" in public and I believe thats why the wine has gotten to be more, and the "actress" doesn't go out as much. Just don't have the willpower to fake my life anymore. I work from home and work alot. I love running with a passion.

[mama bear]

Tell us a little bit about yourself..

this is a very cool thread!!!

[sk8punk]

Tell us a little bit about yourself..

Skye5942;907122 wrote: Hi. I'm 45, and a single mom to a beautiful 14yr old. Her father is a good man and father to her but a complete pain in the ass and very critical of both of us. Well, he's critical about everyone but himself, so I guess its not just me!! I'm very good at "putting on a show" for the world to see and pretty much have everyone convinced that I'm confident, secure, doing great and life is a breeze. Quite the actress! My true self is so far apart from my "performances" in public and I believe thats why the wine has gotten to be more, and the "actress" doesn't go out as much. Just don't have the willpower to fake my life anymore. I work from home and work alot. I love running with a passion.

I like the honesty in your post Skye. I'm the exact opposite. What you see is what you get. and I'm to critical of myself and not of anyone else. Believe me I'm sure you're not the only actress out there. My sons mom is quite the actress. Used to bug the shit out of me. Everyone else got this smiling happy person and I got this miserable person to deal with.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Tell us a little bit about yourself..

..

[one2many]

Tell us a little bit about yourself..

not quite a swan;907114 wrote: Hi-Im 35 yrs old,very shy and quiet...im a lurker and havent posted much but do go on chat and have made some wonderful friends who have really helped me..
I have been AF since christmas (1 short slip) despite loosing my son who was 10 and my mother in this time,and my beautiful daughter has been adopted only the other week....so life is pretty crap...but im not a quitter and i will turn my life around and become proud of myself once again..

God Swan, I am so sorry to hear about your son and your mother. Plus your daughter being adopted.

FAIR play to you being AF during this time, YOU ROCK. xx

[Skye5942]

Tell us a little bit about yourself..

sk8punk;907129 wrote: I like the honesty in your post Skye. I'm the exact opposite. What you see is what you get. and I'm to critical of myself and not of anyone else. Believe me I'm sure you're not the only actress out there. My sons mom is quite the actress. Used to bug the shit out of me. Everyone else got this smiling happy person and I got this miserable person to deal with.

Thats the truth!!! The people closest got the wrath of my crap spewing out....but everyone else........I WAS SO FREAKIN HAPPY AND ALWAYS SMILING! No worries in my life!!!

I even hated dealing with myself when alone and the show was over, so I can only imagine how much I bugged the shit outta the people closest to me!

[Rusty]

Tell us a little bit about yourself..

I'm like Sk8, what you see is what you get. If I don't like you, you'll know it right away because I'll have a helluva hard time hiding it, even if I try my best to hide the fact that I despise you, you'll know right away.

On the other hand, I'm an extremely outgoing, happy person who loves to laugh and according to family and friends, "I light up a room when I walk in" (Hmm, I guess that means when I'm sober! :H

I need to work on forgiveness and not bottling up anger. I am making progress in the forgiveness stage since I have needed to be forgiven by SOOOOOO many people in the last 4 years....why can't I forgive others. Well, I can and I am. This is what being AF does. Never could have done it whilst drinking.

Like Sk8, I am hypercritical of myself and suffer from a lack of self-esteem but you wouldn't know it from the way I conduct myself at work. Ugh, I have had to hide it, and with AL, the lying and sneaking around got to be so damn much work. I am done with that, thank God!

[Rusty]

Tell us a little bit about yourself..

This IS a cool thread, you're right, Mama Bear.

Oh, by the way, Mama Bear is 2 days younger than I am! hahahah

[Rusty]

Tell us a little bit about yourself..

Swan,

Gosh, I am so sorry about your situation. I'm glad you're here with us.

xoxox

Rusty

[hippie37]

Tell us a little bit about yourself..

Skye5942;907122 wrote: Hi. I'm 45, and a single mom to a beautiful 14yr old. Her father is a good man and father to her but a complete pain in the ass and very critical of both of us. Well, he's critical about everyone but himself, so I guess its not just me!! I'm very good at "putting on a show" for the world to see and pretty much have everyone convinced that I'm confident, secure, doing great and life is a breeze. Quite the actress! My true self is so far apart from my "performances" in public and I believe thats why the wine has gotten to be more, and the "actress" doesn't go out as much. Just don't have the willpower to fake my life anymore. I work from home and work alot. I love running with a passion.

Skye I just wanted to share this section of the BB with you that I TOTALLY identified with when I read it. If ever I'm asked to do a main share I nearly always choose this reading to be read out before I speak.

The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.
What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well. He begins to think life doesn't treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic trouble? Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony?
Our actor is self-centered, ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays. He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia if the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up. Whatever our protest actions, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?
Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness.

You're not alone believe me!!!

[sk8punk]

Tell us a little bit about yourself..

Skye don't get me wrong she wasn't always like that. There is a reason is still love her. But its true you tend to hurt the ones you love because you always assume there is forgiveness.

Rusty I'm the sameway. If I don't like you I can't hide it. There really isn't anything wrong with that. Its not like I'm harassing them or going after them. I just ignore them and only speak when spoken to.
I wish I was outgoing. I can't even pretend to be outgoing. But once I'm comfortable around people watch out cause the real me comes out. Not that that's bad just wish more people can see that side of me. Not the shy uncomfortable me. I used to bottle my anger to. I find it really freeing to be completly honest now. No more hiding for this person.

[Rusty]

Tell us a little bit about yourself..

Sk8,

I ignore people like that, too, if I can, or come back with a sarcastic remark to get my point across.

We see the real you and you're someone whom everyone respects and loves, because of your kindness and honesty. Oh yeah, I am sick of hiding, too. I just love that picture of little Aaron. If he isn't the most squeezable, lovable child :-)

[sk8punk]

Tell us a little bit about yourself..

I'm very sarcastic by nature too. Can't change that. Don't really want to either.

Aaron is awsome. Still can't believe I had a part in him being here. The world is truly his oyster. And I'm gonna be there for him whatever he wants to do. As long as he's happy I'm happy.