Hello

[Rice80]

I just joined this site today after finding out about it in my endless pursuit to get a handle on my binge drinking.

I have tried to quit and/or cutdown so many times (I've been through AA twice) and each time I fall on my face. It drives me absolutely insane because I am a goal oriented guy and I achieve the goals I set for myself in almost every other aspect of my life.

It's so hard because drinking is such a major part of my life (my job "networking", my social life "college buddies", and my family life "WASPS love their celebratory booze"). I've tried to quit before but now I know I just can't. I need to be able to moderate and for the most part I can for weeks or even months. However, I inevitably fail and have a terrible night that sets up a week or more of withdrawal where I decide to quit again.

That's what I wanted to ask about. I feel like the scum of the earth. So guilt ridden, full of fear and anxiety (terror is more accurate), that I am nearly paralyzed with irrational thoughts.

I feel so alone. I feel like I don't deserve the life that I have and that I am destined to have the whole thing cave in on me in some epic tragedy.

Is this a normal way of feeling? I am hoping that this is just the withdrawal and that it will pass...if so, how long will it take for me to begin to relax again?

I think that this group will help me a lot.

Thanks

[Andy1111]

Hello

Hi,
I feel the same way, I think it's normal for us drunks. At least you (and me) are trying to do something about it. I'd try one of the new drugs that takes care of cravings. Go see a therapist. I am on Campral and I think it would work better if I wasn't drinking on it.

[skootiemom]

Hello

Hi Rice!

You are not alone!
I was feeling exactly the same way as you 11 days ago and stumbled onto this site. I wanted to crawl outta of my skin.
I am still not sure how I am going tackle this thing. I too have quit before ( ie: pregnancy, after a trip to Vegas, etc...) and everytime I end up where you are.
It's such a part of me...
This time, I am talking about it- with strangers ( never did the AA thing) and I am motivated by the fact that moderation is an option for some.
Hang in there... and here! Just typng your thoughts is cathartic...

Skootie

[skootiemom]

Hello

PS

... and YES- it's most likely the withdrawl. My doom and gloom started to lift after about 8 days...

Skootie

[Rice80]

Hello

Wow, I'm energized by the quick replies...Thank you

Is it normal to be haunted by flashbacks to your last drinking binge coupled with irrational thoughts?

[Rice80]

Hello

On a side note...

The dance that spider man is doing is Hilarious!

[Guest]

Hello

Hey Rice.
The Spidey dance is pretty funny!
I must say that you are certainly NOT alone. FAR FROM it.
A-hem. As an old-ish timer (I've been here since Feb of this year, and doing pretty well I might add!) I would suggest you READ the old posts. READ the FAQ's. Read the book. Post, read, chat, read. Get to know people. Take the supps. Do the program.
There is definitely hope.
You sound like you can put your ducks in a row.
You sound like you know what you want and need.
We are glad to have you here!
Looking forward to learning a bit more about you! May I say again.... You are NOT alone. So many of us with the same questions and problems and physical and psychological issues at the beginnings. Your post brought back memories for me. Thank you for the honesty. It helps all of us. Just be honest and tell us what you need and how you are doing. Be true to yourself and try hard every day. Set lofty goals. You can do this! Believe!!

[Rice80]

Hello

Thanks

Thanks for the replies!

It's amazing how good it feels to know that you are not alone. We're weird creatures us Human Beings aren't we? We live in huge cities and interact with people almost all day in our professional lives, yet, for the most part we are painfully lonely! Like any animal, we need to feel like we belong to a group. For me, this will be my support group as I'm sure my family and friends are tired of hearing me make promises that I never keep.

I was recently divorced (I'm only 25) and thought that I would enjoy the single life immensely. However, I find myself so painfully lonely! Even getting back out there with other women has only left me feeling more lonely. I think that this is a major reason I drink the way that I do...escape!

Does anyone know if the medication to temper the withdrawal symptoms really works. Like skootie, I just want out of my skin right now!

[CC Canadian]

Hello

Hi Rice,

Regarding withdrawls, I followed the supplement schedule in the book taking all the supplements (except the topaxmax that I started a week later after I found a doctor who would prescribe it) and did not have any symptoms at all. The no withdrawls really amazed me because I had suffered from them during attempts to quit drinking altogether and even attempts to cut back. Needless to say, all attempts failed. I was skeptical because I wondered how nutritonal supplements could prevent my anxiety, night sweats, nervous edgyness and stop cravings. It worked for me.

All the best.

CC

[Guest]

Hello

How did the weekend go, Rice? Check in, OK?

[Mackeral]

Hello

Hiya Rice....Your not alone....And yeah, this is a great group

[Rice80]

Hello

Bored

Well it's Saturday morning and I'm watching college football.

The week has been so stressful that I have come down with a terrible head cold. So it's been three days of sleeping on the couch and I'm getting really really bored.

I'm trying to let myself off the hook for my latest relapse but the withdrawal symptons are not letting me. I keep falling into this downward spiral of fear and anxiety with odd flashbacks to my last binge that I can't tell if they are real or part of dreams/imagination.

Putting some distance between myself and that night is helping a little but I just want to be able to relax. I need this moderation program to work so I can avoid feeling like this for weeks on end. I feel that with his group, and the program, that I will finally be able to do it.

Thanks you for your support,

[aunty flo]

Hello

Hi Rice, You are not alone. Like you I came upon this site about 3 weeks ago. If it was not for my kids i would not have wanted to carry on living. But I found this site ordered all the stuff, oviously had reservations about taking medication (ordered it on line did not want to go to my doctors). Have been doing this programme and coming on here and have not been drunk or had all the guilt etc you describle since then and thats a first for me in 25 years !!! . So hang in there, this does work not just the programme the peole, could not sleep at 4 in the morning the other day came on here and got great support in the chat room from another memeber ment back to bed and slept with everything in prospective. Good luck Flo x

[Guest]

Hello

Hey rice

Hi Rice !
Tongiht is my firs time here. In fact first time I have ever even looked for help or support.
I know what u mean about being lonely. I feel the same and think that makes me drink more altho that prob makes me feel more lonely. I dont want to burden other people so this place is great as we are all in the same boat and makes me feel like not such a loser after all and not the only one.
U have done so well to stop. I have not got to that point and am absolutely terrified at even the thought of going a night without a drink. U should feel so proud of yrself. All the worries u are having now are normal I am sure and will go and u will live such a better life so stick it out. Good luck!!!

[Mighty Mouse II]

Hello

Hi Rice80. Welcome aboard. I am new here also; started last Saturday. AND YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT ALONE. AND YOU HAVE FOUND A VERY SPECIAL PLACE!!! This is an AMAZING place. Like you, I am very goal-oriented as you will see if you read any of my posts. Like you, I have tried to modify my drinking habits many times, but like so many people, always sporadically without a plan of action. Not this time. This time, I am trying to change my drinking habits through behavioral modification, changing my DAY-TO-DAY habits relative to my drinking. Since you are goal-oriented, you know that any goal action plan requires vigilence to daily behavior, and that is what I am doing -- setting daily, challenging goals, realistic ones. But it is VERY HARD. What is so special and making a real difference for me is the support here. Being goal oriented you know how important positive feedback is whether we are successful in our goals and need an "ataboy" or whether we are unsuccessful and need to talk it through so we can do better the next time. You will find it here!!!

So, don't give up. Today is a new day!!! Race80, goal setter, set you goal. Let us here about them. You can help us by sharing your goal-setting knowledge with us and we can help you by being your support.

Welcome Aboard! Post Often,
MM