I messed up.

[bungle]

I feel like such a fraud, 40 something days with out then bang, hits me like a steam train, honestly came out of no were, i was on my holier than thou.. oh yes i was doing so good , found it so easy, yada yada yada, boy did i go down spiral fast.

I have been to emabarressed to post, I haven't even logged in, especially after somone saying what an inspiration I was... what a joke I am.

I read that everyone relapses is this true ? I know not everyone has but I feel such a loser.Anyway for what it is worth I am back starting again day 1, I have had a taste of ho good it feels to be free and how crap I feel when I am imprisoned.

I am back with a vengance, I am so sorry.:upset:

[mario]

I messed up.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
posted this sometime back bungle, it may help..Sometimes people who have had a slip are ashamed of themselves-sometimes so ashamed that they fear to come back here.
They develop the old inferiority complex and tell themselves that they are no good,that they have let down there friends here and elsewhere,that they are hopeless & that they can never make it,This state of mind is perhaps worse than it was originally intended,They have been somewhat weakened by there slip,but there experience of logging on here is not entirely lost.They always know that they can stop again if they really want to,they know that there is still great help & advice here if they will ask for it because nobody entirely escapes temptation,You must expect it and be ready for it when it comes,You must try & keep your defences up by positive thoughts,the first step toward conquering temptation always is to see it in your mind,dissociate yourself from it,put it out of your mind as soon as it appears,do not think of excuses for yielding to it,come here for help.Dont quit quitting bungle

[hart]

I messed up.

(((Bungle)))

You have nothing to be sorry for as far as we are concerned. And 40 days is still an inspiration. We all get complacent after we have some success, we start thinking our problem wasn't as bad as it was, we start glamorizing what we liked about booze and making what we hated about booze not so important...UNTIL WE DRINK.

Rather than say today is AF day 1, say today is AF day 41 with one lapse, then go on! xxxooo

[OverIt2007]

I messed up.

Bungle,

You have noone on here to say sorry to. I know what its like to slip up. I remember the very next day I got my first "30" days the VERY next day I got trashed. I felt just like you do now, like a total failure. Some very kind people on here told me in so many words, "Its not the end of the world". It felt like it, but it wasnt.

Dont ever be embarressed to post on here! Thats what the website was designed for was us to help and support one another! Geesh

Its what you do now that matters. Pick up the pieces and try again! Remember this slip and how you dont want to go "there" again. Keep it as a reminder of just how awful drinking is for people like us.

[GoodAsGold]

I messed up.

Bungle, welcome back
Good 2 have you home safe again
xxx

[bungle]

I messed up.

Thank you guys... you don't know how much it means to me to have people like you around... I knew I could count on you.... I have missed you all.

[rebirth]

I messed up.

hart;909700 wrote: (((Bungle)))

You have nothing to be sorry for as far as we are concerned. And 40 days is still an inspiration. We all get complacent after we have some success, we start thinking our problem wasn't as bad as it was, we start glamorizing what we liked about booze and making what we hated about booze not so important...UNTIL WE DRINK.

Rather than say today is AF day 1, say today is AF day 41 with one lapse, then go on! xxxooo

Absolutely right! You are STILL a huge inspiration especially as you have decided to try again. I know how hard it is to abstain...I have been close soooo many times. It worries me if I slip that I cant get back up again. At least you are trying again..and so quickly afterwards too.

Welcome back! :l

[OverIt2007]

I messed up.

You can do it again Bungle, I have no doubt of that. 40 days is huge and shows just how much determination you had to get there.

Ill be honest, as you see in my signature, I take Antabuse to prevent slips for now. Thats always an option, but I have confidence you will be just fine!!!

Hugs,

Overit

[Mazzie]

I messed up.

Hi Bungle

Good to see you back on track 'with a vengance'. You've chosen the af life instead of continuing on the downward spiral with al. Good for you. I find its the habit of having a drink that is quite sneaky now and the glam I put on 'a glass of wine'. No glam in that at all!!!

Anywho, have a great day/night and learn from this experience. Build on the positive and leave the negative behind you.

All the best

Maz

[woywoyboy]

I messed up.

Don't lose sight of your 40, which is a great result. Get back on the horse and remember that it's not a fail but merely a slip.

[techie]

I messed up.

You're still that bungle we love. You are getting right back in the fight and that's key!

[K9Lover]

I messed up.

Don't apologize, you did the right thing by coming right back here! We're still here to support you!!

[mollyka]

I messed up.

Bungle, it is as Overit puts it 'its what you do now that matters', we are addicts - yes we are going to mess up - the important part is to start over - you sound very determined and that is great. Learn by your experience and decide to move forward, no one is let down - you are here now, that's what counts now so learn by it and then stop looking back and look to a sober future!
Molly

[spuddleduck]

I messed up.

bungle, im glad you came back. i got to 30, i got to 60, i almost got to 90 and wham.... what the hell happened.. i think i gave myself permission to drink again. felt so bad and really didnt want to come and admit what i had done.but i did and got back to it. unfortunately i did it again (see my sig). i still got lots of support from my friends here. i think most of us have been there.

[OverIt2007]

I messed up.

Spuds,

You people who get that much sober time, 60 days, 90 days, ect. I am in utter total AMAZEMENT of you all. You have much more strength than I have.

Taking Antabuse is what gives me strength these days. I will take it as long as I have to, and hope to be so used to AF life when I go off it I wont slip. Thats the plan at least.

Kudos to you all who have the strength to get long periods of sober time. My hat is off to you.