I've noticed I'm not as frantic the last few days. That everything going on is not urgent and irritating and I'm not sweating the little things like they are SO FREAKIN HUGE! I like it.
I went to my daughters practice last night. Had a wonderful time chatting it up with the other moms for a couple of hours. Driving home (by myself) I didn't have that feeling like I said something I shouldn't have. Though I didn't drink in certain situations, I guess my mind was alcohol fogged, and pretty much felt guilty for everything ALL THE TIME, even when sober. Now that my mind was pretty clear, I felt confident in my words, and big surprise, I WAS FUNNY! I still was me, but so much more stable.
While in the car for that 1/2 hour ride. I smiled to myself. THEN, the thought of making my daughter dinner made me drift back to a bottle of wine. Why not just swing by and pick one up? It was a quick transition in my thinking. But somewhere inside, another thought popped in, and I went right back to where I was....remembering the night I'd just had sober, and how my daughter deserved that for the few hours we'd be awake. A calm, funny, happy, and less FRANTIC mom! I passed right by, made dinner....she got home and we had a good night! I didn't freak out for no apparent reason. Alcohol certainly makes me fly off the handle at the smallest things.
Maybe a glimpse of how normal people live? I don't know, but I liked it.
Have a wonderful day!
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