If you are given alcohol?

[Elsa]

Hi
I haven't posted for a long while, but I have kept trying. I had booked a week off work, and was ready for another (I know - how many more?) serious try. I had done 2 days, and was very positive, no alcohol in the house, no shopping trips planned to get any. However, I was bought a bottle of wine. And I drank it. No excuses, I was'nt force fed it, it was my decision to drink it.
So, my question is, if you are a secret drinker, how do you ask friends and family not to buy you alcohol, without revealing you are an alcoholic?
I should add that I am not ready, and probably never will be, to admit to them I have a problem.
Thanks for any advice.

[Doggygirl]

If you are given alcohol?

For myself, that sort of hiding and sneaking didn't work. I have had to go through the humbling experience of telling the truth not only to myself, but to others I care about. For me, it has actually been a relief to get the truth out in the open. If what you are doing doesn't work, I hope you will consider that.

Mean time, you better come up with some other lie so that you can try to stem the tide of AL flowing your way. On medication? On a diet? Alergy? Doctor's orders no AL? Something.

Strength and hope to you. This isn't easy. We didn't get this way by being bad people. The only way we could be "bad" would be to ignore the problem and continue to inflict pain on others as a result. You are trying to do the right thing and it's not easy, but it's the right thing.

DG

[mollyka]

If you are given alcohol?

Hi Elsa, reckon if you're a 'secret' drinker and you don't want them to know you are an alkie you prob can't stop them unless you tell them you are on a diet or something and that you are giving up the empty calories for a while?
I didn't announce to the world about my drinking problems - they all knew anyway I'm sure but I never verbalised it as such except with my hubs, the only thing is that the longer I come here and 'talk' to so many other lovely normal funny people who just happen to have a prob with AL I feel more casual about speaking to people about it. My eldest son was here the other day and I had a 'senior moment' couldn't remember someones name and I joked that I used to think it was the drink that caused the memory lapses and we both laughed very comfortably and moved on to the next conversation - it was good.
Good luck with the week off - actually why don't you just throw away your corkscrew? - just an idea!!
Molly

[Elsa]

If you are given alcohol?

Thank you for replying

Hi
Thank you for the replies DG and Molly. I think I'll go for I'm on a diet, that is believable from the size of me. I don't have your courage to admit that I have a 'problem', too many consequences both at work and at home.
Tomorrow is a new start, I will try again.
Once again, thank you for replying.

[Doggygirl]

If you are given alcohol?

Never stop trying Elsa. The important thing (IMO) is to come up with a solid plan. And if the plan doesn't work, then modify it. Do you have a written plan? There is a lot of good info in the Toolbox and on other threads. Just say the word if you would like help finding those threads. (the toolbox is a "sticky" at the top of the Monthly Abstinence section of the forum)

DG

[Elsa]

If you are given alcohol?

Thanks

Hi
I Have a written plan, which I will try to follow this time, but I have to keep hiding it away in case a family member drops by, if I see it infont of me as soon as I get home from work then I am kind of slapped in the face by it and take notice.
When it is hidden, so is my problem.
But I will keep trying, you are an inspiration.

[Lavande]

If you are given alcohol?

Hi Elsa,

Welcome back

Look here for good ideas https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[moglor]

If you are given alcohol?

Elsa, look at The Zone diet, or similar low carb diets. You should be educated on what you're telling people you're doing! :-) These diets are a great excuse to avoid alcohol, and they seem to work quite well! I'm 5 days AF now, been low carbing since the 7th, it's easy to avoid drinking when you get stuck somewhere with people and you play the low-carb card, just don't order the french fries. ;-)

-Moglor

[Boss.man]

If you are given alcohol?

I agree the diet story is good.

I'd be cautious about actively dieting while also getting through the first phases of detox.

Alcohol mucks with your body sugar (glucose). For people who have had a lot to drink in the past, your liver gets pretty good at using Alcohol for energy. Alcohol turns to Acetaldehyde, Acetic Acid (vinegar) and then Acetone (nail polish remover) which your muscles can burn. This is done in place of carbohydrate breakdown which yields glucose. Glucose (blood sugar) is used by all sorts of cell types for energy, but muscles can use alcohol byproducts also.

If you stop drinking for two days, and then jog for 20 minutes, if your muscles feel abnormally tired and achey it is likely they are accustom to burning alcohol byproducts. This is why people who drink tend to gain weight, and gain it in particular body areas like the face.

Part of Detox to let your body go back to burning food sugar. A secondary issue is to get it to burn off those ugly fat spots.

I'm all for low carb. It's the only diet that really burns the fat off for me. But a week or two of low-carb for me causes intense cravings for carbs, and alcohol. It's too much to stand. For me, what has worked long term (almost 2 years now) has been to do a general portion control diet WITH a lot of sweet desserts like fruit, low fat whipped cream, nuts and cookies. My evening sweets do a lot to decrease my evening craving for alcohol.

Find a friend to "store" the bottles for you, hopefully more than a mile away. Or just pour them out. Keep the priority list right. We can't all be strong 24 hours a day. Use the strong hours to cover for the weak ones. Just my $0.02

[mayday]

If you are given alcohol?

Boss.man;911460 wrote: I agree the diet story is good.

I'd be cautious about actively dieting while also getting through the first phases of detox.

Alcohol mucks with your body sugar (glucose). For people who have had a lot to drink in the past, your liver gets pretty good at using Alcohol for energy. Alcohol turns to Acetaldehyde, Acetic Acid (vinegar) and then Acetone (nail polish remover) which your muscles can burn. This is done in place of carbohydrate breakdown which yields glucose. Glucose (blood sugar) is used by all sorts of cell types for energy, but muscles can use alcohol byproducts also.

If you stop drinking for two days, and then jog for 20 minutes, if your muscles feel abnormally tired and achey it is likely they are accustom to burning alcohol byproducts. This is why people who drink tend to gain weight, and gain it in particular body areas like the face.

Part of Detox to let your body go back to burning food sugar. A secondary issue is to get it to burn off those ugly fat spots.

I'm all for low carb. It's the only diet that really burns the fat off for me. But a week or two of low-carb for me causes intense cravings for carbs, and alcohol. It's too much to stand. For me, what has worked long term (almost 2 years now) has been to do a general portion control diet WITH a lot of sweet desserts like fruit, low fat whipped cream, nuts and cookies. My evening sweets do a lot to decrease my evening craving for alcohol.

Find a friend to "store" the bottles for you, hopefully more than a mile away. Or just pour them out. Keep the priority list right. We can't all be strong 24 hours a day. Use the strong hours to cover for the weak ones. Just my $0.02

A really good post...am just at the airport about to board a flight but I agree 100% but cant write more right now

[mollyka]

If you are given alcohol?

Bossman, that was very interesting. I have to admit to not knowing much about the actual mechanics of all this giving up. How long does it take to get the body back to burning the food sugar? And when should the sugar cravings stop or do they ever?
GREAT point to 'use the strong hours to cover for the weak ones'. It would be so much easier to pour the wine down the sink at 7AM than at 7PM!!
Molly

[gyco]

If you are given alcohol?

Elsa;911246 wrote: Hi
I haven't posted for a long while, but I have kept trying. I had booked a week off work, and was ready for another (I know - how many more?) serious try. I had done 2 days, and was very positive, no alcohol in the house, no shopping trips planned to get any. However, I was bought a bottle of wine. And I drank it. No excuses, I was'nt force fed it, it was my decision to drink it.
So, my question is, if you are a secret drinker, how do you ask friends and family not to buy you alcohol, without revealing you are an alcoholic?
I should add that I am not ready, and probably never will be, to admit to them I have a problem.
Thanks for any advice.

hi elsa,interestin,got to get somthin out of the way,notall of us think of ourselves as alchoholics,as you go threw this spiral of life,keep clear,the only one that can say no is you,my wif e and i just went thro a sort of test,she stopped,she drank a botle a day,or less,but no side effects,normal people dont get withdrawl,they mite get a hangover,but no withdrawl,there not the ones with the problem,i being the the addiction,get sick,i dont no what Hell is,but if that s it,ive been there many times and back,i gues in my case,lack of common sense,i have an addiction,doesnt mean im an alchoholic,just shouldnt drink,as far as being ready,just being here takes a lot of class and you no what sometimes its good to kep things private,hope it helps gyco:goodjob:

[Guest]

If you are given alcohol?

Most of my family and close friends know about my drinking - they could hardly miss it. What I have been amazed at is that they knew about stuff I thought I'd hidden well from them. This means that some of the people who around you may already know, and simply not saying anything.

I do get into situations with people who give or offer me AL who I know via work. I'm in a very sensitive job and in certain situations it might not be great to admit I'm an alcoholic. So what do I do?If it's a present I say "Oh sorry to say this, but I don't drink" usually that's enough. If I am left with it I give it to a friend who will dispose of it and won't give it me back. Other times I have poured it down the loo. This is safer than the sink as it smells less!

I got to practise the "Sorry I don't drink" decline before I had stopped long term as I didn't want to make things worse for myself regards temptation etc and it's really easy now.

[Guest]

If you are given alcohol?

G'day Elsa. This is a very winnable battle. I did it and I was a serious pisshead.
All you need to know is this: ' I can do it and I will.' Say it often enough and it will work.
45 days for me now and I feel much better. Persistence is the key.