Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Had a meltdown last night

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    Had a meltdown last night

    So I tried to convince myself that I was able to moderate~ after all I only drink "about" 3 glasses of wine per night right? I never drink during the day......
    However, I am forgetting that I DO take pain killers during the day for constant back/leg/neck pain. This unfortunately is not going to go away.

    My husband has been unemployed since April and just can't seem to get a job, nor does he seem to care. He is very depressed and sits and watches TV all day. I am on "vacation" until August 2nd. Been off since May 27th. (Consequently no paycheck for me either)

    I am trying to handle all the bills, we have huge medical bills from two surgeries he had in December and January. I ask him for help and he says "OK" and then nothing......

    To try to get to the end of this story, I ended up with the hiccups last night around 8:30, and this I know is a sure sign I've had too much to drink. I started trying to drink water holding my breath, spilled it all over me and just burst into tears like my 2 yo grandson!!
    I went straight to bed crying all the way.........

    I can't do this anymore.......I need my husband to do something!! Just some of the many repairs I've asked him to do around the house would be nice! He's bringing me down with him........:upset:
    Tags: None
    #2
    Had a meltdown last night

    Oh Franzi, it sure sounds like you are having a very rough time. I think you put your finger on it when you said he was depressed - his behaviour is typically depressive and of course it is rubbing off on you. Can you sit him down and talk to him calmly about this? I'm sure he is unhappy too. When things are miserable its easy to turn to booze - I've done it plenty of times, but IT REALLY DOESN'T HELP! All it does is bury reality for a short period and then when we sober up it just all seems 10 times worse cos nothing actually gets dealt with.
    Have a good cry, that does help, and then do what you CAN control - leave the booze out of the equation and you will feel so much stronger you will be able to deal with stuff with a clear mind.
    Keep posting on here - it's a great support system and a place to vent!
    Molly
    Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
    contentedly NF since 8/04/14

    Comment

      #3
      Had a meltdown last night

      Franzi, I am hurting for you. It's so tough when you feel helpless to change someone. It's hard enough to make changes within yourself without trying to get some help from hubby who just can't seem to get it together. I echo Mollyka's advice but it's easier said than done as she alluded to. Try to take care of YOU. It's all you can do. Get out there after your "vacation" and do the best you can to earn money. Maybe if he sees you out there working, he'll get the message. I'll be thinking of you. Tip.
      Tipplerette

      I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

      "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
      ? Lao-Tzu

      Comment

        #4
        Had a meltdown last night

        Franzia I agree with the others and focus on yourself. I know depressed people are hard to deal with because I am one. He's probablt not really "watching" TV just staring at it lost in his own world. I do suggest you try to talk to him but don't bring up his depression. For some reason that will just make things worse. He could feel you don't understand his problem.
        Not trying to make things harder for you just trying to help.
        Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

        Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
        No more bad future-Skull Skates

        Comment

          #5
          Had a meltdown last night

          Thanks guys~
          I have talked to him about being depressed and he really doesn't respond.
          He just assumes I will take care of all the bill collectors and make phone calls and payment plans and I'm fine doing it. Today I have asked him to make one call~ so far he hasn't done it.
          I guess the reason I'm so frustrated is we really thought he had this past job interview in the bag. He had previously worked with the CEO of the company and they wanted him back the next day for another interview........and them BAM! They decided they are still interviewing.........through next week. He has had 4 interviews and none of them have panned out........which is making me wonder why?? His occupation is not one that just anyone can do~ he has 10 yrs experience as a HOA community manager. UGH!

          Comment

            #6
            Had a meltdown last night

            Well from experience to no response is because he doesn't want to drag you down with him. Even though he is. Depression is.a lot like alcoholism in where the person suffering from it thinks they are hiding it well and not hurting those around them. Its that kind of blindness. No one wants to admit to being either too. Looks like weakness. Ad in both cases the person has to want help for it to completly work.

            The lack of motivation is a dead on sign of depression.

            I've been through both alcoholism and depression at the same time so you can imagine what a joy I was to be around. If you got any questions I'm more than happy to try to help.
            Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

            Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
            No more bad future-Skull Skates

            Comment

              #7
              Had a meltdown last night

              Oh and you're also dealing with a shattered male ego. That's probably where the depression stems from. Men are "supposed" to provide take care of and protect the family. Well him losing his job is a huge failure in his eyes.
              Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

              Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
              No more bad future-Skull Skates

              Comment

                #8
                Had a meltdown last night

                franzi...
                I sooooooo feel your pain...my husband is in the same boat...but he is still active....but it's very stressful not having his income....
                I suffer from depression and doctors are wonderful and can put him on meds.....................
                good luck with this and let me know if I can help in anyway....
                I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                Live in the Solution....not the problem

                Comment

                  #9
                  Had a meltdown last night

                  Thanks Sk8 and Mama~

                  It definitely is a male ego thing I know....he gets up in the morning and has nowhere to go.
                  Sometimes he will get up super early (like he always did before) and then go back to bed a few hours later. Drives me crazy.

                  Good news though......he and my son are golfing in a tournament this weekend up North where it's much cooler. He was real excited about that.

                  As far as meds go......he was on antidepressants a few years back and also about 7 other meds the doctors just kept prescribing. He turned into a maniac! Dilusional, slept all the time, migraine headaches, I ended up calling paramedics at one point! We thought he had a stroke! He stopped ALL the meds and within 2 weeks was back to his normal self. It was crazy!!

                  So now both of us are afraid for him to take anything. I have been able to get him to the gym a few times in the past couple of weeks so I'm thinking that has got to help, right??

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Had a meltdown last night

                    yes, exercise should help, but he really needs to be on ONE anti depressant, not a cocktail of 7....
                    I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                    Live in the Solution....not the problem

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Had a meltdown last night

                      omg~

                      Ya think?
                      And I'm a nurse! I don't know why I didn't see what was happening.......I just kept thinking "maybe this will help". He wasn't taking 7 antidepressants, but onother med for migraines, one for sleep, one for "waking him up", one for blood pressure, and the one that finally broke the straw was the testosterone!! Then he became just wild! I can't even remember all he was taking but needless to say we don't see that doctor any longer.
                      I have talked to others who have had the same experience with this particular physician.
                      I should file a complaint.
                      Went swimming with my grandson this afternoon and then out to dinner~ they just left. Whew! I'm exhausted!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Had a meltdown last night

                        Hey mama bear, have saw your posts a few times and your pic. Just really never saw it lol. Bravo to you

                        Comment

                        Previous template Next
                        Working...
                        X