need some help

[K9Lover]

need some help

Hi Piglet!
I can so relate to your post. I too was a nighttime only drinker, alone, in front of the TV or the computer (which led to some drunk emailing, but that's a whole nother story!). The key at first it to fill your time, replace your drinking time with ANYthing else. I spent the first few evenings away from home (since that's where the scene of the crime took place). Go to the library, a park, go shopping...anything to distract yourself. Then treat yourself to a nice hot bath and a book before bed. Before you know it, those days will be racking up, and alcohol will move farther and farther out of your mind. I know it's not easy at first, I've had so many stops and starts, and millions of "Day 1's"...just hang in there, and never quit quitting.
I'm hoping the best for you! We're here if you need us :h
K9

[mollyka]

need some help

Piglet, I concur with everything already said, but just to stress one point, the alcohol is barely out of your system after 3 days so its just topping up really. Until the booze is out of your system for quite a while a couple of weeks at least, the longings don't ease at all, so you are constantly in a cycle of drinking, longing, drinking etc.
Like Ktab says you need 100% commitment to this and even if it seems very hard at first, decide to give it 10-20 days no matter what and then see can you go for the 30 days, and see where you are in your head? And yes to achieve that you need to deal with it ODAT! Give it a chance to work - it really is worth it.
Molly

[clare]

need some help

Piglet everything already said is so right and these people really know what there talking about,you can do it keep posting,

[Doggygirl]

need some help

piglet;912520 wrote: Hi Ktab and jackieclaire
Yes the toolbox is great and I am working on a plan. i need to write down all these thing and make a serious effort. By getting your guys input on this I can see that I have been lazy in my attempts and they have been half hearted. time to take stock!!

Hi Piglet and welcome to the forum. You have said lots of important things and you have gotten lots of great responses. IMO, the most important thing for you to think about is the sentence I highlighted. If you are an alcoholic (or addict or whatever word you like to use) than giving it up is not easy. For me, it was hard enough that there was NO WAY I could succeed with a half hearted attempt. Even 99% got me to a relapse after 60 days.

I had to really examine my feelings about alcohol and truly committ 100% to the cause in order to have a prayer of giving it up.

Your honesty is a fabulous step in the right direction. Strength and hope to you!

DG

[TalulaBlue]

need some help

piglet thank you so much for starting this thread.
This is me exactly to a tee! until last thursday that is, one of my kids said something to me, it was the kick in the teeth i needed to see what i was doing to myself and to them. I found this site by pure accident when looking for stuff on alcohol abuse and oh boy am i glad i did! look at the advice it's thrown up alone on this. I never ever want to feel that way again and for me it has to be a case of never drinking again, i know deep down i could never moderate or control it, my way of coping when i'm craving is to keep fresh in my mind what was said and just take it one day at a time following advice that's given on here.
I've never been 8 days AF in my life and something i thought i could never achieve, i will admit my head is just racing sometimes with the devil trying to tempt me i but i refuse to be drawn. Even today as i've mentioned on another post i usually go shopping on a friday after work, i didn't go tonight so as i wasn't faced with the "well you've been good for over a week so a little drink won't hurt" scenario because i don't do little, I've decided i'm going to go tomorrow morning before the supermarket can legally sell alcohol.
Having a plan and sticking to it is really the only way to go.

TBx

[mollyka]

need some help

Hey Talula, love the idea with the not shopping after work. I do the same thing, these are the seemingly little things that actually when you add them up make the difference between success and failure, my hubs has to buy his own wine now cos I'm never in the supermarket when the offie is open and he is drinking less cos invariably he forgets to buy any, so double result!! (not that he has a problem - lucky bugger!!)
Molly

[TalulaBlue]

need some help

Molly, i know what you mean, my hub rarely drinks and what he drinks i don't like so in a way bonus for me and my recovery :thumbs:

[piglet]

need some help

Thank you everyone for all your helpful responses. I feel overwhelmed that you have all taken the time out to post for me. Now that I have the support of all you people I don't feel so lonely in trying to stop. I have now completed 2 days AF. Today I was crabby to my hubby but luckily he is pretty understanding. This is no walk in the park! I kaept really busy today. All the jobs that have been neglected usually because i was too hungover to them. I feel ashamed that I left my home in such a state. Normally I have more pride. Another lesson learnt. The feeling of pride that I got from cleaning up the front porch area and the patio mad me feel so good inside. I really do love to be productive. Ok on to the next day 3 which is a hard one. So I'll keep busy again and check in tomorrow. Think I might join the newby nest. Good luck too Tahlula. We can help each other.
:l Piggy

[Doggygirl]

need some help

Good for you Piggy! I too really let myself and my home go in the latter years of my drinking. It really IS nice to take more care of my home and myself these days. I like to write a lot of things down like this that I can look at if (when) urges strike. I'm not very sane when I'm gripped by an urge, so having some important stuff in writing really helps me. Some of the written things I keep:

1. My gratitude list - all the things in my life I am grateful for. (I add to it often!)
2. List of reasons why I would rather be sober than drunk / hungover.
3. List of things to do so I can easily pick one when an urge strikes.

YOU CAN DO IT! All of us who are sober now have gotten through day 3/4. You can do it too.

DG

[Pie]

need some help

Doggygirl;913674 wrote: I'm not very sane when I'm gripped by an urge, so having some important stuff in writing really helps me.DG

So true, DG! Hadn't thought about what happens to my thinking during a craving, but I think you nailed it. The most powerful urges cause me to lose control of my own mind, the demons take over, and it's damn difficult to get back in touch will all my reasons for quitting. Today I will work on those lists and make sure to keep them close.

Welcome piglet and Talula!

Pie