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    #16
    Family Court

    Thank you so much Johnny,
    You are right - the prospect of losing a child is extremely distressing, though i have to remain rational through all this, I have lots of support on my side. I did come on here to get some support, though I know my issues seem to go round and round in circles.. but I am going through alot of stress, and alot of different issues keep presenting themselves to me. This is probably going to be the toughest time in my life.. and many people are lucky enough to never have to go through custody battles with a narcisstic ex who wants to drag over every little part of my history.. yes, I know he loves his son - but for the past year he has not been reliable at all and often did not turn up at all to pick our son up.. I have been managing financially with no support from him, and as a single mum, managed to get my son in daycare so i could work.. my ex did nothing to support me at all.. only now its going to Family Court (which was my decision) as i was sick of his unreliablitly, and his verbal abuse of me in front of our son..
    Thank you KTAB.. I am staying AF, and it does feel great to have the clarity of mind to see clearly what is happening, so I can think things through.. and know I am doing this for my son.. I am serious about changing, improving and being a better person.. I so dont want to repeat past mistakes.. that's why I came on here.. and keeping away from AL also proves how much I have changed and improved..
    katie x
    "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

    :groupluv:

    Comment


      #17
      Family Court

      Hi Katie

      I am going to echo the words of everyone here and particulary KTAB. The courts do see this every day and they will see the situation clearly. You cannot change your ex and you cannot change yesterday......you have been working really hard at giving yourself and your son a better tomorrow and I am sure that will shine through.

      As hard as it may be to relax you NEED to know that you have been doing some really hard work on your issues which hopefully will put you in a better position to dealing with court.

      Know that all of us will be thinking of you and hope that you get the result that you deserve.

      Sending you love and strength. x:l
      "You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down." Mary Pickford:h

      Comment


        #18
        Family Court

        Thank you Blinder,
        I have done some hard work on myself.. and that will be proven in court.. I have and am getting all the help I need with my issues.. I am on the waiting list for rehab (not for detox but for therapy) and am looking after our son the best I can.. my ex has done nothing to get help for his problems..
        I truly hope I get a good result this time.. the assault case did not go the way i wanted it to at all.. that was a big reason i had a breakdown last month.. but i will endeavour to stay strong with this one regardless of the outcome.. especially now I have an amazing partner by my side,
        katie xx
        "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

        :groupluv:

        Comment


          #19
          Family Court

          Also, (in response to Kate1's comments)
          I just want to say that "fighting" for your child DOES prove love.. If I didn't love my son, I would not care.. and would not be in court about all this.. I am in court to protect my son - my ex was constantly verbally abusing me in front of him, unreliable, and used our son as blackmail against me time and again.. this is why it is now in court.. I am the one who seeked Mediation, my ex refused, and continued to harrass me, so we were deemed unsuitable..
          "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

          :groupluv:

          Comment


            #20
            Family Court

            Katie, I think kate's point was on a different level. You seem to be expending a tremendous amount of energy in upholding your victim position. Much of your energy is about things your ex did to you and your struggle to have that acknowledged. Have you considered the idea that all things happen for a reason, whether you realize it or not at that moment? Have faith and trust in yourself. When you play the victim, you are undermining yourself. You seem to justify your accomplishments by comparing them to his miserable failures and your accomplishments are worthy to stand on their own. Love yourself as much as you love your son. Check out Suzanne Bovenzier's site and see if there are some chakra meditations you feel would help you.
            sigpic
            Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

            Comment


              #21
              Family Court

              Thanks greeneyes..
              I know i need to get rid of my "victim" mentality - its time I moved on.. and I am learning to love myself, slowly.. i am going to rehab soon which will help me hugely i think.. i am looking forward to putting this mess behind me and truly moving on from all this.
              "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

              :groupluv:

              Comment


                #22
                Family Court

                hi cant say i envy you,isnt it odd you both loved or cared for each other once,my nehew is going threw the same thing rt now,but it isnt him,its his ex,she got the kids,she got the financial support,and she doesnt work and wanted more from him,amagine that,but now shes been caught,she has a drug problem,over the counter and other drugs,from what i no in canada,he has the rt to ask the courts for a random drug test anytime he wants,for the safetyof his kids,maybe if your husband is taking drugs or marij anna,imaybe the laws down under are the same,i hope it helps and i do wish you well gyco

                Comment


                  #23
                  Family Court

                  Thanks Gyco,
                  I wil consider asking the courts to do drug testing on my ex. I wouldn't want him looking after my son if he is stoned! thanks for the advice.. it certainly is a tough time, but I know many have gone through this before so i will endeavour to remain strong,
                  "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

                  :groupluv:

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Family Court

                    Amazon.com: A Kidnapped Mind: A Mother's Heartbreaking Memoir of Parental…

                    How do we begin to describe our love for our children? Pamela Richardson shows us with her passionate memoir of life with and without her estranged son, Dash. From age five, Dash suffered Parental Alienation Syndrome at the hands of his father. Indoctrinated to believe his mother had abandoned him, after years of monitored phone calls and impeded access, eight-year-old Dash decided he didn't want to be 'forced' to visit her at all; later, he told her he would never see her again if she took the case to court. But, he didn't count on his indefatigable mother's fierce love. For eight more years, Pamela battled Dash's father, the legal system, their psychologist, the school system, and Dash himself to try and protect her son - first from his father, then from himself. "A Kidnapped Mind" is a heartrending and mesmerising story of a Canadian mother's exile from and reunion with her child, through grief and beyond, to peace.

                    Katie, I would strongly suggest you read this book and do a search on Parental Alienation Syndrome.

                    Many Blessings
                    Phil
                    "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
                    Clean and sober 25th January 2009

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Family Court

                      wow hippie you are a VERY DEEP PERSON,in my day you would of made a great hippie,as time goes on,we feel our, for fathers rath,as one travels thro time and sees wrong,they will do wrong,if one feels neglect,they will show neglect,just like if one has alcholism in there past,they will entertain alchoholism,life is like a train,if one unit get s out of line,they all get out of line,wisdom of the day,thnx hips gyco

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Family Court

                        Thanks Hippie,
                        I think I will give that a read.. I do fear my ex will alienate my son from me.. which is why Community Services here do not want my ex having custody of our son, and are supporting me instead. Though my ex is an evil ba**ard, i have never "bad-mouthed" him to our son, yet he has done and said some terrible things in front of our son.. 2 days to go - wish me luck!
                        "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

                        :groupluv:

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Family Court

                          Gyco;915183 wrote: hi cant say i envy you,isnt it odd you both loved or cared for each other once,my nehew is going threw the same thing rt now,but it isnt him,its his ex,she got the kids,she got the financial support,and she doesnt work and wanted more from him,amagine that,but now shes been caught,she has a drug problem,over the counter and other drugs,from what i no in canada,he has the rt to ask the courts for a random drug test anytime he wants,for the safetyof his kids,maybe if your husband is taking drugs or marij anna,imaybe the laws down under are the same,i hope it helps and i do wish you well gyco
                          If you use this one couldn't he use Katie's drinking in the same way?Make her go for testing too?

                          My limited experience of court - civil as well as criminal is to keep things clean cut, simple and cool.

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Family Court

                            A 'successful morning'..

                            Well, family court went pretty well this morning.. the case has been adjourned for another 4-5 months.. in the meantime I would have gone to rehab!
                            The current orders are staying in place, which is fantastic.. my son is going to remain living with me, and just seeing his father on weekends.. I am very happy right now! :-)
                            "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

                            :groupluv:

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Family Court

                              Good to hear Katie. Be sure to keep detailed dcoumentation of all that happens between him and yourself incase you need it on 5 months time.
                              Diggin' being alive

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Family Court

                                Thanks woywoyboy.. I will keep a record of everything.. I have learnt it comes in very handy!
                                "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

                                :groupluv:

                                Comment

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