Can I stop with just one drink?

[Mighty Mouse II]

Hello everybody. Today, I am trying a new idea, that is, to only drink one glass of wine at a time. I'm trying to train myself so that ultimately I will be satisfied with just one glass of wine. Honestly, I don't know if I can do it because I'm never satisfied until it is all gone (not usually satisfied then but have to stop anyway!):sigh: I don't know about anyone else, but one of the most depressing moments of my day is when that last bottle of wine is empty. Sometimes I just have to have another. Recently, I decided to keep a miniature size bottle of brandy in the house just so I would know that if I really needed another drink after my wine was gone I would have something. It was sort of a baby step towards self-control because I don't like "hard" alcohol and I knew I would only drink it if I felt desperate for another drink. But it kept me from buying yet another bottle of wine. It did help. It gave me the security of knowing I did have some alcohol available if I ran out of wine and still needed to drink. It worked really well for me to not feel in a panic or fearful that I would need another drink and not have it available. Yet, it also put me in the mindset to set a goal to have some alcohol left at the end of the day.

So, I've decided to experiment and try to take it to the next level. I am trying to drink one glass of wine at a setting, and then go do something. It is EXTREMELY hard for me to do this. But what is helping me is the thought that even though I am walking away now, I haven't run out, and I will still have an opportunity to enjoy more later today. But by knowing that I only have this one glass to enjoy at this time, I find that I am drinking it much, much slower, "nursing" every little sip and it isn't gaining control of me like it usually does. I feel in control in a funny sort of way. I am hoping over time that it will give me a sense of confidence to have control over the alcohol instead of the other way around. I have tried this throughout the week and it has been working. But now it is the weekend and I look forward to weekends to "cut loose". So I'm struggling. I usually drink at least one big bottle of wine, most of the time two and I start at about 8:00 in the morning because I cook on Saturday morning and I like to drink while I cook. Today, I only bought a small bottle, I didn't drink until lunch and had only one glass, and boy, did I drink it SLOW!!!! It is nice to know that I have a whole bottle left, but I am embarrassed to say that I cannot wait until cocktail hour. At cocktail hour, I am planning to have one glass, and then, put it aside and not have another glass until dinner (3 hours after coctail hour). After dinner, I am planning on exercising because when I do, I don't feel like drinking afterwards. And I'm going to bed early. I hope I can make it!!! As I write, three glasses of wine in a day seems like a lot, but it is soooo far below what I normally drink, and I am trying to set realistic but challenging goals for myself. THIS ONE IS REALLY CHALLENGING!!!! If I fail, at least I will have drank less than I normally do, and I will know to set a less strenuous goal for tomorrow.

IF ANYBODY OUT THERE HAS ANY ADVICE THAT MIGHT HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH, I WOULD WELCOME SOME SUGGESTIONS -- I REALLY HOPE I CAN DO THIS!!!! :crossed:

Please pray for me
MM

[annie75]

Can I stop with just one drink?

Hi MM

I think you seem to be much more in control of your drinking.I,too have cut down to 3 glasses of wine a day (what is it with wine....i love the stuff! lol)I found a great help to me was saying - i want a glass now but il wait til 4pm,then 4.30pm,wait til 5.The longer i put it off the less i can drink as i get so tired.I dont have a drink until my kids are in bed and it is usually around 9pm.This is such an improvement for me and i feel im in control now as it is no longer taking over my life.I even drove last night (a first for me) when me and my partner went out as i promised myself id have a few when we came home.I had 2 and went to bed.
I think by making we promises to myself that i will get one eventually makes it easier to stay in control.I think if i don't stay in control then il totally have to abstain and i certainly don't want to do that!!!!
Just my penny's worth!!!!

hugs,
annie x

[Mighty Mouse II]

Can I stop with just one drink?

Thanks Annie. It sounds like you are doing exactly what I am TRYING to do! It is a real positive reinforcement to know that there is someone out there already successfully doing. I really appreciate the feedback.

MM

[lushy]

Can I stop with just one drink?

Hi Mighty, I have found that for moderation to work for me I have to have a couple of AF days during the week because I do not want to stop at 1-2. I wish I could but not part of my makeup. So if I go a few days without then I do not feel guilty about having 4-6 on the weekends. It is all such an individual thing though, that is for sure.

[Mighty Mouse II]

Can I stop with just one drink?

Thanks Lush. This is really stressful. I'm making it. I had one drink at lunch. I started cocktail hour at 4:30. I still have a half of glass of wine. Dinner is at 8. But this is not pleasant. Trying to change behavioral patterns rarely is an easy task. I don't know if I'm going to do this tomorrow. I'll see how I feel at the end of the day. I know one thing. If I do make it through today with only three drinks, I'm going to do something really special for myself tomorrow -- I see a shopping day coming!!!!

Thanks for the feedback. I did have one alcohol free day last week, but it was the first in a long time. I admire you for being able to do that during the week. I think that is extremely difficult. I really want to drink less on the weekend because I really feel bad the next day. It is really hard for me to get anything done on Monday! But I think I may have set my sights a little high with only three drinks.

Thanks for the support.
MM

[Guest]

Can I stop with just one drink?

Can so relate...

Hi Mighty Mouse II

Reading yr post I so felt like I was hearing my own thoughts. I too get terrified at the prospect of having no alcohol or even having to limit myself. I have tried it before and it was so hard but felt really good for it. Then eventually ended up back to old ways. It is definitely worth a try. Ideally I would love to be able to not drink at all in the week but go out at wends and socialise and have a few without getting out of control.
I hope that u r successful and even if u end up having 4 instead of 3 then dont feel a failure it is still a huge success as probably alot less than usual. Good luck and plse keep us updated with how it goes. Maybe I should try this again...

[WaitingToExhale]

Can I stop with just one drink?

MM it must be tough .. but you are doing it!

Yes YES! ... the single glass thing is a biggie for me as well. I used to just just keep topping off my glass until the bottle(s) were gone ...now i pour a glass ... sip ... and then decide when to have one more.

I've managed 6 glasses for thepast two days .. a MAJOR drop for me .. about half of what I used to drink ...

Oh and I can relate to the cooking and early morning drinks! Keep thnking about us here ... I'm right behind you ...

I fake myself out a bit by drinking my rootbeer out of a wine glass .. LOL Hey! Whatever works!

WaitingToExhale

[Mighty Mouse II]

Can I stop with just one drink?

You are all so great!! We all seem to have so much in common! Annie, I really admire you that you can wait until late and that it is helping you. I tried that about a week before I joined this forum, and it is partially what prompted me to search for help. When I started drinking later in the day, I didn't drink less, I just drank faster!!! It was probably the most drunk I had ever gotten. Waiting To Exhale, I think you and I are probably in the same space in terms of where we are in this process. I also enjoy drinking other things out of the big bowl goblets, ice tea, orange juice. I also think that six glasses a day is GREAT!! It is actually borderline normal in some countries, like Southern France. And Lush, you seem to really have found your space. It would be difficult for me to have AF days! I did have one last week out of happenstance, but it probably isn't going to be in my goals for a long time. While I would like to be a weekend drinker, I think this would probably be the most difficult challenge, at least for me. I am trying to modify my drinking through behavioral change only (as well as my normal nuitrition and exercise). In order for behavioral changes to be successful, they usually require a constant repetitition until they become mundaine. It is much easier if it is a daily activity. I am comfortable with sharing a bottle of wine at night with my husband and/or having a glass at lunch when I go out to lunch, INCLUDING WEEKENDS. This is my goal, and it is consistent with American Medical Association's alcohol consumption recommendations. In fact, if consumed in this matter, tests have shown that there are actual health benefits. So this is my goal, BUT I AM A LONG WAY OFF!!!! The other challenge for me isn't in reaching the goal, but in sustainability over time. I think this is something that I will always have to guard against my entire life. It doesn't help that I actually enjoy drinking, and I seem to do so without consequences. The major driving force for me is that I don't want anything controlling me. The problem with using "control" as the key determinative factor is that in dealing with alcohol, I often don't know when I'm out of control. So, that is why I am trying to limit myself to the AMA's recommendations. But I have a long way to go to achieve it and even a greater ways to go to sustain it.

I CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU HOW GREAT I THINK ALL OF YOU ARE FOR SHARING WITH ME AND HELPING ME THROUGH THIS.

THANK YOU!!!!!
MM

[Mighty Mouse II]

Can I stop with just one drink?

Hi Ding Dong. Yes, I made it through!! I had only three drinks yesterday spacing each one out throughout the day! But it was SO HARD!!!! Quite frankly, I really didn't know if I could do it again today. I got right on the forum, and as always, I got so much support. I shared some of my feelings under the thread "That Empty Feeling - Ode To Wine".

On another note, I have to admit, I want so badly to reward myself for yesterday by approaching today in total abandonment. But, I know that it would be the greatest mistake that I could make! I am attempting to facilitate behavioral modification to solve my drinking problem. That means that my days must be consistent, with little variation, even on the weekend. There can be no "free" day. I also know that I will have days when I don't make it, and I will have to get back up and go right back to my program. However, that is different then setting myself up to fail by granting myself a free day.

So, what I decided to do was to allow myself a small reward, that is, I can have up to four glasses today. I am still going to try to do three glasses, but if I really need a fourth, I can have it. By setting this goal, it is a simulation of the brandy. There is that extra glass if I need it. It would be a real coo if I could go to bed sober with wine still in the house!!!! Truly, I don't know if I can do it, but I'm going to give it my best try. I actually have used non-alcoholic wines before. The white wine is terrible!!! The cabernet tastes like bad grape juice, and the Zinfindel is a nothing. But interestingly enough, if you mix the white and the red, it does taste very similar to real wine. And if you take the red and add a little Bitters to it (the stuff you put in Champaigne to make Pink Champagne), it is amazingly similar. The problem is that most of us here are not here because of taste and none of these things provides the feeling that real wine produces. When going that route for me the best alternative has been making a Sangria by adding orange juice to my red wine, or adding a little purple grape juice to my wine (but just a litte - it doesn't take much grape juice to take away the taste of the wine).

Thanks Ding Dong for caring enough to ask about my challenge yesterday and for giving me this advice. It is very solid.

THANKS,
MM

[skootiemom]

Can I stop with just one drink?

A reward

Hi Mighty, Annie and others!

I am so glad I checked into this site just now. I think we gals were seperated at birth! I too LOVE my wine... I love to cook and to have wine while I am cooking! Up until yesterday, I had gone 13 days without a drop of alcohol. Last night we had plans to attend a party and I struggled with the idea of being able to have a few drinks or not. You see, my plan was to go 30 days and then to start heavy into the controlled/ moderated drinking. Last night I decided thatsince I was not choosing to totally abstain from alcohol forever, why was I waiting?

I think, for me, like going on a diet ( you know, the "I'll grocery shop and start Monday thing we say to ourselves... that works so well???? NOT!) , I decided that I would have 2 glasses of nice wine followed by some red bull and non alcoholic beer. I too was the Designated Driver for the first time in a long time last night! I thought to myslf that I can just change starting now... I was okay and felt good when went to bed.

Today I woke up feeling like I had failed by having 2 glasses of wine. That I had somehow rationalized to myself that it was ok and was beating myself about it. After going through these posts now, I am not going to beat myself up and write off the whole program. Just like eating more ice cream, after 'blowing the diet anyways'.... I am not going to let two glasses of wine sabbotage my goals! I can do this- it will be a daily struggle and nothing I can plan for. I was reminded that this is why I am here- and I am sooooooo glad I found this place!

Skootie

[lushy]

Can I stop with just one drink?

Skootie, I think you need to be really proud of yourself if moderation is your goal. 13 days without and then only two glasses last night. That is excellent moderating in my book.

[Mighty Mouse II]

Can I stop with just one drink?

Hi Scootie. I think lush is right. You are doing exemplary. Whether you ultimately want to quit altogether or, like me, hope to become a moderate drinker, you are dowing WONDERFULLY WELL!!! I also think you are wise not to quit the program EVER!!! This type of program is a process and pays tribute to the old adage "nothing beats a success but a failure". Who is more the failure? A person who is drinking more than they want but is afraid to try to cut back because they might fail? Or a person who drinks excessively, trys, then fails, but keeps trying and gets a little closer and a little closer to their goal with each step (albeit in an up-and-down context). The later is ultimately not only more successful, but more accomplished and confident in themselves. I THINK YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!!! I can't wait until the day when I consider two glasses of wine a failure!!!

Thanks for sharing. Please keep posting.
MM