I last visited this site in 2007, I think. In the meantime, I have had ups and downs with alcohol, mostly downs of course, but there were times when I thought I was managing it decently well, which for an alcoholic is a lot. I only admit to being one to my cat and my husband, who is very supportive but thinks it is serious only when I really hit the bottom, and luckily this does not happen as often as it used to. However, the point is only that I've been drinking so much that I handle it better than I used to, but my alcohol consumption has actually gotten worse. I just take more time to get wasted. Also, I haven't drunk and driven for at least two years now because one day I realized how lucky I had been up to that moment and swore I'd never do it again...but I simply still drink a lot and:upset::upset: somebody else - my husband - drives...Another big thing is my weight and the poor self esteem that comes with it...I keep on thinking about the days when I could go out with friends for drinks, dinners, celebrations and so on, drink without problems and have a good time...and that was it. I have always had a thing for alcohol, back then too, but somehow I could control it...and I was in great shape too. Now, instead, I can perfectly well drink two bottles of wine a night and get mad if I don't have the second...to think that 5 years ago two,three beers on my nights out would have made me happy and that was it.
Well...I could go on with my rumblings for another 2 pages, but maybe I should stop here. I don't know what I am looking for...I just stumbled on this site after so long...
I guess I am looking for the magic formula for moderation...I'll never be able to wrap my mind around the abstinence-forever thing....
Thanks for listening,
H&S
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