Never started a thread except in the joke section. Well this is no joke. I clearly cannot moderate at this time. Although I can have some really fun times with friends, the times I use alcohol to medicate have been gaining on me. I cannot take the first drink and guarantee myself that I won?t go overboard. It?s a crap shoot and I am not a gambler. I drink to escape my pain. Even if I don?t drink the pain will not go away, so I will just chose to live with the pain and do the best that I can. This cannot include alcohol.
I will need to put a plan in place more than ever now. I will be lonelier than ever because I will have to refuse ?fun? invitations for awhile. So be it.
This is very embarrassing to admit but to continue to claim I am trying to moderate when I clearly am not able is more embarrassing. I admire those who have been very honest and open about their struggles. I hope that I can do the same.
Day 3 today.
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