ODAT JULY 26, 2110

[Ringing Cedars]

GOOD MORNING ODAT?RS

Never started a thread except in the joke section. Well this is no joke. I clearly cannot moderate at this time. Although I can have some really fun times with friends, the times I use alcohol to medicate have been gaining on me. I cannot take the first drink and guarantee myself that I won?t go overboard. It?s a crap shoot and I am not a gambler. I drink to escape my pain. Even if I don?t drink the pain will not go away, so I will just chose to live with the pain and do the best that I can. This cannot include alcohol.
I will need to put a plan in place more than ever now. I will be lonelier than ever because I will have to refuse ?fun? invitations for awhile. So be it.
This is very embarrassing to admit but to continue to claim I am trying to moderate when I clearly am not able is more embarrassing. I admire those who have been very honest and open about their struggles. I hope that I can do the same.
Day 3 today.

[NoraC]

ODAT JULY 26, 2110

Hey Ringing - I'm right there with you girl. :l

[mama bear]

ODAT JULY 26, 2110

Hello ladies...
I know how hard this is....and honesty really helps....
ODAT for me......sober weekend and sober Monday!!

[OverIt2007]

ODAT JULY 26, 2110

Hi Mama, Hi Ringing, Hi Nora,


Ringing, I certainly relate to the not being able to moderate. Im the same type of drinker as you are, when that first drink goes down its a gamble as to where it will go. Its a gamble thats just too risky and dangerous to take I know.

Im glad you are being honest, like Mama said. Honestly is a step to progress for sure. Im sorry you are feeling lonely and in pain. The alcohol may numb us out for a while, but the pain never really goes away, its still there to be dealt with.

Wishing you much strength,peace, and happiness. This too shall pass remember!

P.S. Want you to know that I may be sober, but definately having some up and down days too! Dont feel alone ok??? BIG HUG!!!

[Ringing Cedars]

ODAT JULY 26, 2110

Hey Oi...thanks for your kind words. This too doesn't pass though. That is the biggest problem with trying to make it pass or hope it will pass. No amount of counselling, encouragement, support, detours or substitutes will ever take the pain away of being alienated from my children. I recently just brought it all to the surface again by trying to reach out with absolutely know response. The only way out is death and I'm not going there, be sure. I just have to live with it.

[OverIt2007]

ODAT JULY 26, 2110

Ringing, I have no idea why your children are behaving this way. Im sure its a long story. I dont see any excuse for a child not to reach out to a parent who loves them and wants to make amends, I know there is nothing you could have done "that" bad for them to justify this behavior.

They seem to just have hard hearts right now, and they "think" this is the best way to handle this?? They are so wrong. I sincerely hope their hearts soften up a bit towards you, and they soon realize that the pain this is causing all of you is just not worth it! Im really sorry you are having to go through this, but remember... you have to take care of yourself too! I know... easier said then done.