Stupid stupid me

[mollyka]

Stupid stupid me

Flip, one way or another this disease is potentially fatal to all of us. I fell and hit my head 18 months ago, I was unconscious for quite some time, had to be ambulanced 100 miles to hospital, had a moxy load of stitches and when I look back I know I could have died. My head still has a numb spot and it took me 12 months to get over dizzy spells and memory loss - I still get an awful lot of headaches and wonder are they related. The point I'm trying to make is whether we do it to ourselves or whether it is caused by accident when drunk - the end result is potential death, and we PUT that stuff in our bodies!!
Be gentle with yourself, life is very precious, it sometimes doesn't seem that way when we are drinking cos everything seems such a mess, but it is precious and we only have one go at it
Molly:soothe:

[Kimberley]

Stupid stupid me

Flip, just wanted to send you a :l My arms and wrists are a testament to over a decade of people pissing me off, stressing me out and generally upsetting me. About 5 years ago I promised one of my very close friends that I would stop doing it - he was asking me to with tears in his eyes.

Since then I have only done it a handful of times and never to the extent that I had done before (ie. being taken to A & E etc). The scars will never go, but they make me proud in a way because they remind me that this is something I have overcome - there are no fresh marks.

As for your girlfrined, to misquote Eleanor Roosevelt: No-one can make you feel bad unless you give them permission to. I hope you can find the strength to take control of the cutting, the drinking and your life.

Warm wishes,
K x

[Jewels83]

Stupid stupid me

Oh flip. :l You are NOT stupid!!! This disease got a hold of you again. Please, please go to that appt. with the doctor. Nobody is worth hurting and killing yourself over. Please keep in touch and let us know that you are ok.

:h Julie

[KatieB]

Stupid stupid me

Flip,
I am so very sorry to hear about this.. I truly hope you get some professional help.. I have a long history of self-harming so I understand totally the pain that led you to do that.
I urge you to see a professional counsellor/psychotherapist.. they really do work - though sometimes it takes seeing a couple until you find the one that is right for you. As for the drinking.. as you probably know, AL exacerbates the problems for those of us with low self-esteem/depression - it may "work" in the short-term, but leads to so many other problems, and ends up destroying us. I have lost so much through AL.. I suggest you talk to your GP too and see about going on some medication? see what they suggest.. as with all anti-anxiety and anti-depressants, it is strongly advisable not to drink whilst taking them. Please go and get the help you need.. you need to mend your broken heart too.. I too have been heart-broken a couple of times.. but remember we cannot control others, only ourselves.. don't give your power away to others, keep your power within you.. and put yourself first.. take care,
xxx

[Bandit]

Stupid stupid me

Fliptop,

I still have a massive dent and hole in my hall wall at the end of the stairs where I fell down the stairs head first and straight into the wall - about this time two years ago..my hubby wasn't at home so my little girl who would have only been about 6 at the time had to call the next door neighbour to phone him and tell him that i had been 'sleepwalking again' as she calls it..plus my neighbour had to come into the house where at that stage I had plucked myself off the ground and was passed out on the couch in the living room.

My hubby still hasn't fixed it and i haven't tried either.it stays there as a constant reminder that i genuinely could have killed myself that day and if my neighbour hadnt been in my kids would have been sitting there looking at me helpless for hours until my hubby came home from work. He has said he will not fix it until he feels he can walk out the door in the morning knowing that he is not going to come home to a scene like that again.

Anyway, i am not sure what point i am making and i have no idea how you are feeling at the moment but i hope everything will be ok, giving up the AL in my humble opinion is the best way you can ensure that it is:l

[Chillgirl]

Stupid stupid me

Flip - Im so sorry you felt so bad, next time you feel like this please come here and talk to someone, if Im online send me a PM and I will skype you x

[Flip Top]

Stupid stupid me

off to see the doctor in 10 mins, hope all goes well...

[one2many]

Stupid stupid me

Good luck hon, report back ok?

[mollyka]

Stupid stupid me

Just spotted your post Flip so reckon you at the Docs now - hope all went well and that they will be able to help you any which way. Thinking of you
Molly

[Flip Top]

Stupid stupid me

darn my head feels a complete mess - The hospital hasn't spoken to my doctor yet so now I have to go back on Monday. all he gave me was a prescription for more anti D's. Asked about drugs to keep me away from al but he didnt allow me any and said its my responsibility

[rebirth]

Stupid stupid me

Hey Flip... wonder why he wouldnt give you any meds for alcohol? Maybe a bad mix with your anti D's?

[Rusty]

Stupid stupid me

Hi Flip,

I have been in your shoes....although I haven't cut myself, I can understand your frustration with you doctor. Please, please, do what I did and find a doctor who has experience with addictions. We are all here for you....

xoxxoxoxox

Rusty

[Guest]

Stupid stupid me

I used to do daft things to hurt myself although never cutting. Since going AF I've not had any urges apart from those to drink when I'm p*ssed off at something or someone(which in my books drinking would be a form of self-harming).

Flip removing AL from your life empowers you so much, it means people can't get at you for your drinking. I spent many years being made to feel bad about my drinking, I was always on the back foot. Now I've stopped I know I'm strong and no one can hurt me with it any more.

:l

[Flip Top]

Stupid stupid me

I have just phoned Sadas an advisory service that offer free counselling for alcohol and drugs. I left a msg so just waiting for a phone call back.

I was claiming a benifit from the department of working pensions, I went to there poxy examination and they have told me I am fit to work even when I told them I had been having these thoughts about self harm and suicide. I think the hurdle you have to get over for them to say you are fit is about 2mm high... The system sucks. Spoke to my doctor about it and he said there is a lot of Controversy about these peoples decisions. Soon I will be getting paid ?60 a week... How am I suppose to live on that?

I as in the process of writing a dispute letter when I decided to go out and drink..... The mad thing about it is that they scored me a ZERO on mental health - I told them I was awaiting an appointment for counselling for Social Phobias.

[Guest]

Stupid stupid me

Flip

I attended one of those interviews - silly thing was I was back at work at the time since I'm self-employed and claimed some sickness when I went on a couple of long benders. They said I'd have to do the medical in case I ever claim again.

Stupid thing is they had to pay for me to travel as it was held in the next largest town. Tax payers expense for nothing.

Anyway in the interview it was a case of "I can't do anything when I'm drinking", which is the absolute truth. So they couldn't argue with that.