I'm a failure

[lil.michelle]

I'm such a failure. i hate myself. I let myself down and my family down. I don't deserve them.I'm so low and upset. i lasted so long af. i really feel i cant go on. i will tho.:upset:

[SKendall]

I'm a failure

No, you are not. Put one foot in front of the other, read the Tool Box. The majority of the members here found this site because they felt the same way and have progressed. Depression from alcohol will induce all the symptoms you have described. Don't give up - ever! There are so many loving and kind people on MWO who will help.

Our families don't deserve the hell we put them through but an effort on our part is important to show them they are important and loved too, and that we aren't putting alcohol before them although we have in the past.

Keep on trying and it will get better - this I know for sure.

Stay close to the people who can help you. Drink water, have resolve and take care.

[lil.michelle]

I'm a failure

i just dont know how im going to get through theday to feel better

[jessie]

I'm a failure

:lMany of us has been there many times, try and stay busy, drink lots of liquid and go for walks. Maybe the experience is bringing you one step closer to AF. Believe you can do it, because you can.

[mollyka]

I'm a failure

Ye LilM, like Jesse says, we have all been there, and it feels awful. The last time I felt like that I thought I mightn't make it thro at the other end I felt so bad - but I did make it and so can you. 2 days AF and you will be feeling so much better - drinking just puts that feeling off to the next day, it doesn't go away - you are NOT a failure - you are here, it does sound cliched but drinking the water really does help flush the toxins thro your body, and other than not drinking do whatever it takes to get you thro these feelings, even if its just lying on the couch watching tv!
This will pass - stay here and don't think ahead - just a minute at a time - thinking of you
Molly

[JackieClaire]

I'm a failure

First thing, lil.michelle, you are not a failure.
I know you've got a baby boy and have been getting feelings of post natal depression. Have you seen your doctor yet. There are so many treatments these days and it is not the stigma that it once was. At least 1 in 10 new mothers go through this, I did.
Sweetheart, drinking on top of these feelings will multiply them a thousand times.
So today, like Molly says, drink plenty of water. Try and get some rest, I know that's nearly impossible with a baby in the house. Be kind to yourself today.
J x
:l

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

I'm a failure

Nothing to add to what has already been said but to agree and offer my support too. It is not easy at times but you will get through this, be kind to yourself.

[Quit Quitting]

I'm a failure

Hi Michelle

Hope you are feeling better and you are not a failure. I really do think a trip to the Doctor, as already suggested, may be in order. Post natal depression can be awful and it can also be very serious in some cases. I sat on the stairs and cried with my first born - reason had a mishap with some water and flooded the hallway. Nearly got my husband home from work to mop it up. Really hilarious to look back now but at the time it was a catastrophe to me.

Enjoy your family and let them enjoy you.

Take care

QQ xx

[mollyka]

I'm a failure

Lil'M, I didn't realise you had a baby. Like QQ, I actually sat on the stairs bawling as well (why the stairs?!) and of course wouldn't admit there was anything wrong with me. Do go to your Doc. and be gentle with yourself - babyhood can be so exhausting mentally and physically
Molly

[lil.michelle]

I'm a failure

I've gone to the doctors. I'm very open about the fact that i have depression. I've suffered from it since i was a child. They have put my dose higher. I was having a really low day yesterday but i can't sit here and blame depression on the fact that i drunk. I'm not feeling better. I've called my mum up and shes coming over. It was hard but i was honest with her.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

I'm a failure

Thats good that you are reaching out for help and being totally honest, it makes all the difference. I suspect it is the old vicious circle here, we are depressed so we drink to escape for a few hours but when we awake we are even more depressed that we took that route and on it goes. The cycle can be broken even though at times it doesnt feel like that. It is at times like this that it is good to come here and talk, because there are many here who understand only too well.

[JackieClaire]

I'm a failure

That's great news, Michelle.
Get your mum to do all the hard bits like nappy changing and feeding while you give yourself a treat like a nice long bath and a bit of a nap.
When my daughter was 6/7 weeks old I spent the entire day crying with frustration while we had workmen putting a new roof on our house. The foreman's wife had gone through PND and he was so sorry for me he kept making me cups of tea. Funny the little acts of kindness you remember 23 years on.
J x
:l

[mario]

I'm a failure

“There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them.”


Good that you are talking to your doctor & mother michelle ,also by coming here & sharing your thoughts helps, a lot of us can relate to what your going through, :-)

[rebirth]

I'm a failure

You have done the right thing lil.michelle. I suffered from depression when my son was first born. Motherhood just overwhelmed me and my drinking on top of it just made it tenfold worse. It took me years to finally accept that drink controlled me. Years of hangovers and tears. I just woke up one day feeling sick anfd tired of feeling sick and tired.
You will get there lil . michelle. You already are. Just don't give up. Keep trying. x

[Popeye]

I'm a failure

Hi Michelle,

There are no failures here, yourself included. We are all at differing levels of success.
The fact that anyone can come here with the desire to turn things around means that they've realised the problem are are prepared deal with it. Messing up is part of the route for most, if not all of us. I was years finding the balance and still I don't know if it's quite right. It's been said many times but when we're at our lowest, the only way is up. Whatever bad happened has happened and you can't change it but you can learn from it and that's a good thing.
You only fail when you give up trying.
Please be good to yourself.