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**Ringing Cedars** · July 31, 2010, 07:50 PM

My personal experiment...proves a certain hypothesis

Hi Patrice. Glad you didn't let it drag you down for more than two days. You are growing in strength and wisdom! I can relate to every one of your points. Day 8 and counting for me.

**techie** · July 31, 2010, 08:33 PM

My personal experiment...proves a certain hypothesis

Hi Patrice. Well you're back here so I am extremely happy for that. I glad you are ok and refocused on sobriety. I did the same think during my last significant period of sobriety prior to joining MWO. I felt so good I thought I could have a drink or two without needing more. That led to four months of heavy drinking.

Again, I'm so happy you are ok. Thinking of you and wishing you well...John

**JackieClaire** · August 1, 2010, 02:37 AM

My personal experiment...proves a certain hypothesis

Hi Patrice,
My little experiment at the beginning of April 2009 lead me to a 12 week binge that took me to my absolute rock bottom at the beginning of July 2009.

Love the 'back to day 1 not square one. Brilliant that you've hopped back onto the wagon PDQ ( pretty damn quick).

J x
:l

**one2many** · August 1, 2010, 03:52 AM

My personal experiment...proves a certain hypothesis

Patrice,

Good on you for jumping of the booze train and not letting it turn into a major bender.

You have tried and you have come to the conclusion that it cannot be done at this time.
Let this be a huge eye opener and a rule of thumb for you, tried it on for size and it most definitely did not fit.

Day one and ready to go.

**Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)** · August 1, 2010, 04:10 AM

My personal experiment...proves a certain hypothesis

Hello Patrice, I can only speak personally but when I first started AF I was stopping with the intention of having a drink at some stage in the future. I stayed dry for 90 days then had the odd couple here and there which quickly became daily drinking again. It took me months to break the habit. Now I am AF with no intention of ever picking up another drink. The release is unbelievable. I hope you find your way out.

**patrice** · August 1, 2010, 04:12 AM

My personal experiment...proves a certain hypothesis

Incredible how just that first wine led to an amazing domino effect so quickly...down everything came
Yeah it just has to be AF for me....Day 1 .. you are right oney, one size doesn't fit all

**patrice** · August 1, 2010, 04:17 AM

My personal experiment...proves a certain hypothesis

Hi KTAB, yes in the back of my mind i always had the intention of being able to drink again .. responsibly, reasonably.. normally. However after 2days and 3 bottles later, I will have to rethink the whole thing. Its not that I think 3 bottles is a huge amount after 42 days of being sober.. its just the way I drank those 3 bottles... and how little it did for me on any level. mmm looks like I might have missed the 'drinking responsibly' exit a while back and is too far back to do a Uey!!

**Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)** · August 1, 2010, 04:21 AM

My personal experiment...proves a certain hypothesis

Good for you, give it serious consideration. We all know the difference between having a drink and drinking alcoholically and I was very quickly back to doing the later. It has very little to do with the amount or frequency but the way in which it becomes almost sneaky and all encompassing.

**Guest** · August 1, 2010, 05:10 AM

My personal experiment...proves a certain hypothesis

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. What does this mean for abstenance?It means if you return after a break you generally go back not far, or at the point at which you stopped. I know myself having 1 drink after a period of abstaining didn't always get me drunk that day, but within a few weeks I was back if not worse than ever. Point I'm trying to make is that if you have crossed that line, then all the abstaining in the world will not reverse it. FULL STOP. I know because I've tried it so many, many times.

Well done for recognising this and getting back on the wagon.

**mollyka** · August 1, 2010, 05:47 AM

My personal experiment...proves a certain hypothesis

Brilliant Patrice identifying #1 The problem (alkie drinking!)
#2 The problem so quickly!
You will do nothing but benefit from your experience, I know by the way you are 'speaking' in your post.
My biggest slap in the face is my 'signature date', it sounds ok, but it should be last Jan if I hadn't been a complete prat!!
Molly

**patrice** · August 1, 2010, 06:09 AM

My personal experiment...proves a certain hypothesis

Thanks all for the encouragement.. I drink in all your words because this is still so new to me
UK I didnt realise I had crossed the line but I think I have...
Molly yes I had to turn it around double quick because reading about others' experience with slippin' helped me because i knew it could turn into a much longer binge..
The insanity of it was that while I was drinking those 3 bottles over the 2 days.. I wanted to drink them as fast as possible almost like I wanted to get it out of the way..almost like a bad medicine
And when I woke up yesterday with the hell hangover I realised there was still a hlf bottle in the fridge.. had thought I had finished it.. but I couldnt pour it down the sink so it was down my throat.. just revolting and sordid... and happened so damn fast!!

**Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)** · August 1, 2010, 06:25 AM

My personal experiment...proves a certain hypothesis

I wanted to drink them as fast as possible almost like I wanted to get it out of the way..almost like a bad medicine

I could have written those words. It got to the stage sometimes that I was so sick and tired of daily drinking that I really didnt want a first drink that day. Physically and mentally sick of it but yet I still forced myself to 'take my medicine'

**naturalhighs** · August 1, 2010, 06:26 AM

My personal experiment...proves a certain hypothesis

Hi Patrice!

Thanks so much for your thread! I jumped online for some support because I have done almost what you have and just needed to not feel alone right now.

Here's my story.... I have been AF for 4 weeks, fell short after 6 weeks prior to that...seems I am not coping with my marriage breakdown. Anyway, tonight I went to a bbq (alone!) we were invited as a family, my husband and I had a fight and he stayed home and I went to not let others down as I was bringing the salad...all I wanted to do was stay home crawl up in bed and just cry the afternoon away - I hate him so much. So I went out of responsibility (as you should), anyway, I was offerred a glass of wine and I confidently responded 'no thanks' with a smile. As time passed and the more I thought about my shitty situtation I decided yes please give me a glass of wine, just one will do. Well I managed 2 small glasses over 4 hours before I went home with my 2 kids.

Got home, no husband, he's out. I think about my situation feel very sad and decided to have a vodka. Which lead to a few more. I don't know how I feel right now, Numb is a good description...which is the feeling I want. I don't want to feel like I have failed with my personal pledge to quit alcohol forever, so love what you said about 'day 1 not square 1'. I just want to learn from this and grow! Myt marriage will end, thats inevitable, but i don't want my strength to stay true to quiting alcohol to fail...I will rid my life of alcohol.

Thanks for sharing, you have helped! Good luck, I wish you the best and send lots of love and care xo

naturalhighs

**patrice** · August 1, 2010, 06:45 AM

My personal experiment...proves a certain hypothesis

Hi Natural... oh how I know how you feel so much, i was in the same situation 10 months ago and the marriage did end but the drinking didn't... but these last 6 weeks when I have been off booze have been the happiest I have felt in a long time, so please stay quitting it really will HELP you to be off the AL during this hard period in your life. I drank more during my difficulties but I tell you from my heart.. it didnt make anything better.. only worse, a lot worse and made me feel so out of control... I wish I had known what I know now...
Take good care
Patricexxx

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