21 days and scared

[pea]

Hi all, well I have 21 days under my belt, also been off anti depressants for 6 months. The first two weeks I felt so good, but, the past couple of days I feel so isolated and have no interest in anything, even my work as a film editor/composer. i see to be seeing a new reality and feel very raw. I had met a wonderful guy 6 months ago, but my ex suddenly appeared on the scene and wanted me back, so I did, only to find that I am being punished verbally all the time, that I had met someone new. Unfortunately, i have to work with this person as we formed a business together 7 years ago, and now she is making life difficult there too. I honestly feel i should walk away from all of it and start afresh, or see a councilor or something. i am one of these people who try to sort everything out on my own, and not ask for help, but I so need it now, I feel like i am going mad. The joke is, the woman ( the ex) is also an addicts therapist, she watches everywhere I go,sometimes appears out of the blue if i am with friends or family, and gets information about me from work colleagues, while remaining emotionally distant and quite cruel. Sorry to ramble, but this is a biggie, I am almost considering going back on anti depressants again just to get me through. Any advice welcome,this forum is so supportive I know. thanks for reading x

[greeneyes]

21 days and scared

pea, KUDOS on 3 weeks!!! I'm sorry you're having a rough go in other areas and I don't know what to say about that. Make sure your sobriety plan is solid... You might try a counselor and see how that feels before you go back on anti-d. If you feel like your ex and her behavior threatens your sobriety, then yes... get away and start afresh. It may be the best thing ever!

[Guest]

21 days and scared

Sobriety is your number one priority and anything that threatens it consider removing. Personally I decided I didn't want anyone with negative input, in my life anymore when I got sober.

Oh and yes you will go through all sorts of ups and downs, mood swings etc but guess what?they are all part of normal life. Enjoy!

[hillsidetime]

21 days and scared

Hi Pea, I am sorry that you are having such a tough time right now. The great news is that you are not drinking, because that would most likely not help in any way. 21 days af is excellent, hold fast. It does seem like you have a lot going on in your life at the same time for sure; with lots of connections. Make sure that you are eating nutritious food, and drinking lots of water/juice etc, and maybe try to squeek in some exercise to help with all the stress? Hang in there, and keep us posted,
Hill

[brightlite]

21 days and scared

Pea,

Congrats on 21 days! It sounds like the "ex's" behavior is very controlling and no one needs to be verbally abused. You might think about backing off that relationship while you are still in the early stages of sobriety. She, being and addiction therapist should know how "raw and vulnerable" you are right now. Stay strong.

[Annie O]

21 days and scared

Hi Everyone - I'm new here, trying to find the "newbies' page

[betty boop]

21 days and scared

Annie O;923968 wrote: Hi Everyone - I'm new here, trying to find the "newbies' page

Hi Annie O ............:welcome:to MWO .......
Here is the link to Newbies Nest ........https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...est-30074.html

[pea]

21 days and scared

thankyou

Hi, thanks for your replies, it really is nice that people are there, xx

[betty boop]

21 days and scared

Pea, I must apologise for replying to Annie and not to you ..........

21 Days is just amazing, and I have to say that you have to look after YOU ....... your sobriety is the most important thing for you right now and try to put your ex aside ............ :l:l:l

[pea]

21 days and scared

you know, I found the giving up quite easy, what is difficult is dealing with this profound new clarity, and the mind just wont stop thinking! i guess all the repressed feelings are now surfacing and making me look at all the past mistakes, regrets, what could have beens etc, is there a book that deals with help for after quitting. its really strange, i only gave up to lose weight, which is coming off really quickly, but I find now I cant touch the stuff. thanks for reading Jxx

[tallbirdphd]

21 days and scared

Pea I have to totally commend you on your strength. 21 days would be fantastic for someone who had no worries whatsoever, let alone someone who is going through what you are! Be proud of being so strong in such trying circumstances. Your partner is abusing her profession - using means that she must know as a human are dodgy but must surely have been educated about as part of her training! Feeling good is often about control - not of the obsessive type that your partner appears to be exerting, but just of the basics of getting through the day in a way that makes you feel OK. To get some sort of control though - believe me I know how you feel when you say you are going mad, you aren't but I am sure that you feel that way because you have no perspective or energy to reclaim the reins, which is totally understandable - I think seeing a good counsellor is a must. Someone who doesn't know you or your partner, who can give you impartial but reasoned advice, who should be able to make you take stock yourself - you are intelligent enough I'm sure but have had your eyes so muddied by other stuff you probably have forgotten this - is invaluable. They can guide you through it all. I think once you have gained that perspective you can sort the rest out yourself. I am just so impressed at your 21 days as I am sure others are, that is something to cherish that you did all by yourself, and in extenuating circumstances, wow !