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[hawaii]

new here

Hi everyone,
How are you all?I'm still here and this is my third day of my week and and i am ok.Not a great night last night but its been a lot worse!I'm fed up being tired all the time though from lack of sleep.Waiting on melatonin and 5htp from MYO to help though.Have a lovely,peaceful day everyone,xxxxx,Hawaii.

[Panno]

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Hi Hawaii nice to meet you and good luck on your journey. I have sent you a PM

[Pride before Fall]

new here

Congratulations on Day 3, H! It may be different for everybody, but around that time AF I started sleeping like a log--better than I had in years. Not waking up at 2 a.m., drunkish, dehydrated, disgusted and disappointed in myself, and all those other Ds.

Channel that fed-up feeling into:

Fed up with feeling slow, puffy, bruised, unhealthy.
Fed up with causing anxiety in people who love me.
Fed up with people looking at me with a mixture of pity and disgust.
Fed up with looking at MYSELF that way.

Glad for the company as we head off, finally, in the right direction!

Pride

[hawaii]

new here

Hi everyone,
I am no longer on day 3 because i went out to collect my package of melatonin and 5htp and am now drinking wine.I am so sorry for disappointing everyone and it probably serves me right.I didn't think strong enough about it and was trying to surprise and please someone by doing it(and telling them afterwards,that i was successful and could control my drinking).I have no idea yet whether i can drink in moderation or not because there is always that fear that one time i might be ok but then the next(binge).Binge for me is 2 bottles of wine.I always like to be in control to protect myself so i dont know why i drink when that makes me lose control.Sorry.Hawaii.p.s.my severe insomnia came first at 21 and my drinking problem at 32.Thanks for listening.

[Pride before Fall]

new here

H, do this for yourself, not anyone else. You want your life back. Read for awhile and you'll see that for many people, getting there wasn't a straight line. I don't know if it will be for me, but here's hoping.

Don't beat yourself up, hang in there, keep going. I'm reading a lot of anxiety in your post; although numbing out fear is appealling, you know from experience it's still there, only worse, in the morning. You will never rid yourself of it through drinking; you will only compound it. As I read somewhere here, "For those of you trying to drown your sorrows through alcohol, you should know sorrows can swim."

One day at a time. Chalk this day up, find every tool available to firm your resolve and provide you with support, and move forward. Don't waste any more time in this drug's jail. I mean, there aren't even decent curtains! :welcome:

Pride

[hawaii]

new here

Thanks Pride.
xx.

[mayday]

new here

Hi Hawaii,

We're here for you when you're ready
Take Care

[hawaii]

new here

Hi everyone,
Just to say i'm on day 4 now AF.I decided to take ODAT having read lots of posts.Like everyone i would love to be able to drink in moderation but i've proved myself wrong so many times.I've never done anything like this before on any forum and certainly not on alcohol.By the way,when i bought a bottle of wine last friday the shop assisant said to me "just the one"?I was duly flabberghasted!What was he on about?I wouldn't mind but he was actually the manager and only serves when its really busy.He hadn't served me in a long time.Of course i acted really cool as if it didnt take a flitter out of me and just said "yes" and continued packing my stuff in a not very strong bag.Hadn't brought my own cause i wasent supposed to be going in the supermarket.Anyway,i left with my head held high and highly indignent as you can all imagine.Walked round the corner and the bag split and everything fell on the ground.Nothing broke,hah!Anyone,all this time i had another bottle in my other bag.How sad am i?Drank it all and had huge dinner and then thought about what all that meant.If i hadent got a problem i would have joked and thought nothing about his remark.Guilt really tripped me up.What if anyone had of been with me?Try and explain yourself out of that one hawaii?Hope everyone is ok,
Love,
Hawaii.xx.

[Pride before Fall]

new here

Not much of a businessman to get snarky with paying customers, is he? Enjoy depriving him of your hard-earned income! And congrats on Day 4!

Pride

[hawaii]

new here

Hiya Pride,
You may have picked me up wrong!I meant they all must know me so well from usually buying two bottles!Congrats on you being AF since 15 july.You feeling good i hope?Take good care of yourself,
xx.Hawaii.

[Chillgirl]

new here

Hawaii congrats on day 4! How are you finding it and are you sleeping ok?

[hawaii]

new here

Thanks Chillgirl.I'm finding it fine.I dont crave it physically but its the thing that comes into my head that drives me mad and then i buy drink.I have to find a way to deal with that.Sleep always very bad but i dont feel bad like i do when i drink to excess.How are you?You are doing fantastic.Take care,
hawaii.xx

[hawaii]

new here

Day 5 and feelin good!

Hi my friends,
Day 5 and feelin good.need more sleep though.in case i mislead anyone,i was taking the piss out of myself about the supermarket because i was obviously known there for normally buying two bottles.How do you make it clear when you are making a joke or just kidding when you write on a post?Anyway have a great day everyone,
luv,Hawaii.x.

[Chillgirl]

new here

Hawaii congats on day 5 thats fantastic!! Keep up the great work...
if you want to emphasize a joke just use the little laughing icon :H:H:H

[big mo]

new here

:goodjob: Hi Hawaii hows you , Day 5 is great well done , I cant remember the last time I had more than 3 days AF , As you know this is my second day , I am not qualified to comment on being sober for any period of time however one thing I do know is for some of us drinking in moderation is impossible , If you can do it thats brilliant however from personnel experiance I have kidded myself for years and have used it as one of my many excuses many times to take a drink , The outcome has always been the same 1 night a week leads to 2 then 3 , we all know the rest , I have had problems for years with alochol and the only time i have been sober for any period of time is when in hospital or a couple of weeks after i get out , then the excuses start and the old "I enjoy a drink" or "what harm does it do" I could write a book of excuses to justify having a drink ,One of the main problems was ( I will use the word was instead of is as i am feeling confidant ) I look to the future and not having alcohol in my life, Christmas , Holidays etc , As i said earlier this is my second day AF but im not looking furthur than today , many times people have said worry about today and dont take the first drink and all the other sayings which i never listened to as i was thinking ahead , now trying to get through today without drink . sorry im ranting but nice hearing from you and take care .Mo