I am sitting here pondering what drinking is doing to my life. I spent a lot of time this weekend with non-drinking friends and business associates pretending to be someone that I am not. There are two of me, the drinker and the other one. Everyone I know knows I like scotch but very, very few know how much. So I feel like I have to put on act around others. It's very lonely. I am sitting here thinking that I would love to pick up the phone and call someone to talk about this, but there is not a soul in the world who would understand. My husband knows how much I drink but doesn't care. He thinks (without saying it) that I overreact and don't need to worry about it. Maybe he's just trying to deny his own love of rum.
So the answer is to quit drinking right? When I did that for six weeks, I spent a lot of time sitting home alone while he went to the bar. It's his only hobby. It's very lonely also. I have other hobbies, but some of them are solitary. I do belong to a couple of organizations, but there isn't something going on all the time.
My choices are to learn to deal with being lonely and accept it, build a life entirely outside of my marriage and become "room mates" with my husband or keep doing what I am doing. I try to cut back, and I have some, but it always comes out to the same thing.
Has anyone ever gotten through this in a similar situation? Any tips? I am at a loss what to do next, so I do nothing. Thanks.
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