Whats wrong with me????

[Accountable for Me]

Whats wrong with me????

Cindi, I was the exact same. It never got better. What you had described was me in a nutshell.

Very scary shit. A harsh reality.

If we tippee toe around what really happens to some people, then others who are suffering along the same will think they are worse off and aren't worth saving themselves.

When I first came here a lot of our stories were the same. We were only moments away from death. If it weren't for the 'truth' told by others and the support we sought out in one another; many of us would not be here today.

Love you lots Cindi! Thanks for sharing.

[ItsJustMe]

Whats wrong with me????

Ok, I messed up and am really disappointed with myself. I also feel like I let everyone on this thread who was offering encouragement down. I had an extremely stressful day at work. Then my wife called to tell me she was taking the kids out for dinner (I get home later in the evening). So, no need to make dinner and I am home alone for a few hours. So, after a lot of arguing with myself I made a stop at the package store. I have disappointment and relief at the same time! This is really messed up! I’m on my 3rd R&C. I think I will stop here and head for bed.

K9 – I can’t believe what you said. That is exactly what I do!!!! There are two package stores within 2 miles of each other. I alternate between them so it doesn’t look bad.

Cindi – at the risk of sounding macabre, I’d really like for you to continue your story if you are comfortable doing so.

Guys, thanks for being out there. I am optimistic about tomorrow but what happens tomorrow afternoon? What happens when something comes up that allows me to justify crawling back into the bottle? I really want this to work. I am freaking tired of this. I know this is wrong and I know that I failed this evening. I’m beyond disappointed with myself. I’m very ashamed.

ItsJustMe

[Lillypond059]

Whats wrong with me????

Hi itsjustme
sounds like me, i will stop tomorrow i always thought, untill now i think enough is enough, i dont want to live life like i was doing anymore, I am new here too, maybe we can all help one another get through this, and start enjoying doing the things we used to enjoy, like you I have lost all interest.
Best Wishes

Lillypond x

[Guest]

Whats wrong with me????

Don't let it 'justify' having a bottle. AL doesn't make anything better and using external things as 'excuses' is part of the problem. Only when we face those problems we stop using them.

[K9Lover]

Whats wrong with me????

Hi ItsJustMe,
How are you doing today? Sorry about your slip with the 3 R&C's last night, it happens, but it can also be avoided. Regarding going to different stores, someone on here told me once that they worked in a liquor store, and it wasn't the frequency of the person coming in, but the fact that the ONLY thing they ever bought was alcohol that the clerks noticed. I thought that was interesting, and I also thought I was being sneaky, but it turns out I wasn't!
Do you have a plan for later today when (if) the feeling hits you again? What can you do different tonight?
Let us know how you are!
K9

[Quit Quitting]

Whats wrong with me????

Hi Justforme

You are like so many on this site including me. Our drinking makes us ashamed and yet we still do it. The need outweighs the shame I guess. No one will tell you quitting is going to be easy but it can be done. I have not quit......................yet, but my consumption has reduced a lot and for that I am pleased.

Stick with us and to echo what has been said on this site time and time again and will continue to be said 'One Day At A time'.

Good Luck

QQ.

[rie]

Whats wrong with me????

welcome, it's just me! good luck to you!

cindi, i don't think that your message was "harsh," possibly because my spiral down was sooo much like yours. it got to the point that i'd wake in the morning and start drinking. i'd drive while drinking and do sooooooo many stupid and embarrassing things that i wouldn't remember.

thankfully, my pcp prescribed a medication for me that has taken away the cravings. i've tried so often to quit on my own and would always think that i could control it. well, i proved repeatedly that i could NOT. the medicine has been a godsend to me, and i awake in the morning with my senses and ENERGY! thanks, cindi, for sharing.

[ItsJustMe]

Whats wrong with me????

I’ve contacted my doc and have an appt Friday. I am going to try to get an Rx for Antabuse. If successful, I am going to finish my current bottle of Bacardi this weekend and start the med. If I remove the choice I think I will be successful. Thanks to all on this thread! My wife is actually excited that I am doing something about this – didn’t know she even knew I had a problem! She is smarter than I thought!!! :-)