a series of davasting events

[lil.michelle]

I was doing fantastic the last 2 weeks, no antabuse, no drink, cravings but in complete control UNTILL yesterday. The day started of bad and just got worse. Woke uo my hubby saying Smirnoff our beloved cat hadn't been all night. This was unusal but he'd done it before so we carried on with breakfast, getting the children dressed ect ect. The cat still hadn't come in but it was raining heavily so i thought he was cosy under a car or bush. However it was unusal so we all got booted in our wellies and went on the treaded search. Looking at the sides of the roads i was happy that smirnoff was not there so thought he must be cosy somewhere. So off we went to the shops. I got a bottle of wine to put in my wine rack to look at as an achievement for me not needing drink... That was mistake one. I poured out a quarter of a glass and drunk it to test whether i could leave it at that and was happy to say i could and didnt want more. I then got a phone call from mt mum saying smirnoff was dead. He'd had a terrible accident with a car in which the car hit his head and they have advised me not to see look. I went upstairs got a blanket, pillow and curled up on the sofa with my children to be with the family. I didn't drink. My mum called up again to say she was coming right over, which was nice of her but i said i didn't want to be mummied and i needed to think and be alone. However, she turned up and i felt all that control i had just went and i finished the bottle. I did look at him and kiss him. Smirnoff has since been buried in my favourt sheets and put to rest.

[dancelot]

a series of davasting events

lil.michelle - I'm so sorry about Smirnoff. :l

[Guest]

a series of davasting events

I am so sorry for your cat, and I know it's horrid to lose a pet so my thoughts are with you.

When I was reading through your post as soon as I saw "I bought a bottle of wine to put in my wine rack to show I've acheived being AF" I was very scared. It's a great example of how twisted thinking can become over AL. A bit like a dieter who says "I'll just buy this cream cake to put on the cake rack to show how well I'm doing" - it's gonna get eaten! One glass can sometimes feel ok at the time but it can then open the gates for later.

Good that you've recognised it.

[NoraC]

a series of davasting events

I'm so very sorry.

[DeeBee]

a series of davasting events

R.I.P Smirnof.
I'm so sorry for your loss LilM -- you must be feeling very upset right now.
Please don't turn to AL to "help" you through this.

[mama bear]

a series of davasting events

I am sorry for your loss. Our kitties are beloved in our house.....no more wine bottles in the house, ok??

[sulapeace]

a series of davasting events

Hi Lil.Michelle,

I'm so so sorry to hear about Smirnoff... May he rest in peace...

Sula

[Doggygirl]

a series of davasting events

lil michelle, I'm sorry to read about the loss of your cat. I know how hard it is to loose our pets. AL doesn't help anything - you already know that. Revise your plan...

DG

[OverIt2007]

a series of davasting events

Awww, Lil Michelle..

Im so sorry for the loss of your kitty Smirnoff. That is so sad and difficult to deal with.

I hope you and your family all feel better soon!!!

[sunshine_gg]

a series of davasting events

I'm so very sorry about Smirnoff, lilMichele. It is just like losing a family member, isn't it? :upset:

As everyone said before, and you already know, AL isn't going to help. Should you have a talk with your mum and explain that there are times when you NEED to be by yourself? It sounds as if having your mum come over just pushed you over the edge?

I hope you are feeling a bit better today :l

[Jewels83]

a series of davasting events

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have two cats and one is almost 15 years old. She's starting to get a little boney even though she eats plenty, which she throws up alot of. She is the sweetest thing in the world but I know her time is coming. Your kitty is in cat heaven now, where she can run free without any cars around.

Much love to you.

[Kimberley]

a series of davasting events

Hey Lil,

I am sorry you lost your cat - and it's harder when it's an accident rather than just nature's course.

Just wanted to send you a :l My cat is my life - literally I have to plan everything around her!! Where I live (has to have a garden, has to be off a main street etc) I don't know what I'll do when she goes (she's 8 now).

This works for some people and is a bad idea for others, but just a suggestion - If you're really missing her, maybe you could go to a rescue shelter to get a cat? It's not like you're replacing her, but in a way you're giving your love to something new and helping it at the same time. (Just don't name it after any spirits!)

My cat sends you some love --->


K x

[gyco]

a series of davasting events

hi lil M,sorry about the cat.my wife did the same with her cat,years ago,used her special bath robe,to bury it in,which the cat use to cuddle up to,she died of old age,and the other one to,it was a horrible thing to watch,as far as the wine,i cant lecture you,at least you didnt drink 2 bottles,addiction is not fun,nor is watching others drink,when we shouldnt,we have to pluck along,do the best with the tools we have,if we fall,we pick are selves up,and try try again,ive realised over the last year,i dont want to stop,forever,ive also lerned i dont like to wake up sick,you have to find what works the best for you,you no i wish you well,gyco