Is today, friday August 13th.
My circumstances are a bit different from y'all I think, just because I don't abuse alcohol specifically and I'm using a slightly different treatment program (Julia Ross' Mood/Diet Cure, but I see a lot of crossover with MWO. I also think MWO may have some resources that can help me.) I may not 'drink ' in the classical sense, but wow am I ever ultimately an alcoholic in terms of *behaviour*, if you know what I mean. My 'drug' is a different substance, but I think I still act like an alcoholic. And I feel like one... I know that when I'm 'drinking', I sure can't work or think straight or really have a life at all.
And I know I need to- and want to- get sober.
So I've planned and set up a detox period. The planning part is really important to me, because I've tried to quit a bunch of times and lack of prior planning has kicked my butt. Today's the first day of detox, so I'm all exhausted and sick from the 'booze'. One thing that's going to be big today is a trigger situation.
I've noticed that a HUGE trigger for me is just going to the store. Seriously. I live on a beautiful island in the Pacific Northwest, and there's only like 3 places to get food and alcohol here. I know that if I go to any of them, I *will* feel tempted to buy, you know, MORE BOOZE. So hey, I won't go, right? For seven days or whatever, I just WON'T go.
Yeah. Problem. My supplement package has arrived. So I've got to go to one of the shopping centers and get it. uh oh. Still, I feel confident that if I monitor how I feel and whether I'm 'at risk' for wanting a drink (glutamine is totally my friend, btw. I have some in a little silver pillcase in my purse), I can make it without screwing up my... first day of sobriety! xD Man. This addiction demon doesn't rest, does it? First day out and I've already got a trigger situation.
Anyway, wish me luck! I hope it's okay for me to be here, even though I'm not a classical alcoholic I feel the need to talk about sobriety and getting sober, and I like how anonymous the internet is. I've got a situation where my family pressured me to 'fix my problem' REALLY FAST, before I'd even really been able to put my finger on WHAT IT WAS, so I had to lie to them and tell them I had it handled. They expected me to get better RIGHT AWAY. It wasn't right, I guess, to lie.. but man. I couldn't say 'I'm struggling with this', my parents would have killed me. So now I have to act like I've got it handled. (My family aren't bad people, they just have a whole bunch of their own anxiety and addiction issues, and they're defensive about their own alcohol use and.. yeah, I don't need to kick that hornet's nest and get their issues flying around, I've got plenty of my own! :H )
So it's nice to have somewhere to go and admit that HELLO-! Still have a problem here! Not fixed yet! And talk about fixing it. So I actually CAN fix it.
Anyway, I think I'll nail it this time. I came prepared with a lot of firepower- supplements, meal plans, detox plans, lots of vacation time to rest, etc etc.
So, yeah. :new:
My circumstances are a bit different from y'all I think, just because I don't abuse alcohol specifically and I'm using a slightly different treatment program (Julia Ross' Mood/Diet Cure, but I see a lot of crossover with MWO. I also think MWO may have some resources that can help me.) I may not 'drink ' in the classical sense, but wow am I ever ultimately an alcoholic in terms of *behaviour*, if you know what I mean. My 'drug' is a different substance, but I think I still act like an alcoholic. And I feel like one... I know that when I'm 'drinking', I sure can't work or think straight or really have a life at all.
And I know I need to- and want to- get sober.
So I've planned and set up a detox period. The planning part is really important to me, because I've tried to quit a bunch of times and lack of prior planning has kicked my butt. Today's the first day of detox, so I'm all exhausted and sick from the 'booze'. One thing that's going to be big today is a trigger situation.
I've noticed that a HUGE trigger for me is just going to the store. Seriously. I live on a beautiful island in the Pacific Northwest, and there's only like 3 places to get food and alcohol here. I know that if I go to any of them, I *will* feel tempted to buy, you know, MORE BOOZE. So hey, I won't go, right? For seven days or whatever, I just WON'T go.
Yeah. Problem. My supplement package has arrived. So I've got to go to one of the shopping centers and get it. uh oh. Still, I feel confident that if I monitor how I feel and whether I'm 'at risk' for wanting a drink (glutamine is totally my friend, btw. I have some in a little silver pillcase in my purse), I can make it without screwing up my... first day of sobriety! xD Man. This addiction demon doesn't rest, does it? First day out and I've already got a trigger situation.
Anyway, wish me luck! I hope it's okay for me to be here, even though I'm not a classical alcoholic I feel the need to talk about sobriety and getting sober, and I like how anonymous the internet is. I've got a situation where my family pressured me to 'fix my problem' REALLY FAST, before I'd even really been able to put my finger on WHAT IT WAS, so I had to lie to them and tell them I had it handled. They expected me to get better RIGHT AWAY. It wasn't right, I guess, to lie.. but man. I couldn't say 'I'm struggling with this', my parents would have killed me. So now I have to act like I've got it handled. (My family aren't bad people, they just have a whole bunch of their own anxiety and addiction issues, and they're defensive about their own alcohol use and.. yeah, I don't need to kick that hornet's nest and get their issues flying around, I've got plenty of my own! :H )
So it's nice to have somewhere to go and admit that HELLO-! Still have a problem here! Not fixed yet! And talk about fixing it. So I actually CAN fix it.
Anyway, I think I'll nail it this time. I came prepared with a lot of firepower- supplements, meal plans, detox plans, lots of vacation time to rest, etc etc.
So, yeah. :new:
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