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sunday 15 August

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    #1

    sunday 15 August

    I am so annoyed with myself - was meant to be af and nf - i drank 4 beers(with codeine for bad leg - BAD idea) and now feel rubbish.
    I so want to be af and nf and lose weight and i just get in my own way all the time - I need to avoid social situations for the time being yet i keep putting myself in them.
    i really need to do this one day at a time - and i need to find other ways of comforting myself - have been stressed/anxious and this is my default 'feel better' behaviour.
    Which of course makes me feel worse!It's becoming clearer and clearer to me that EVERY time I drink I drink more than planned/smoke/eat takeaway junk on way home/feel bad/fat/low next day.What a great night out eh!

    The thought of never drinking scares the s**t out of me - it's been so much part of who i am/used to be/always there ever since i started socialising.I need to deal with that but just don't know how

    3 times i drank this week - goal was af - I also drank more than 2 drinks(my goal when i think of moderating - so clearly that isn't an option)

    i really need to seriously plan changing how/where i socialise - lots more coffee/dinner(with me driving) activities.

    Today I'm not skating - sore leg and don't want to make it worse - planning my menu for week after takeaway binge this week. I may go to the gym for a sauna/steam jacuzzi later this afternoon.

    I'm back at work tomorrow after a week off and am not looking forward to it - trying to focus on today and enjoying today - get myself organised so it's less painful in the morning.
    Good day all to come - no drinking or smoking for this bear today.
    one day at a time
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    #2
    sunday 15 August

    Hiya Bear,

    I went through a similar process till i worked out i needed to hibernate, and avoid social situations until i was strong and focused enough. For me, that was a few month's. I still worked a day job during this time, and just declined/avoided any socialising in bar's. Coffee, etc? Sure, but i worked out i needed to get myself right, and do whatever it took, and do it my way. I had to be commited, and ruthless with myself to stay sober, and ride out the first couple of month's till i found my feet. And, i alway's drove myself to and from social/al situation's, and still do. An exit plan is essential. Take control and go for it.

    Best wishes, and have a great week back at work. You'll rock it!

    'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

    Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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      #3
      sunday 15 August

      thanks Guit - I'm not a musician but oh is and i love music and we also put on gigs

      how did/do you manage being in this booze/cig/drug filled environment?
      one day at a time

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        #4
        sunday 15 August

        I play in bar's etc. regularly and manage fine now. It was extremely difficult and tortuous in the early day's! Luckily for me, this last time i stopped, i wasn't gigging much, as i'd been isolating myself, and hitting the grog hard, so i wasn't putting myself out there at all, the last few years of my last drinking spell. These day's, thing's are very different, and i'm loving being out there playing. Very grateful actually. I don't hang around the gig's for as long afterward now, or get there as early, so i don't put myself in anxious situation's, not that i'm tempted to drink these day's. And i alway's drive, or am in control of my transportation.
        Are you a sort of entrepeneur, Bear?

        'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

        Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

        Comment

          #5
          sunday 15 August

          ha ha - no we do it for fun - we always pay the bands so we lose if attendance isn't great.
          Ethical promoting!

          It outrages me that promoters will promise money to bands then not pay if not enough people turn up!
          We put on psychobilly/nu rockabilly/60s garage and have done a couple of blue grass/alt country dos too.

          What other job would you turn up at be promised pay and then not get it?I love it it's great fun - lost a lot of money last night but we'll be back.
          one day at a time

          Comment

            #6
            sunday 15 August

            Great attitude Bear! I'd play at one of your gig's, and know i was in good hand's. I love all that type of music.
            I love going out to bar's/gig's now too. It's a lot more fun af.
            Off to bed for me. Nice chatting, and take care of yourself.

            Best wishes, Greg.

            'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

            Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

            Comment

              #7
              sunday 15 August

              Hi Bear-

              I just answered your post in the other forum.

              Mr. G-Guess what??????? Since being AF, I have improved my running time by 15 minutes. You are an inspiration to me....sleep tight!

              Comment

                #8
                sunday 15 August

                Bravo Rusty! You inspire me also! Goodnight friend.

                'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                Comment

                  #9
                  sunday 15 August

                  good morning...
                  Bear..I had THE WORST cravings last night and almost caved....but I rode it out for over two hours and kept telling myself this is the beast talking....not me.....it was tough, but I DID IT!!!
                  Good Luck to you
                  Morning Rusty and Mr G
                  I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                  Live in the Solution....not the problem

                  Comment

                    #10
                    sunday 15 August

                    Happy Sunday Guys!

                    Mama! Im proud of you that you did not cave! I know how hard it is when those cravings strike. Is the bac working for you it seems?

                    Im no longer taking the Antabuse, but trying to do this on my own. Its very reasurring to me that I have the Antabuse there if I need it, so I guess that says that my experimentation with it was successful. Its another tool to use for success, so thats a great thing.

                    No drinking for me today thats for sure!!
                    I LOVE MY SEROTONIN AND BOOZE SCREWS IT UP!!!!!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      sunday 15 August

                      Hiya over
                      Really great to see you again... I missed you when you were away, glad you are back
                      Patrice xx

                      Comment

                        #12
                        sunday 15 August

                        Hi Patrice! Nice to see you too!! I had a great time visiting family in Michigan. It was just what I needed really.

                        I'll be honest, I have had a few slips this week. BUT, today is a new day and a good day to get back on track.

                        I hope your doing great!
                        I LOVE MY SEROTONIN AND BOOZE SCREWS IT UP!!!!!

                        Comment

                          #13
                          sunday 15 August

                          Hi Overit, How long can a person take Antabuse? I want to start mine again as well.
                          make the least of the worst, and the most of the best - everyday.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            sunday 15 August

                            Well I hit the F*k It button last night after 22 days af. Just needed to de-stress. While it did do that I feel like crap today. I actually blacked out after only 1 750ml bottle. I've only blacked out a few times including last night. Only she says.... The only thing I can think of that would have prevented my cave in was to share my pain with someone. Too prideful and humiliated to share my circumstances so I drowned them for a short time. GRRRR Here I go again ... the count is on!!

                            Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


                            St. Francis of Assisi

                            Comment

                              #15
                              sunday 15 August

                              RC I just glad you're ok and have yourself refocused. I wish you had shared. Next time send a PM. Even if you don't want to spill it all, just reaching out can help! John xxx
                              Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

                              Comment

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