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TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

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    TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

    Hi all! Techie, I hope you are feeling better today. You said something that I think is really important. I too used AL to "even out" any up and down emotions. Learning that it's OK to feel weepy sometimes is good. This is life. It's also OK to be deleriously happy sometimes and not have to "drink to celebrate" that emotion either. Sobriety really is such a learning process. You are also a tremendous giver. You put a lot of effort into "hosting" this thread and providing inspirational messages, etc. Another thing I'm still having to learn is that it's OK sometimes for me to take strength from others when I need to. I don't always have to be the one "leading the way." (don't know if that's relevant but it popped in my head so there you have it!)

    Anyway...I hope everyone is enjoying a beautiful day sober. Because all sober days are beautiful regardless of the weather or other circumstances.

    RC, IIRC your ultimate goal is moderation? I'm not able to do that so a poor one to offer any advice. However I think even with moderation it may not work to view AL as a reward. In the My Way Out book it talks about being able to view AL as a take it or leave it thing - like butter (I think that's the example used - it's been a long time since I read the book). I hope the successful modders help you out with some of those questions on your thread in the modders section. My husband is my "gold standard" normal drinker that I look to when my own thinking about AL seems warped. He does not view AL as a reward (or a punishment or anything). It's something that occassionally tastes good on a hot day after dog training or something like that. But he doesn't always have a beer after dog training - even when it's hot. And it's not a reward or punishment for doing well or not so well at dog training. For him it's not connected to anything other than whether he feels like a beer at that moment - and usually he doesn't feel like a beer. I have NEVER had that relationship with alcohol and it was a relief to stop trying. Having his example of a true "normie" under my nose is very helpful.

    Day 837 AF and life is good. Holidays like this (US) just remind me of how grateful I am to wake up without a hangover. In the old days, Saturday AND Sunday would have been a no holds drunkfest with Monday as a day off. Makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

    DG
    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


    One day at a time.

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      TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

      techie;952008 wrote: Results falling short of expectation really resonates with me today. I was up early and had a great workout. It is an absolutely beautiful day here in the northeast. However, I feel this dark cloud looming over me, I just can't shake this weepy feeling. I'm sure it's just the ebb and flow of life that I often escaped with alcohol. I will try not to dwell and search for root cause, but go with these feelings and see where it takes me. I hope everyone else ids doing well as I do draw strength from my MWO brethren. John
      Techie

      I'm not sure where you are daywise but I seem to remember you are over the 90 days mark?Well after 90 days I started to have these reall gloomy, dark spells which were pretty awful. The good news is that I feel a lot better now and am so glad I didn't let them get me down. I guess it's all part of normal life.

      UKB

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        TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

        Thought For Day 22

        Imagine intensely
        Imagine yourself filled with energy and enthusiasm. The more vividly you imagine it, the more real that energy and enthusiasm become.
        See yourself working with purpose, focus and discipline. Imagine yourself being positive, decisive, and eager to take whatever action is necessary.

        Imagine yourself being the person you've always wanted to be. Imagine, in rich and glorious detail, living the life you've always dreamed of living.

        Imagine a positive and fulfilling image of yourself, doing what you know is right for you, giving your very best to life. Imagine living each day with positive purpose, love, compassion and effectiveness.


        Imagine yourself surrounded by beauty, experiencing true joy and fulfillment. Imagine yourself always finding a way to make a valuable contribution to each and every moment.


        Imagine yourself at your absolute best, and hold that image firmly in your mind, day after day and moment by moment. Imagine intensely and persistently, and you will make it be.
        Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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          TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

          Hello everyone. I'm feeling much better today. Happy to hear my friends down under have survived a terrible few days of natures wraith. I leave Wednesday morning for LA and my triathlon is on the 11th. The 11th. This I know is what is central to my emotional crisis of late. I can do this, I will do this. This is my opportunity to move forward and get beyond a major sticking point in my life. I don't mean to be cryptic here but I'm writing this more for myself I think. From LA I'm heading on a two week business to Singapore.

          I do hope everyone is doing there very best, and would love to heave from all committed to this thread. John xx
          Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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            TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

            Hiya All.
            Doing great here.
            A bit of a gliche last couple of days with my first panic attack in many years.
            I WILL get to the bottom of that. But for now I am applying myself to a mood stabilising, low GI diet and upping the exercise. (but not to triathalon level.....sorry Tech...you're on your own there:H)
            Techie:Now listen mate, this black dog stuff is illogical, but very real (I KNOW it)
            Let's apply logic to your situation.......
            You already HAVE great recent results at Triathalon if I remember ?? And you have been training really well ??? And the main point of being in the Triathalon is to strive and succeed, not necessarily win ??? (OK winning would be fairly cool, but do you get my point) ? Just being there will be a win, eh?

            Go well everyone. If you trip up or have a bad day, just get up and press on.
            Bridge:l
            If your 8 year old self met you, would they be proud?
            Rejoined life 20/5/19

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              TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

              wow Techie, that's quite a little adventure you have lined up. taking a camera along I hope.

              Bridge, whats a low GI diet? got my curiosity up here.
              nosce te ipsum
              (Know Thyself)

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                TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

                Techie,
                I am new here and want to congratulate you on your upcoming triathlon.

                Day 10, feeling strong and getting back to the gym myself...

                Peace

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                  TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

                  Hi Ho All, feeling positive and over my bump. Oney and DG I should not have used the word reward for that is not what it was in fact. It was more like missing the source of pleasure that it has been in my life before I recognized trouble it was becoming. Thanks for your replies and I do take them seriously into consideration. Failure doesn't mean the goal is necessarily unatainable just have to keep learning and adjusting at this point.

                  Techie you will be great both in the race and your business trip. You've worked hard in both and that always be an accomplishment. I wish you the strength and endurance you need for both of your upcoming challenges.

                  Det and Bridge and anyone looking into a GI diet be careful that the glycemic counts are considered for nutritionally dense foods and not just finding a way to cheat with "dead foods".

                  Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


                  St. Francis of Assisi

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                    TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

                    Thank you all. I'm much better today. I'm working from home preparing for my adventures. Bike and race gear are in LA at branch office. Several business associates will be taking pics, as three others from my company will be competing. I am leaving for Singapore on Tuesday 9/14 midday from LA on China Air. I'm much more relaxed now that I feel prepared as best I can. I appreciate everyone's concern, support, and encouragement. John xx
                    Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

                    Comment


                      TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

                      Thought For Day 23

                      Let fear go
                      Fear is powerful, and yet it is fragile. Though it can stop you cold, fear can be gone in an instant when you decide you've had enough of it.
                      Fear is a very effective way for you to get your own attention. Then as soon as you're fully aware of a fear and what it has to say, you have no more use for it.

                      Let the fear advise you and prepare you, and then just let it go. It is nothing more than a thought over which you have full control.

                      When fear is what holds you back, there's a quick way forward. Accept the fear, feel it, learn from it, and then drop it completely from your mind.

                      By letting go of fear, you transform it into courage. In this way, you put the power of that fear to positive use.

                      Boldly step through each fear, then move on past it. And feel the strength that you've just gained.
                      Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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                        TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

                        Techie, good luck in the race! Glad to hear you are relaxed in the final stretch of mental preparation. Travel safely to LA and on to Singapore.

                        Fear is a good topic. Fear drove a lot of my drinking and other behaviors prior to getting sober. Even after getting sober fear was a driving force. After the relapse and the huge struggle to get back on the wagon (took me 8 months) fear of another relapse is one of the two significant factors that drove me through the doors of AA. That has turned out to be a good decision for me so I won't complain! I do like operating on a lot less fear these days.

                        Day 838 one day at a time.

                        DG
                        Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                        Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                        One day at a time.

                        Comment


                          TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

                          Thought For Day 24

                          A good enough reason
                          Give yourself a good enough reason and you can get yourself to do whatever must be done. Give yourself a meaningful enough reason why, and it will happen.
                          Make yourself an offer that you can't refuse. Give yourself a reason that you cannot resist.

                          In an instant you can go from apathetic and unmotivated to enthusiastic and energetic. All you have to do is find that raw nerve of authentic desire, and touch it.

                          Allow yourself to want what you really want. Then allow yourself to be driven by that desire.

                          Every possibility is open to you. Latch on to one so positive and compelling that it won't leave you alone until you make it happen.

                          Give yourself a good enough reason and you'll give yourself plenty of motivation. Give yourself a good enough reason and you'll have no trouble moving quickly and decisively forward.
                          Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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                            TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

                            Hi I posted day 24 in advance since tomorrow is a travel day for me. I hope to login tomorrow evening. Have a GREAT evening/day wherever you reside! John xx
                            Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

                            Comment


                              TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

                              Techie I hope you are having a smooth travel day today!

                              I want to LIVE and ENJOY living! That is my positive motivation to do whatever it takes to stay AF. In the final years of my drinking career, I had so many wonderful things in my life. A good husband, wonderful home, great job situation, car, drivers license, etc. Yet I felt so depressed and miserable I wanted to kill myself. AL sucked the desire to live right out of me. I don't want to live like that anymore.

                              I still have the same husband, house, job, car and drivers license. Today I appreciate these things and want to LIVE and enjoy them, and enjoy and participate in the world around me.

                              That is my motivation.

                              Thank you for continuing the daily inspirational messages even while you are on the road!

                              I am so grateful to be sober today - one day at a time Day 839.

                              DG
                              Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                              Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                              One day at a time.

                              Comment


                                TECHIE'S 30 DAY CLEAN SOBER CHALLENGE

                                Good luck at your tri Techie

                                Have a great race and enjoy the entire experience. I look forward to hearing how you did after.
                                I too have a triathlon on the 11th and have had "a lot of fear and doubt" as my last triathlon in August was a horrible, scary experience. THANKS SO MUCH for your post on FEAR. I will read it over and try to apply that to my race. It's the water that plays tricks on my mind and fear.

                                One2 Many - Your post a few pages back really hit me hard. I use AL so much as a Reward trigger. I hate it. I need to view AL for what it is. poison. It always smothers me in such guilt and shame the next day I feel like I have no hope. RC, you are still seeing your wine as something "precious" not as the vile, evil poison that it is to us alcoholics....as long as you continue to look at it this way or to see it as a reward, it makes it so much easier to fall.__________________

                                I need to get the hope and motivation back as I am in a rut that I need to get out of. I have 3-4 days AF and start feeling pretty happy and proud of myself. So what do I do? I reward myself for a couple of days with AL so I can't get back to that level of feeling rotten about me. I hate the cycle.:upset:

                                I will be sober, eat right etc.... the next 4 days until the race is over. Then I need NOT reward myself when it's done. I hope I can do it.

                                This is such a great thread.

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