I really need help. I just can't seem to stop drinking. I keep messing up even though I truly want to stop. I have done so much emotional damage to my kids, husband and close friends. I feel like I am caught in a cycle that is just spiraling out of control. I may have a good day or two but I can't stop thinking what an awful person I am and eventually I have to drink to quit thinking about it. It's like I am beating myself up inside and can't get away from my abuser... me! What can I do to break this cycle? Does that Kudzu really work like I have been reading? How? I would do anything to get back to the person I used to be before the alcohol took over my life.
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No Escape
I really need help. I just can't seem to stop drinking. I keep messing up even though I truly want to stop. I have done so much emotional damage to my kids, husband and close friends. I feel like I am caught in a cycle that is just spiraling out of control. I may have a good day or two but I can't stop thinking what an awful person I am and eventually I have to drink to quit thinking about it. It's like I am beating myself up inside and can't get away from my abuser... me! What can I do to break this cycle? Does that Kudzu really work like I have been reading? How? I would do anything to get back to the person I used to be before the alcohol took over my life. -
No Escape
Hi Need help. I too keep messing up even though i desperately want to quit. I am on day 3 af and its a struggle but im getting there and you can too. Keep posting and asking questions and get to know all the lovely people here who care. Alcohol can make us carry a lot of guilt about what we have said and done but it is so destructive. You can break this cycle by keeping close here and taking it one day at a time. When i feel like a drink i go into live chat and we have a laugh and they talk me out of it, and then it passes. The more you resist the stronger you will get. So stay strong and do it for you and your kids, i am!HOUR BY HOUR, DAY BY DAYComment
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No Escape
Thanks for your reply. Have you tried the Kudzu?Comment
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No Escape
No i haventHOUR BY HOUR, DAY BY DAYComment
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No Escape
Most of the time I cannot break away from the overwhelming feelings of how bad I am and how useless it is to even try. Then I drink to quiet the "voices" in my head and it starts all over. I usually don't remember what I have said or done and just want somebody to believe in me to help me focus on positive experiences. I hear enough of the negative in my own head. I just can't seem to shake it.Comment
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No Escape
Focus on your future, set yourself a goal and aim hard girl. Life can be so sweet but its a fight to get it.
Its an ongoing battle but it is worth it in the end because you get you and your life back.HOUR BY HOUR, DAY BY DAYComment
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No Escape
yep same thing here.. horrible feelings of guilt. Im on day 3 now too like pink angel.
Just try and keep positive and if you feel like a drink walk away, its really hard i know.
My husband keeps a special cabinet full of his expensive drinks which is really not fair for me but i try not too look at it and do something else.
I sat and read books to my little boy last night, he absolutely loved it coz i never do that as im too busy working my way down a bottle of wine so the urge passed coz i felt really good about myself.
Keep strong
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No Escape
kudzu is good, but it makes me quite emotional, does help with cravings thoughComment
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No Escape
Take all the supplements as suggested in the program. From the first day I took them my urge to drink has dropped dramatically. Believe it and you will find it works. I am 11 days af.
GumshyComment
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No Escape
I'm 9 days
hot on your heels :goodjob:Comment
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No Escape
hi noescape and all who replied-
no, i am starting day 3 today so it is early days for me but for a long time,my mind too was like a running commentary in my head, replaying things said and done over and over like a bad movie.
I drank to stop the constant chatter,so i do understand where your coming from- even when i saw the pain in my husband's and eldest eyes.
From reading on here for a while,i am beginning to believe that is the nature of the beast alcohol-mixed that with low self esteem and you have a timebomb-
I know it is easy to say but the more alcohol days you have behind you-(have got to nearly 20 before)that was my best- your self esteem starts to come back.
I wish you all the best and keep reading here as there is lots of wonderful experienced advice.
xxComment
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No Escape
Sunray -
You are so right. The more alcohol free time you can get, the better things will start to look. Your self-esteem will eventually come back (but you DO have to work on it). Also, the urges and cravings will diminish, although they will creep up from time to time, they will be easier to ignore. Feelings of shame, guilt and anxiety are what keep most of us alcoholics returning to the alcohol because it's easier to drown them out than deal with them. I used to have all of those feelings too, and sometimes I still do, but they DO fade in time, and you can replace them with good feelings, like being proud of your AF time.
Keep posting and reading around this site, you will find lots of strength and wisdom. And feel free to ask anything. We're here for you!
K9:heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:
Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.Comment
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No Escape
No Escape,
I take Kudzu, Milk Thistle and L-Glutamine - check out this site and the internet for the benefits.
I was drinking every night 1-2 bottles of wine and like you wanted to stop and get out of the vicious cycle, so I check into this site regularly for support and take my supplements and I'm now on day 9 of moderating.
My long term goal is moderation I don't want to give up just control my drinking habit, in the last 9 days I've had just 2 glasses of wine one on Friday and one of Sunday (Sunday was always my big drinking day starting while I was preparing Sunday lunch and drinking right through to going to bed).
The supplements definitely help me, but there's no magic pill you have to be firm with yourself. I still think about having a glass of wine, but I question myself, do I really want it? What will I get from it? A quick fix and then back to feeling crap, ashamed, depressed, then I answer no I won't have one I've done so well so far, etc.... and the moment passes.
Good luck on your journey come back to the site often you'll always find someone here to chat to and get advice/supportComment
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