9 days into a new and better way

[grangelady]

Hi Guys
I've been a member of the forum for a few months and have found it really helpful to get feedback and support from the site.

My drinking was getting out of hand,I started off a couple of glasses of wine in the evening but not every night mainly at weekends, which over the years ended up a bottle sometimes going onto a 2nd every night.

I started to hate the way AL made me feel in the mornings, waking feeling bad that I'd drunk so much, not being able to remember the end of a TV programme I'd being watching, that slurred telephone conversation with a friend or family member.

Then last week I went to my GP with swollen ankles and feet - I was put of water tablets and was told me BP was way too high and that it was to be monitored every 2 weeks to see if I need medication to sort it.

My GP commented on the 30 units of alcohol I'd declared on my medical record at the time that was right but that was about 2 years ago, recently it's gone up to nearer 70, he told me 30 units was too much and I needed to cut back drastically as it was no doubt a contributory factor to my high BP and water retention...he'd have a blue fit if he knew that I was drinking double that these days

So I came home and decided enough is enough I need to get a grip and sort my life out more importantly my drinking and get healthy. So that's exactly what I've done, albeit only for 9 days.

I had only 2 glasses of wine since last Tuesday. I've been making sure I eat better and drink loads of water to flush out the toxins. This is nothing short of a small miracle for me it means that instead of about 70 units and 7000 calories I've had just 3 units and 300 calories. I've struggled with my weight for years losing and gaining and I know the main reason for this is wine, I would cut right back on food and cut out all 'naughty' food but I'd still drink my bottle of wine.

I've been taking Kudzu, Milk Thistle and L-Glut morning and night and it's really helped. I got through my first weekend with just a glass of wine on Friday and a glass on Sunday, with no real issues, yes I did think about drinking, but somehow I was able to control the urge and it passed.

My long term goal is to drink in moderation and it's as I've always believed I was drinking more out of habit than the desire for a drink. After 9 days it is definitely getting easier, I still think shall I have a glass of wine tonight...then I think no I'm okay, and almost talk myself out of it.

I'd love to hear how others are coping on the road to moderate drinking and find out when it starts to get tough if at all.

Here's to the next 9 days...one day at a time:h:h

[esprimo]

9 days into a new and better way

moderation

Hi, my wine consumption was similiar to yours and I've tried to moderate my alcohol drinking many times, and like yourself was able to lower my drinking just enough to feel like I was in control. But in the end I realised I was never in control as, like yourself, if and when I was going to have that wine was always on my mind and I'd always fall back into my usual bottle of wine a night. It wasn't until April this year that I decided to stop completely and changing my mind set from deprivation to all the positiveness of not having alcohol has changed my whole thinking. Why reward yourself with any alcohol at all? it has such a damaging effect on you and the people around you. Any pleasure you get is so short lived and does not weigh out with that horrible feeling of being out of control and feeling ill for hours on end the day afer.
I have found it 100% easier to stop completely than trying to cut down as I don't have to plan around drinking and now I have realised how bad it is, and how much engrained it is in our culture I don't have a problem telling people I no longer drink and the reason why.

I'd just like to add how sane this site makes me feel and would encourage you to carry on visiting this forum. This is the first post I have put on, even though I visit the site everyday and read the posts others put on and I'd like to thank everyone who does as its been a huge source of support when I needed it most.

[grangelady]

9 days into a new and better way

Hiya
Thanks for the reply... well done in giving up since April that's a real achievement you should be very proud of yourself.

I am the same as you I'm telling myself of all the positive things a life without excessive drinking has to offer.

I sit a watch TV and can remember what it is I watched the next morning! I wake feeling happy, lively and positive as opposed to depressed, angry and hating myself for drinking too much.

I am much more positive since virtually cutting out alcohol I've changed my mindset too I'm concentrating on a healthy eating plan one that has no place for alcohol, I'm determined to lose the excess weight I'm been carrying and hating for years and if I'm AF I know I can get back to my ideal weight - I was drinking around 7000 calories alone in a week - cut that out and the weight loss should be a breeze:H

We both must keep up the good work:l

[esprimo]

9 days into a new and better way

well done to you too and I wish you the all the best. Its not easy changing such a long standing habit and there have been times (like our family holiday, my birthday, weddings etc) that I have had to experience in a different way (and thats only since April!) but I have always hung onto the positive effects of being totally alcohol free like you have described and feel like a completely different person now. I was always juggling with my weight, and like you could stop eating most things unhealthy but never the wine. Now I eat double and treat myself to other things that I always deprived myself from and I've still lost weight without even trying so there must be tons of calories in alcohol. Apart from looking better I feel healthier, I used to look tired and ill in the mornings, even pretending to have a virus sometimes at work because people commented on how tired I sometimes looked. There are loads of benefits to stopping drinking and they are personal to each other but some of the threads on this forum were very helpful to me and helped me realise the damage I was doing not just to me but my family, especialy my teenage kids, how could I tell them alcohol was so damaging when I drunk it every night in front of them!
I really hope you can moderate your alcohol intake, however I found that even one glass eventually (even though I started off positive I would forget the negative things alcohol does to you) would lower my resiliance and that one led to another and so on until I couldn't trust myself with even one as it was never enough. I used to wake up every morning thinking about the britney spears song "oops I did it again" and wanted to punish myself. Good luck, keep positive and honestly make it a ritual to come on this site every day, it really has helped me.

[grangelady]

9 days into a new and better way

Thanks for taking the time to reply

Hiya

Now on day 11 and still feeling positive and in control, I've only ever done about 4-5 days and then fell back into the bottle of wine a night.

The difference this time is I'm taking the supplements and I truly believe they help immensely. Only taking Kudzu, Milk Thistle and L-Glut but I can't believe the difference they are making to my alcohol cravings.

Previously days 1-3 were miserable constantly feeling deprived as I 'wanted' a glass of wine, feeling irritable and not knowing what to do with my evenings, then by 4 I'd give in a have a couple of glasses and that was me off again on the AL trail....but this time it's different somehow.

Last night I decided to have a glass or two of wine, I'd got some reduced alcohol (5.5% instead of the usual 12%) had 1st glass enjoyed it (but not as I normally would if I'm honest), then poured a 2nd had it with my meal, emptied the bottle (it was only half full when I started) sat watching TV and sipped the 3rd not getting any real pleasure from it and ended up throwing the remains away before bed.

This is such a result for me - I'd have polished off nearly the bottle while preparing and eating dinner, and certainly would have opened a 2nd to watch my favourite show on TV!

You're right the site does help - just being able to express your feelings, I don't even mind if no one reads/replies - it's a sort of therapy for me to see it written down, where I can come back and reaffirm all the positives reduced AL has given me.

Thanks again, good luck to you too :l

[Guest]

9 days into a new and better way

Well done GL.

Only thing to watch is that already your 1 glass has become two, even if you didn't enjoy it. My moderation attempts started with me "not enjoying it" - so then why was a bothering anyway, and ended with me right back where I'd left off.

Some can moderate but usually after a period of complete abstenance - 30 to 90 days is usual. I tried both several times and the result was many more years of suffering. Hope you find your way.

[grangelady]

9 days into a new and better way

Thanks UKB

I know what you're saying and I appreciate you pointing it out about 1 becoming 2 - penny didn't drop until you pointed it out, proves this forum works :l

Still feeling positive and happy and feel I'm on the right track, just hope all these positives continue

[babysteps]

9 days into a new and better way

Good morning all! It's so inspiring to hear everyone, as it could be me speaking! Even the wine. We women must love 'our wine'. I've been playing the 'moderation' game as well for quite some time. I am working my way to the 'why bother with any'. I've heard it said, and am truly beginning to believe it that it will just be easier to be af forever, and just say I don't drink, then to constantly be struggling with the 'how much', how long, struggling questions. I find that just being here and reading and posting is a great help. When I start again, I'll give my count at a week and keep on. Thanks!