I don't know what I'm doing but something is working

[buddabelly]

Well here goes. I am very new here, only a couple of days really. I am a computer nerd. I can barely find my way round my mobile, let alone this site. I don't know how to get smilies up, havn't got a clue what a post or a thread is, but hey who cares ? I am clean and I am loving every God given minute of it. 4mths ago I was depressed, I did not care whether I lived or I died. Alc, depression and my physical health,alc related and not had brought me to the 'place'.Today I am grateful for every godforsaken minute of it. Weird isn't it. Today right here right now, cause that's all I got, I am happier than I ever thought possible. Things have happened to me over the last few days that are, as is said someplace, beyond my wildest dreams. It seems that all I have to do to look after me is look after you. Get my screaming insane self out of the way,and let God do the rest, This is coming from a card carrying agnostic.

What's an agnostic any way, it's just another way of saying I don't know. See how I ramble, that's ok too, I am slowly learning to accept the unacceptable ie me and everything else. I could never accept how I was,or how you were. I knew best. Yea ain't that the truth ( NOT).

Well that feels better. Nothing like a bit of emotional cleansing.

I feel WONDERFUL, and I would just like to share that with Y'all, that's how talk over there isn't it ?

[Doggygirl]

I don't know what I'm doing but something is working

:yougo::yougo::yougo:

Congratulations! I am so happy for you! I can relate to that horrible dark and lonely place where you didn't care if you lived or died. I was there. I love my sober life. Just wait - it gets better.

(just click on the smilies on the right hand side of the screen. they insert in a text format while you are typing your post and then they turn into smilies once you submit your post. Don't be afraid to just ask questions if you are having trouble finding your way around things here on the forum!)

DG

[buddabelly]

I don't know what I'm doing but something is working

Thank you

I am here, I have arrived. And there you are you are. Just where we're sposed to be. You wre there all the time I just couldn't see you. I was in the way, don't you know. Course you do. If this is a alc, free spiritual experience, bring it on !

As for the details, I will learn, with your help'

I am learning that this game is not one I can play alone.

BLINDING FLASHES OF THE BLATENTLEY OBVIOUS ! Whoopee. What ever this is I want some more, but don't I always ?

[rie]

I don't know what I'm doing but something is working

10 days ago, i was in the same place as you. nothing mattered, nothing was important, and i didn't care if i lived or died. i just did not care about ANYTHING. when i crawled out of my bed, i knew that i had to DO something. my life had become a vicious cycle of saying that i wouldn't drink, or i'd mod my drinking, but it didn't work that way for me. i'd FIND a reason to buy a bottle of tequila and drink it from my bed. sip after little sip after little sip til the bottle was empty, and i'd drive drunk to the next liquor store where they hadn't seen me for a few days. had to rotate the liquor stores so that nobody would know how much i was actually drinking. yeah, like i fooled anyone, right?

life is such a mystery. i called my pcp to increase my antidepressant and while there admitted that i had a problem with alcohol. she prescribed a medication for me that has helped to change my life. she also increased my antidepressant. the campral that she prescribed has taken away ALL cravings, and i feel normal as i haven't felt in YEARS!

i went to a free concert last night (little river band) with my sister and brother-in-law who were bending their elbows to bring that booze to their lips and brain. i didn't feel the slightest desire to drink, and i am thanking god for the change that has taken place in me. 10 days ago, i'd have been drunker than they were and would have been pissed that i had to drink rum and coke rather than the tequila that i so badly wanted.

keep up the good work! well done!

[Doggygirl]

I don't know what I'm doing but something is working

Rie, so happy to hear about your success and also your supportive doctor! Sometimes all we have to do is be honest and ask for help. I love Little River Band. Wish I could have gone with you!

DG

[sunshine_gg]

I don't know what I'm doing but something is working

YOU WENT TO SEE LITTLE RIVER BAND??? AND FREE? :H

Damn. Oh.. sorry - back to matters at hand

Budda - good to hear you so upbeat. Wishing you the very best on your journey
And, you, too - Rie Well done and it sounds like the Campral is really doing the trick for you!

[savon19]

I don't know what I'm doing but something is working

Buddabelly (lol!) and all... This is such an inspirational thread! I really need to be reading stuff like this. I seem to have forgotten the GOOD stuff about being AF.

I remember coming on here & posting almost the same thing, how wonderful I felt, how positive life has become, etc. etc. Now, I'm just stuck in a web. I'm not overdoing but once/wk... but that's one time too many.

I need to get my MOJO back!!