Feeling deprived.....

[Time to change]

....How do I get passed that mentality?
I really don't want to drink again but I still feel like I'm hard done by and its really frustrating.
I've fallen off the wagon a couple of times over the past 2 weeks and I haven't been checking in on here as much as I was. Each time I've slipped it's been because I was having a "Why shouldn't I have a drink?" moment which sneak up on me.
It makes me feel like a fraud, I really truly want to quit completely and I'm not in denial of any kind that I can tell, But I can't get passed the feeling It's all unfair. I know this is something I need to get passed but how do I change that mentality? will I wake up one day and see it all from a different perspective?
I've come along way since I started this journey but I'm nowhere near where I want or need to be and its so frustrating!!
Any advice and wise words would be much appreciated, I'm sure everyones been there.

xx :thanks:

[bigscotsman]

Feeling deprived.....

we aint missing anything, the party is in our hearts

[not tonight]

Feeling deprived.....

Hi T.T.C. - getting past the deprivation mentality is a big hurdle, but defiantly achievable. First, when that question "Why shouldn't I have a drink?" pops into your head get on MWO and ask others why you shouldn't. I have found that when I am feeling tempted, just putting the triggers down in writing and then posting them for others to read helps to calm the cravings, and then of course there is all the valuable advice everyone in this forum so generously provide, that helps put the desire to drink "back in the bottle".

Another means of dealing with the deprivation blues is to find a new activity, hobby whatever to fill your new found time. Even if it's as simple as reading that book you have had on your bedside table for ever, crack it open. These are things that you can do because you are sober. This is a way to give back to yourself. Drinking soaks up so much of our time without giving us anything productive in return. We feel sooo much better in ourselves when we are improving ourselves.

Take it one day at a time and before you know it you will be so grateful for the quality of life that sobriety provides, you will not feel deprived by it any longer.

[Little Owl]

Feeling deprived.....

Time to Change, I have a strange feeling that I have lost something. I'm so used to having a glass of wine or a beer beside me all the time. I don't want to drink, but it feels like something is missing. I have drunk a lot of diet cherry cola. I guess it will pass.

I actually think a lot of the time I was just thirsty, especially after work or on a hot day.

I dreamed last night someone gave me a glass of wine at work of all places! I finished off the glass I already had, started on that one, then thought dammit, I'm not drinking any more, now I've gone and spoiled it all. Then I woke up and was so pleased it was just a dream.

I think we reward ourselves with a drink, and have to find something to take its place.

Yes, I've been there, starting, failing, starting again, its taken me six months, I did 11 days or so, I've forgotten exactly how many, quite early on then couldn't do it any more. It just has to be the right time I think. Don't give up.

[Doggygirl]

Feeling deprived.....

Time to Change, when I first tried to quit drinking and had those thoughts, I thought it was somehow "just me" and that those thoughts that I could have "a" drink were TRUE (which they are not, at least not for me). Holding out a teeny bit of hope that I really COULD drink safely again made my journey so much more difficult. I didn't even realize I WAS holding out that small hope until I finally let it go (after a bad relapse).

I don't know if it's helpful or not, but I think all of us have those same thoughts and for nearly all of us, it's just lies from AL - the cunning and baffling and powerful one.

The way I have achieved contented sobriety for myself (the compulsion is gone, one day at a time) is by tweaking my daily plan, and tweaking my daily plan, and tweaking my daily plan until I found what works for me. And it IS a daily plan. I don't slack off. I have to work at my sobriety every day. But what I get in return with a full and happy life is such a gift. The effort is nothing compared to the effort I used to put into drinking every day.

You can do it - don't give up. If what you are doing isn't working, change it.

Strength and hope,

DG

[Time to change]

Feeling deprived.....

Thanks for the encouragement guys, I'm just feeling a little deflated with it all. I don't want to drink though so that is the main thing. I know it takes time and I can be a little impatient at times. As of tomorrow evening I'm going to take up running again which will give me something to focus on, I'm going to aim to log on here each evening again too as I've drifted away a bit lately, This place has been the biggest encouragement and reading the posts every day is a reminder of why we're all here and that it is possible. Thanks again xx

[Farm Girl]

Feeling deprived.....

Time to Change, some great wisdom here from everybody. What has been working for me is this - instead of feeling like I am denying and depriving myself of AL, which is the hard road (that I have been on many times), I have decided this is a choice I have made so I can have a life without addiction, fear, loss of family and friends, etc. Every time the "I am sure I can have just one glass of wine" feeling comes over me, I ask myself "why risk it?"

[southernbelle47]

Feeling deprived.....

Make two list.....side by side.
One list all the pro's of drinking...second list all the cons of drinking. The cons are always my longer list!

[paguy]

Feeling deprived.....

Time to Change:

Whenever I get those feelings that "I've given something up" (negative), I concentrate on focusing on everything I've gained (positive) over the last 41 days:

1 - Waking up in the morning with a clear head and not trying to piece together what happened the night before.
2 - I've lost about 6 pounds.
3 - My blood pressure is within normal limits (first time in 20 years)
4 - Getting a solid nights sleep and feeling rested in the morning.
5 - A keen sense of self-awareness that is making me appreciate and be grateful for the relationships in my life.
6 - Overall, a much better quality of life.

These are just a few examples of what I've gained which far outweigh any 'perceived' benefits of alcohol that I think I may have given up. In reality, what I've given up is a destructive relationship with alcohol that was eventually going to destroy me. And, that is something that I am happy to have walked away from.

My best wishes to you on this journey.....

[K9Lover]

Feeling deprived.....

TimeToChange,
I've been sober for almost 5 months now, and I still get that feeling from time to time...the one where I feel like I'm depriving myself of something. I try to think back and remember what exactly I feel like I'm "missing out on". I know I was an at-home only drinker. So it was just me sitting on the couch, drinking 10-12 beers, feeling bloated, then stumbling off to bed. For some reason that was really "fun", since I did it for years. Looking back though, it doesn't make sense. Near the end of my drinking, I drove to the liquor store after 8 beers (not proud of that), in my pajamas, walked in, slipped and fell, got up and grabbed another 12 pack. What a mess! I think of that everytime I try to "glamourize" drinking. A middle-aged drunk woman in pajamas stumbling around in the liquor store. Jeez! What fun, huh??

[Guest]

Feeling deprived.....

Alcohol deprived me of a life for so long I don't really get those feelings at all. I do however get urges and struggle, but I've recognised them as simply me wanting to get off my face(it's always drunk and never "Oh, I'll just have 1 or 2") in order to avoid things that do crop up in life.

I've also seen people out at weekends supposedly giving themselves a 'treat'. Errm, if staggering around talking rubbish, looking terrible, having a splitting head the next day is the opposite to being deprived I'll take deprived thanks very much. Alcohol made me feel sh!t when I last drank it, so can't see any attraction at all[just the numbing effect].