The end of the Experiment

[patrice]

Hiya
My experience is probably similar to a lot of you all here. I found this site wonderful and supportive and for those who know me I'd just like to recap .. and for new people to share my ascent and subsequent descent..

I was AF for most of June and July,with one slip a total of 49 days.. For some strange reason/excuse I then drank 2 bottles of wine over 3 days at the end of July .. I posted on here and got lots of encouragement to get back on the horse.. I did for 3 days and felt much better

I joined Techies 30 day challenge and felt like I was again forging ahead but only lasted 3 days until I had a glass of wine.......

That 'glass' lasted for the next 2 weeks where I had to call in sick at work a few times, didn't really eat, bills didn't get paid, chaos reigned and every day I felt worse and worse..I couldnt believe I was back to the same pattern so quickly after being 6 weeks AF.

Anyway last weekend was the last alcohol fueled weekend for me.. I did all the things I hate about alcohol.. drunk texting, bad behaviour, embarrassment, risk taking, no food etc...yuk!!!!

There is now no doubt in my mind that for me... I can't drink, and I won't drink. Today is Day 4 for me, I am counting again, keeping a diary and will be checking in here a lot.

Thanks to all my pals who always offer support and hi to new people who i look forward to knowing more. So back to the ascent...

Take Care
Patrice

[Lavande]

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Patrice,

Sounds like you have learned something very important about yourself - good!
Now that you know the truth you know what you need to do

I never had the guts to try moderating. I think I just knew that I would blow it & end up disgusted with myself. I was suprised at how good I felt after my first 30 days. That was when I made the decision to stay AF. Until then my junkie brain kept telling me - you'll be able to drink again - some day.

I am very happy to be AF & I know you will be too.
Congrats on your decision & best wishes to you

Lav

[beagle]

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good on you patrice.
it's great to read of others' experiences good & bad, partic as i have never been af for very long but today is day 5 for me & i'm plugging away. trying not to look too far ahead is my biggest thing. (slow down,beagle, slooooowwww dowwwwwn)
it'd be great to hear from you daily if you can as i find tremendous support in people having thesame "time" as me....
...as well as from the lovely Lav to whom i send a large hug & will pm you soon.:l

[fennel]

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Here's to the end of your experiment!

[witchywoman]

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hay Patrice
The same thing happened to me, only it took me over a year to get up the courage to try again.
I am currantly on day 3 but feel so much better, I asm so pleased for you that you were able to pick yourself up sooner,
good luck
XX

[Guest]

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Patrice

They say in AA that if you fancy trying to continue drinking then to go out and get on with it. I surely did that and for many years. All that happened was things got worse. Yes I had sober patches, at the end of which I thought I could go out once a week and drink. How foolish, within a month of so I was right back where I had been.

I just hope this has been enough for you this time.

[goingsobermum]

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When I knew I needed and wanted to quit I was waiting to hit rock bottom and be picked up. I wanted to curl up in a ball and be saved. One day I realised that I could save my self so I imagined that abyss that I had wanted to fall into and put a plank across. Sobriety was on the other side. I didn't need to fall in but I visualised myself on that plank with all my problems with alcohol in bags in my hands, then I dropped the bags into the abyss and moved forward to sobriety.
You can do this, believe in yourself and in the fact that being sober if fun and liberating.

[papmom3]

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Hi Patrice,
You can do this!! Are you able to get the supplements where you are or have them sent to you? They really do help, at least for me. It is tough to come to the realization that you can't safely drink anymore but in a way it's freeing as well.
I am half way through Goingsobermum's website and blog and it is awesome!! A must read!!
Good luck patrice-we're here for you!!

[Anjicia]

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Hi Patrice well i've just come off a 6 day bender and like you it was supposed to be a couple of glasses of wine. Didn't eat properly either and no bills paid, most days i din't even shower. Was very sick yesterday and still shakey today but i determined not to cave in and i'm struggling today. I can't drink in moderation so it will have abstince odat. i feel very dfown today but this always happens after a binge.:upset:

[Guitarista]

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Go for it Patrice! Don't forget yer 'Toolbox'!

Hang in there Firefox. Just get through these next couple of day's and you're on your way. x

[babysteps]

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Good job Patrice; this Patty isn't too different from you. Have yet to reach my first 30 days, but starting again today. Waiting on supplements, though I have some. I love that example of 600+ days to reach 'getting' it from Zenstyle - thanks! That's oh, close to 2 years and I bet true. But my first 30 days will feel very good. I'm really getting closer to believing that the worry over never having a drink will disappear when I get back my old 'full' life. It's half wasted spending every other day recouping from the day of drinking before... Thanks all, this is a good place to be.

[Time to change]

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Hi patrice,

I drank 2 bottles of wine last night, this started when I mistakenly thought I could have one glass of wine while I was having my hair done,.....What a fool. Like you, I know that abstinance is the only way I'm going to move forward and It is liberating to know and much easier than trying to moderate.
Firefox, I feel very down today too, really sorry for my self to be honest. I tried to sleep all day just so I didn't have to think. This is no way to live. xx

[techie]

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Hi Patrice I was missing you am I'm so glad you're back. Let's makeover your lab so going forward all your experiments are healthy ones. There are sixteen days left on my challenge and I would be honored to have you tackle those with me. I'm so happy that you are back in the fight. You are a wonderful person. Join me? John xx

[babysteps]

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Time to change, we have to inspire each other. 2 bottles of wine sounds like one of my tricks; imagine, we were both tipping away at the same time. I say, for the last time. Join me again? Worst thing is, can't even sleep it off anymore, sleep a couple hours then up and can't sleep. So I'm going for coffee and feel bad or not, going to do a few Sat. chores. Smile!

[babysteps]

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I quit drinking when I stopped experimenting with drinking! Love that!

Sheri;946063 wrote: Hi Patrice,

I experimented with drinking for 30+ years and continued drinking!

I quit drinking when I stopped experimenting with drinking!

That's what worked for me. Hope it works for you, too!

Go for it and give it all you got!

Sheri