Sober (AF) September Challenge

[sidney]

Sober (AF) September Challenge

I was away and I just read so many of your messages...thank you so much for your support. This is such a wonderful place. I can only hope my husband caught this early we go to the doctor on the 29th. Until that I am not going to whine. Or drink the wine...
10 more days to go to the 30. And then we party. With perrier.

Sid

[neart]

Sober (AF) September Challenge

Happy Birthday for tomorrow, Sid!! It is so true that AL does the skin no favours :H I am 30 and have had a red blotch on my cheek constantly for the past 2 years or so, and couldn't see the connection between it and all the AL and tobacco I was ingesting... I hope your family are doing okay, and it must be such a massive boost to you that you are really present, if you know what I mean? That AL isn't numbing and stopping you connecting at this important time. Lots of love from Ireland :l

You know, after all this talk of white wine looking like pee, I think I'm going to struggle not to make a face the next time I see someone drinking wine!!

Dewdrop, let us know how your Zumba class goes (and what it is ) I went to yoga and pilates today, so feel justified in eating lots of buns.

[anon]

Sober (AF) September Challenge

Happy Birthday Sidney. Thinking of you.

[choice]

Sober (AF) September Challenge

Day 29 AF. I can't believe it's almost 30 days. I feel really good about that. I couldn't have done it without you guys!!:h:l

Yeah... urine- I didn't want to touch it. Have you ever given a speech where you can hear your own voice and keep talking but a part of you can't believe your talking to a group of people? That's kinda how it felt trying to get that wine away from me. I realize people are going to drink but it's really a challenge for me to watch them do it. I'm beginning to realize that AL is becoming somewhat of a phobia for me at the moment, just being near it. Just typing that helps me to figure out what's going on. humph.

I agree Peace and Spinning that the thought of how the last hangover felt is starting to fade as I feel better and better and it does have cause for concern as to staying sober. I think I'm getting my head around working at sobriety. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into 29 days ago but it feels so much better and I don't want to turn back now.

Witchy I love the change of seasons myself I wish I was down south so we could celebrate together How are you doing down there with all of that snow? I've been kind of taking inventory of my friendships the past couple of years. I have similar stories as neart and DG. I feel like I've been playing a role for some friends that hasn't been healthy or balanced. Also I've felt let down by some long term friends (20+) whom I care for deeply. The last 4 weeks I've thought about friendship a lot. I think when a person drinks too much so much is affected. A lot of it negative towards others. This mess I'm finding uncomfortable but a little easier to get my head around because it's more obvious. There can be attempts to say sorry, or try to make it right, guilt, shame.. not easy but identifiable.

When it comes to being there for a friend who depends on you for a lot- One who has kinda tapped the well and keeps tapping- it's harder. I've had a few concerns over those relationships where I'd go from sober to drunk as a sound board on the phone or in person. Or was their drinking buddy during their hard times, and just basically didn't have any boundaries with.

Those are the times when my drinking along side a dear friend may have given them some help but it was SELF destructive. Change is good especially such a positive one such as being sober but I'm thinking it must have just as large an impact. People resist change, even if in their heart of hearts they love you and want the best for you. Some of my friendships I've decided for the moment are on hold as I work really hard on myself. I figure, at some point I would have lost everyone anyway so at the end of the day my sobriety will enable me to be there for friends in the future in ways I don't yet understand.

[Chillgirl]

Sober (AF) September Challenge

sidney;963970 wrote: No because we are fussy little Virgos.

Absolutely.....:H

[neart]

Sober (AF) September Challenge

choice;964063 wrote: Those are the times when my drinking along side a dear friend may have given them some help but it was SELF destructive. Change is good especially such a positive one such as being sober but I'm thinking it must have just as large an impact. People resist change, even if in their heart of hearts they love you and want the best for you. Some of my friendships I've decided for the moment are on hold as I work really hard on myself. I figure, at some point I would have lost everyone anyway so at the end of the day my sobriety will enable me to be there for friends in the future in ways I don't yet understand.

Choice, you managed to put into words what I have been struggling with, so thank you! I have a dear friend, who I've been friends with since we were 12. I've found our relationship has been uneasy the past 2 or 3 months. For ages, I thought it was her, that she had changed or was depressed or something, but it has gradually been dawning on me that it's not her who changed, it's me. She was one of the close friends who discouraged me from giving up AL, and not because she doesn't love me, but as Choice said, because of resisting change. It's like we don't know how to act around each other now that I've changed, and she tends to have a very negative outlook on life, whereas I always look for the silver lining, or try to at least! Maybe it just needs time. And I need this time to focus on me, getting me sorted. Also, it's just over a year now since I broke up with my ex after 5 years together, and I was getting all caught up in the idea of meeting someone new. But maybe I need a little more time standing on my own two feet before bringing someone new into the equation?

[mollyka]

Sober (AF) September Challenge

Evening everyone - this really is one busy thread! I worked 13 hours today and have just glimpsed back over the posts, so just a quick one tonight I'm afraid, I'm exhausted. Yes Chill I'm hoping to make it into dinner in town one of those nights - hope you can make it too Neart - it's be lovely to put faces to folks!
I also have felt let down by a 'good' friend who sort of dumped me when I stopped drinking, tho she was in touch there a little while ago so when I feel strong enough I might just tell her where I am at.
Sid, I am delighted you are back posting and that you didn't turn to the wine, I hope indeed you have caught your husbands cancer on time, think positive, I think it is a big part of the battle and a happy birthday to you tomorrow and Chill - Your birthday today I think?:bday7::band2:Hope everyone has a nice day/night/evening
Molly

[choice]

Sober (AF) September Challenge

Neart, Someone new???? Sounds fun and exciting!! I got a smile when I read that :h

Of course only you know when your ready but I think you sound like you've really got it together. :l A year is good breathing space, look how far you've come. I wonder who the lucky guy will be? I just saw you were 30? Perfect timing. I have to say my romantic relationship sober is more fun then I'd thought. Although I am a bit more prude and shy then I was after a crazy night on drinks :H. ODAT :H

As far as the friends go, I'm kinda excited to see what the future holds. I don't mean to sound trite but when one door closes another one opens. I think some old friends just need time to adjust to their best bud sobering up. The change is huge.

[Doggygirl]

Sober (AF) September Challenge

Chill is it your birthday? If so, Happy 29th! (and if not, Happy 29th! :H)

When I first started going to AA I thought when I heard them suggest that in general (i.e. so long as abuse is not involved) one should consider "staying put" on the relationship front for the first year of continuous sobriety. If you are in one, stay and if you are not in one, stay out of one. I didn't buy into that at first (for other people of course, as my own relationship thank God is OK! :H). These days in addition to trying harder to mind my own business (:H), I see what they are talking about. I've seen people rush into new relationships or rush out of old ones, and there are just so many personal changes going on in that first year, that major relationshiop changes seem to add extra emotional upheaval. I'm starting to understand why the "old timers" suggest not making changes that first year. FWIW....

Grateful to be sober for today, that's for sure.

DG

[Peacefull]

Sober (AF) September Challenge

Happy Birthday Chillgirl and happy birthday eve to you Sidney

[anon]

Sober (AF) September Challenge

Happy birthday Chill and when is your birthday? Feeling very tired and ready for bed. Enjoying this sober life!
I notice that I am just over 200 posts and most in the past few months. Been trying to get sober since 2008. I am grateful that I have survived many years of alcohol abuse to enjoy and live the life I am living now.
Thanks to all the great people on this thread and their uplifting and courageous stories.
Right time for bed

[Sunbeam]

Sober (AF) September Challenge

Wow, all these posts. Happy b-day to Chill and Sidney. Sidney, I will hit 57 in 6 months. Sid, I am so glad you are back posting with us. My heart is with you and your husband in the journey ahead.

I am so blessed that I have friends with whom I used to share too much wine, but they are still good friends. I was always the one drinking the most.

My presentation tonight went well. It is time for a good soak in the hot tub.

[Spinning J]

Sober (AF) September Challenge

Good Morning ! :bday7: to Sidney and Chill I hope you have a great day . Sunbeam, I'm glad your presentation went well. Anon you are doing great I'm really enjoying sober life too it's so much easier!!! I'm luckcy in that none of my friends really drink or family so it was always just me on my own making an idiot of myself well not anymore! I'm 30 days AF today and feeling proud of myself . This time I know I can't try moderating so heres to the next 30! It has sort of taken away the pressure and this time I have to say it has been quite easy because of a shift in my thinking and this thread has been great !
:thanks: for all the support you guys rock !! :l :h x
Choice congratulations on your 30 days!:goodjob:

[enja]

Sober (AF) September Challenge

Just stopping by to say Happy Birthday to Chill & Sidney - hope you had/have a fab day! :bday3::day6:

Wow - only 10 more days left on the SS Challenge!!! I'm learning so much from everyone here and I'm very grateful that I found MWO, it's made a HUGE difference keeping me AF - I honestly don't think I would have been able to do it without you all. :l

:h

[anon]

Sober (AF) September Challenge

Hope all the birthdays went well! 17 days af longest I have ever been since my twenties i will be 64 in january so you can work out just HOW long I have been drinking. I can even remember hangovers whe I was pregnant. Thank goodness all my kids are perfectly ok and are definitley not following in my footsteps.
Well done on 30 days Spinning J.:goodjob: (Very American don't you think?)
Have a great day all to come.
It is 7.30 am and I already have 2 lots of washing on the line How is that for a sober life. This may be the last day of sunshine here in England so better make the most of it