I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack.

[choice]

I just got off the phone with my mother. When I told her what I was trying to do she said my drinking has bothered her for a long time now and has tried to find ways to tell me but couldn't. My sister agrees. My boyfriend agrees. I haven't been hiding as well as I thought. I've been found out. I don't feel cravings for AL but I am overwhelmed with the truth. I don't want to believe it, I am in denial... I am fighting with my brain, my throat is closing up... I'm angry at my therpist for telling me two years ago that I didn't have a problem when I clearly did. I told him I had a problem and he said drinks where like breasts... one isn't enough two is perfect and three is to many.. I took that session to mean I was a okay and went out and got drunk while on the anti depressants he had perscribed. Right now I am shaking as if I did drink last night but I didn't. help.:upset:

[Rusty]

I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack.

Hi Choice,

We have all been in your shoes. We ALL thought that no one could notice that we were drinking. I thought the same thing you did.....and I was devastated when my family confronted me. I was angry, I cried. Like you, I shook. I don't think you are in denial because you are admitting you have a problem and your life feels unmanageable, but without AL, it will get better.

Have you downloaded the MWO book? It's a valuable resource, along with the recommended supplements.

Post here, lurk here and know that life is better without AL.

Good luck to you on your journey. We are all here for you.

[techie]

I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack.

Hi Choice You are just feeling overwhelmed which is normal. Just try and relax. In the end you'll be relieved that it's out in the open. Here now is an opportunity to get your mom and sister on your support network. The therapist was a jerk but you know that already. Stick close to this site and continue to build a plan to maintain an AF life. I hope this helps...John

[Time to change]

I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack.

I second what Rusty said, and that "therapist' has obviously never been taught anything about addiction and needs to go back to school before he does any more damage!....and what's with the 'Breast' analogy???!!! Its a great thing that you've been open with the ones you love, they obviously love you and have been worried about you for sometime so they'll be relieved you've come clean to them, even if they did know you had a problem, the fact you've had the strength to call them and speak to them about it tonight means they'll be very proud of you as you should be of yourself right now. When I told my friends and family it was via email....There is NO WAY I could have been as brave as you and done it over the phone so well bloody done you! Take your time to calm down and I'm sure you'll begin to see how positive this experience actually is. xx

[choice]

I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack.

I'm exausted but have stopped crying. I'm just devastated that I hurt people. I've been hurt by other peoples drinking and it has left wounds. Now I really can't drink. The thought of it really sinking in feels like someone sitting on my chest. I have been seeing that Dr. since I was 15. Off and on always relating to my feelings of suside. Putting this puzzle together I realize that a week after my first drinking experience lead me to those thoughts.. I've been on anti depressants anti anxiety pills and have never associated any problems I had being related to AL. I kept asking that "DR" about wanting to discuss possibly having a drinking problem... all of these years. When I was really young he said it was all just a part of growing up... have fun enjoy yourself. When I was date raped in collage when I was drunk.. he said these things happen. I am SO ANGRY!!! Well, at least I can take this into my own hands now. I just need to get out of bed today at some point and take a walk. I really feel sick. SO SICK.

[Hippy Chick]

I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack.

Hi Choice.
Dont beat your self up with something that you cant change. You cant change what has gone on in the past, you cant change that you may have hurt people.
What you can change is your future. You can stop drinking and create a new life for yourself.
It sounds like your mum would be willing to help. It is good to have a support network when doing this as its not easy sometimes (but worth it). Please stick around this site and read and post whenever you need to. This place has been my lifeline over the last 9 months. I couldnt have got sober and stayed that way without all these wonderful people.
Good luck.
Hippy Chick

[choice]

I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack.

Well, I managed to take a shower and brush my teeth... I feel too weak to go for a walk and decided not to go to an art class tonight. I'm breathing better and reading the responses to this post over and over again. Thank you everyone for the kind words. I am SO glad that I am not drinking instead. Right now I am relieved that I'm in a space where I can deal with this problem. Yep that DR in Colorado won't ever see me again!!!! I got the creep-o's big time. I look forward to the truth setting me free... I guess I feel like I have a thick skull right now understanding that... but it will come with time as long as I don't drink. I can't imagine what I would act like tonight (if I went out drinking) with all of this emotional upset!! I have done that so many times. If I drank alone tonight I can see myself waking up on the kitchen floor so glad no body saw my state. As I type I feel better... I'm not alone and I'm actually really lucky that I can deal with this problem now and not later before it got even worse. I've had panic attacks before and I have to say it has been easier to handle... without a hangover on top of it. whew!

[techie]

I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack.

The alcohol also cancels out the benefits of the AD's. Once your AF for a period the meds will have a chance to work properly. I wish you all the best Choice. Keep close to this site! John xx

[choice]

I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack.

what are AD's? I'm staying close to My Way Out, because I want out from under this thing.