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    #1

    New to MWO

    :new: Hi, Everyone I'm not entirely sure what to write here. All that I know is I need somewhere to write freely about the problems I'm having with alcohol. I woke up in the bright light of morning today with a complete stranger laying next to me. I feel sick to my stomach even as I am typing now. Thank god he was an ok guy and we didn't do anything. I guess I just sort of turn into a different person when I have been drinking. I have lost friends because of drinking and made a complete idiot of myself, ie; typing on facebook to people whilst drunk and making a fool of myself.
    My biological father is an alcoholic and I swore I would never end up like he did. And now I have. I just find it so hard when walking into the supermarket and I am alone, bored and want something to make me feel better. Then I start making excuses or limits like "Ok , after tonight I will stop drinking." Or, "I will only have this four pack." and of course I am paying a taxi fee to go and get more or drinking the next day. I am just so sick and tired literally.
    Courage is not the absence of fear, it's acting in spite of it.
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    #2
    New to MWO

    welcome angel
    stick around this is a great place to be, there are heaps of newies like yourself and a ton of oldies too. have a read through the threads and get to know us.
    It's time I put my big girl pants on. :grannypants: I hope they fit.

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      #3
      New to MWO

      Thank you Zeppie, I will do that.
      Courage is not the absence of fear, it's acting in spite of it.

      Comment

        #4
        New to MWO

        Just jump on a thread and have a chat, remember we are all in the same boat here
        It's time I put my big girl pants on. :grannypants: I hope they fit.

        Comment

          #5
          New to MWO

          Angel,

          :welcome:

          The journey to sobriety is not easy. It is worth it, though.

          Cindi

          ps I am so grateful I have never woken up to a stranger next to me. My hubby would be a bit hurt. However, I can imagine it happening. It could happen to any of us. I do not kid myself about that. It is dangerous, is it not, to be "out there" drunk out of our minds and easy prey.
          AF April 9, 2016

          Comment

            #6
            New to MWO

            Thank you Cinders, yes I know I hate to think what could of happened. I really want to stop drinking. I have been to two AA meetings. I didn't feel quite right there though, I was the only female there and by far the youngest. It just didn't feel right. Anyway, thanks for your welcome

            Angel
            Courage is not the absence of fear, it's acting in spite of it.

            Comment

              #7
              New to MWO

              :welcome: Angel
              I used to do exactly the same as you, I was always going to not drink tomorrow but tomorrow never came? I could always come up with a reason in my mind why it would be ok to drink today. The repetitive spiral was killing me and so were the depressive moods I suffered the next day. This site was a Godsend to me and for the 1st time I didn't feel alone with all these thoughts. Keep checking in Angel and post how you are feeling, there are so many people here that can help you. Maybe you could try a different AA meeting which feels more comfortable, they are usually a wonderful bunch of people who will also give you great support.
              "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
              AF - JAN 1st 2010
              NF - May 1996

              Comment

                #8
                New to MWO

                Chillgirl,
                Wow, yes, that's exactly the same as me. The depressive mood the next day is horrible... ( like today for instance) haha. Yes I might see if there is a different meeting I can go to. Thank you for your kind welcome, I will most certainly visit again.

                Angel
                Courage is not the absence of fear, it's acting in spite of it.

                Comment

                  #9
                  New to MWO

                  Hi angel and welcome. I'm the same when I drink. I change into someone eles and its very scary. Stick with this site it will help you. Try not to be to hard on yourself and try to keep away from alcohol. I know when something bad has happened with me I tend to turn to drink to help me forget but it doesn't help. I'm only day 9 after a bad binge on holiday and feeling better already. Thinking of you. x
                  :lilangel:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    New to MWO

                    Hello Angel, I've been in that exact situation a few times and its horrible. I first posted on this site back at the start of July, so not that long ago at all but it feels like a life time ago. I've had some slip ups since then but I can honestly say my AF days have outnumbered my drinking days by far in that time. Before I began posting I was drinking a bottle and a half of wine every single day (at least) Now I don't do that anymore and it seems to have left my mind to do so. Oh, like I say I have had a few binges, last friday being my latest but i have broken the cycle I was in which is definate progress. I'm on day 4 AF now, 2 months ago I wouldn't have thought even that possible!!! Why not join the Sober September thread and start as you mean to go on. You'll find loads of support on here how ever you decide to tackle your problem hun. Welcome xx
                    AF since 19th August 2011

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                      #11
                      New to MWO

                      Hi Angel and Welcome!
                      Oh I can so relate to you! I've had my fair share of waking up in the morning and not knowing what I did, or how I got to where I was or (*cringe*) who was beside me. Then there was the endless drunk texting, emailing, facebook-ing, etc....the guilt and shame causes so much anxiety! The good news is you don't have to do that again...ever! Stick close to this site, you will be amazed at the amount of support and encouragement you will receive. I'm glad you're here, and I look forward to getting to know you!
                      K9
                      :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                      Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        New to MWO

                        Hello Angel!
                        I can relate to pretty much everything you described, only I was impressed you took a cab and didn't drive drunk even if it was to get more booze. My drinking was just not going so well for me and I was turning into someone I didn't know... this has been a great place to learn for me. I hope you feel better each day!
                        -choice

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                          #13
                          New to MWO

                          Spinning J
                          Thank you for your welcome. Everyone on here has been so nice, I only joined yesterday and am already feeling like this is going to be a good thing for me. The last time I had a drink was on the 30th. Actually I am sitting here right now contemplating going and buying some wine. Which I know logically ALL of the reasons why I shouldn't, but for right now it will even if only for a couple of hours make me feel better, happier.
                          Courage is not the absence of fear, it's acting in spite of it.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            New to MWO

                            choice, haha yes well it so happens that I lost my licence in 2009 for a DUI. Ashamed to say. And from that whole experience, I am NEVER drink driving again.
                            Courage is not the absence of fear, it's acting in spite of it.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              New to MWO

                              K9lover, oh yes I can relate totally to the *cringe* factor. I swear he was soooo much hotter last night. haha. Messaging and e-mail and facebook are the worst. I just dread waking up and reading the sent messages in my phone. Thank you for your welcome. angel
                              Courage is not the absence of fear, it's acting in spite of it.

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