As you can see by my start date, I'm not "just starting out". I haven't posted much but I'm looking ahead to the next two weeks with dread and wanting to commit to at least posting every day. Looking for accountability and maybe even success.
In general since I have found this site I've felt at least my alcohol use hasn't been progressing. I have tried and even adopted some of the tools but not really embraced the full path. Over the last few months though, the deadlines in my mind that I thought would make a difference, haven't. That's sobering. Or at least it ought to be..
So back to the title of this thread: "i'm sure it will get better when....." That sentence in July, I finished with: .....when I get back from my holiday when I know I won't drink. I indeed didn't drink, felt great, came back and rushed back into it almost worse than before. Then in mid-August I finished the sentence with: ....when I have to work nine days straight. Well, surprise (of course, not really) that wasn't true. Then the end of August I finished the sentence with: ......when I have to get things ready for my son's birthday weekend. And this morning I'm awake since 2 am, since daily drinking destroys my sleep, frantically realizing I'm not ready for today-his birthday.
So the next two weeks can be started with the phrase: "I'm sure it will get worse...." Because I'm home most days - and home is my drinking trap. So i'm committing to posting. Just hoping to turn things around. I realize I didn't succeed when things should have gone better so somewhere/somehow I really have to dig in and make a change. See you actually the day after tomorrow. Will be out of cyberspace tomorrow. Wish me luck or something.
In general since I have found this site I've felt at least my alcohol use hasn't been progressing. I have tried and even adopted some of the tools but not really embraced the full path. Over the last few months though, the deadlines in my mind that I thought would make a difference, haven't. That's sobering. Or at least it ought to be..
So back to the title of this thread: "i'm sure it will get better when....." That sentence in July, I finished with: .....when I get back from my holiday when I know I won't drink. I indeed didn't drink, felt great, came back and rushed back into it almost worse than before. Then in mid-August I finished the sentence with: ....when I have to work nine days straight. Well, surprise (of course, not really) that wasn't true. Then the end of August I finished the sentence with: ......when I have to get things ready for my son's birthday weekend. And this morning I'm awake since 2 am, since daily drinking destroys my sleep, frantically realizing I'm not ready for today-his birthday.
So the next two weeks can be started with the phrase: "I'm sure it will get worse...." Because I'm home most days - and home is my drinking trap. So i'm committing to posting. Just hoping to turn things around. I realize I didn't succeed when things should have gone better so somewhere/somehow I really have to dig in and make a change. See you actually the day after tomorrow. Will be out of cyberspace tomorrow. Wish me luck or something.
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